Joy in God through Marriage Exceeding Joy in God Series [12] Selected Scriptures July 28, 2013 Pastor Paul K. Kim

THE IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE IN FIGHTING FOR JOY IN GOD It is the first human institution established by God. It is the most basic relational unit for church as well as for family and society, It is a constant target attacked by Satan on both individual and societal level. It is God’s gift to us for double joy by being a conduit of God’s love to each other.

MARRIAGE: THE MYSTERY OF CHRIST’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHURCH 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. Ephesians 5:21-27

MARRIAGE: THE MYSTERY OF CHRIST’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHURCH 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:28-33

MARRIAGE: THE MYSTERY OF CHRIST’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHURCH Observation #1: Marriage is a metaphor/image of Christ’s relation to the church. This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. (v.32) As God has made man in his own image, so he made marriage in the image of his own eternal marriage with his people. Geoffrey Bromiley  Marriage is a mystery—of which deeper meaning concealed until now in Apostle Paul’s time—that reveals the eternal reality of the heavenly union of Christ and the church (Rev. 19:6-10).  It is not that Christ’s union with the church is a copy or metaphor taken from marriage—it is the other way around!

MARRIAGE: THE MYSTERY OF CHRIST’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHURCH Observation #2: The purpose of marriage to “sanctify each other,” reflecting Christ’s relationship with the church. 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. (vs )  In the light of God’s original design, the ultimate purpose of marriage is far more than a man and a woman joining together for pragmatic reasons and benefits.  The purpose is to reflect Christ’s betrothal and preparation of his bride to present her to himself as “holy and blemish” at the marriage banquet; so is the pattern of marriage in its purpose.

MARRIAGE: THE MYSTERY OF CHRIST’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHURCH Observation #3: The roles of husband and wife are rooted in the distinctive roles of Christ and the church. So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27 To the woman he said, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” Genesis 3:16

MARRIAGE: THE MYSTERY OF CHRIST’S RELATIONSHIP WITH THE CHURCH Observation #3: The roles of husband and wife are rooted in the distinctive roles of Christ and the church. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (vs )  Sin did NOT create headship and submission—it distorted them; The gender roles are complementary (= equal yet not identical).  This passage guards against the abuses of headship; rather it points husbands to love their wives as servant-leaders.  It also guards against the debasing of submission; rather it points wives to respect their husbands as willing supporters.

HOW TO FIGHT FOR JOY IN GOD THROUGH MARRIAGE 1)Practice your marriage AS THE MOST IMPORTANT RELATIONSHIP that supersedes all other human relationships. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. Genesis 2:24 “So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:6  The relationship with our spouse must come first before our children, parents, career, and our hobbies.  This priority is based on our covenantal relationship in marriage—a duty of delight to be a conduit of God’s love.  Our commitment must be toward the same blueprint in Christ.

HOW TO FIGHT FOR JOY IN GOD THROUGH MARRIAGE 2)Embrace your responsibility of SERVANT LEADERSHIP AS HUSBAND or WILLING SUBMISSION AS WIFE for God’s glory. 22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. Ephesians 5:22-23, 33  Headship is “the divine calling of a husband to take primary responsibility for Christlike servant leadership, protection, and provision in the home”; submission is “the divine calling of a wife to honor and affirm her husband's leadership and help carry it through according to her gifts.” [John Piper]  Therefore, we are to redeem these roles in our everyday marital life as God’s wise plan for us.

HOW TO FIGHT FOR JOY IN GOD THROUGH MARRIAGE 3)Pursue EACH OTHER’S SANCTIFICATION as the intentional goal of your marriage. that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, Ephesians 5:26 For I feel a divine jealousy for you, since I betrothed you to one husband, to present you as a pure virgin to Christ. 2 Corinthians 11:2  Marriage presents opportunities for both the most dangerous vulnerability and the most beautiful impact on our souls.  We are to take tender care and deep trust in allowing our spouse to be used by the Holy Spirit for our sanctification.  In so doing, our desires for self-centered happiness are transformed into holy desires and deeper lasting happiness.

The Purpose of Marriage: Happiness or Holiness? A parishioner heard me preach on Ephesians 5, where Paul says that the purpose of marriage is to “sanctify” us. She said, “I thought the whole point of marriage was to be happy! You make it sound like a lot of work.” She was right—marriage is a lot of work—but she was wrong to pit that against happiness, and here is why... When Jesus’s love, wisdom, and greatness are formed in us, each with our own unique gifts and callings, we become our “true selves,” the persons we were created to be... And the very best human friendship possible for that adventure is with the lover-friend who is your spouse. Does this mean “marriage is not about being happy; it’s about being holy”? Yes and no. As we have seen, that is too stark a contrast. If you understand what holiness is, you come to see that real happiness is on the far side of holiness, not on the near side. Holiness gives us new desires and brings old desires into line with one another. So if we want to be happy in marriage, we will accept that marriage is designed to make us holy. - Tim Keller

HOW TO FIGHT FOR JOY IN GOD THROUGH MARRIAGE 4)Seek your joy IN THE JOY OF YOUR SPOUSE as you journey toward the same goal. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church. Ephesians 5:28-29  Marriage, like our union with Christ, is a journey of “oneness” with our spouse in what life offers—in good and bad.  In this journey, we are to see our spouse’s joy as our joy and seek our joy by fulfilling the joy of our spouse.  Therefore, marriage reflects the gospel of Christ—a joyful discovery of our own brokenness and God’s unlimited grace through our spouse!

THREE PRACTICAL QUESTIONS FOR OUR EVERYDAY LIFE 1.What do I need to change in my view or attitude toward marriage in light of God’s design? 2.In what ways can I embrace more fully my responsibility as husband or wife? Or in my future marital role? [For singles] 3.What would it mean to pursue sanctification as the primary purpose of my marriage? What is my first step?