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What you should know about BULLYING.

Three Critical components: “A person is being bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons.” Olweus, 1991 Three Critical components: Intentional Repetition Power Differential Telling children to Stand Up to Bullies, could be very dangerous! They need an adults help!

Bullying is about Power… (Vaillancourt, Hymel & McDougall, 2003) Power comes in many forms… Physical (larger, older) Numbers (mobbing, scapegoating) Social (more popular, more competent) Over time, the power imbalance between the bully and victim becomes established Children who are victimized are powerless to stop the bullying on their own. It was once thought that it was children with low self-esteem who bullied, but on the contrary, most bullies are reported to have a high level of social intelligence and use bullying as a strategy to maintain their status and power!

Involvement in Bully – Victim Incidents 8-10% - Victims 8-12% - Bullies 1-5% - Bully-victims 70-80% - Witnesses Studies show that even the witnesses are at risk for depression and other emotional upset due to witnessing violent acts.

Bullying Takes Many Forms Physical Bullying – Pushing, Spitting, shoving, hitting, kicking, threatening with a weapon, defacing property, stealing. Verbal Bullying – Mocking, teasing, name calling, dirty looks, intimidation phone calls, racist, sexist, homophobic taunts, verbal threats, coercion, extortion. Social Bullying – Gossiping, setting up for embarrassment, spreading rumors, exclusion from group, inciting hatred, racist, sexist, homophobic alienation, setting other up to take the blame, public humiliation Cyber Bullying – Using email, internet or text

Bullying as an underground activity Over 400 episodes of bullying Craig and Pepler: Bullying as an underground activity 52 hours of videotape from 2 schools Over 400 episodes of bullying On average, once every 7 minutes on playground Once every 15-20 minutes in classroom Average bullying episode=37 seconds, but one lasted 37 minutes Teachers intervened once in every 25 incidents (4 % of the time) Peers were present about 80-85% of the episodes, but intervened on behalf of the victim only 11% of the time.

Long Term Consequences Victimization Academic Difficulties School truancy/avoidance Increased absenteeism Somatic complaints (e.g., headaches, stomachaches) Stress-related illness, physical health problems Low self-esteem Depression Social withdrawal/isolation Social anxiety, loneliness Suicide Aggressive behaviour

Long Term Consequences cont. Bullying Externalizing problems Antisocial problem behavior Mental health problems Dating aggression Sexual harassment Arrests for child/spousal abuse Depression Anxiety Suicide Delinquency and criminality Moral disengagement

WHY? Three possibilities Psychopathology Part of growing up Human nature

Characteristics of Bullies and Victims (up) externalizing problems & hyperactivity (e.g., Khatri et al., Kumpulainen et al. 1999) (up )antisocial & phsically aggressive behavior (e.g., Craig, 1998) (down) empathy (e.g., Espelage & Mebane in press; Funke 2003; Roberts & Morotti, 2000; Olweus 1993, 1997) (down) anxiety (e.g., Craig, 1998; Owleus, 1993) Victims (up) depression & anxiety (e.g., Boivin et al., 2001, Craig, 1998; Olweus, 1993,1997; Sourander et al., 2000)

Psychosocial adjustment and Bullying Generally, the psychosocial adjustment of bullies, victims and bully-victims tends to be poorer than those not involved in bullying (Nansel et al., 2001) Bullying has been associated with Lower extraversion scores, higher neuroticism and psychoticism scores (Mynard & Joseph, 1997) Parent ratings of conduct disorder, oppositional defiant disorder, attentions-deficit disorder and depressive disorder for about half of the bullies (Coolidge, DenBoar & Segal, 2004)

Why do people bully? Child psychopathy The gradual social development of our children The Nature of human beings

Moral Disengagement

Student Attitudes and Beliefs Perceptions of Victims Some kids get bullied because the deserve it. Most students who get bullied bring it on themselves If certain kids didn’t whine or give in so easily, they wouldn’t get bullied so much. Victims should fight back. If you refuse to fight, other kids will think you’re a loser. Justifying Bullying Sometimes it’s okay to bully other people. Bullying gets grudges out in the open. Getting bullied helps make people tougher. Some kids need to be picked on just to teach them a lesson. 40-71% yes 37-58% yes 58-72% yes 66-70% yes 55-63% yes 16-31% yes 65-72% yes 29-44% yes 36-51% yes

Causes and Contributing Factors to Bullying Child Characteristics Family Characteristics School Policies & Practices Media (TV & Video Games) Peer Group Contributions Societal and Cultural Norms

WHAT CAN PARENTS DO?

The Role of PARENTS If you suspect that your child is a bully or a victim…. SERIOUSLY CONSIDER THE POSSIBILITY AND SO SOMETHING If you see children harassing one another inappropriately… DO SOMETHING NONINTERVENTION (Doing nothing) is viewed by children as condoning behaviour!

And don’t ever let me catch you bullying again you stupid idiot! The Role of Parents And don’t ever let me catch you bullying again you stupid idiot! Bullying is wrong!!! Serious Self-reflection Do we model bullying for our children?

What parents can do for children who bully Do NOT call your child a bully (if they believe they are a bully, they’ll act like one) but acknowledge when their behavior is considered bullying. Remember that your child is learning about social behavior and how to get along with others from you as well as form others. Consider bullying as a teaching moment rather than just a discipline problem and use teaching opportunities effectively. If your child is accused of bullying at school, consider the possibility seriously before becoming defensive (Could it be true?) Try to work with school staff to address the issue collaboratively, with consistent messages from both sides. Find alternatives to detentions/suspensions (Works the first time or not at all.)

What parents can do for children who bully Direct and immediate, formative consequences are necessary, but what kind? Provide clear message that what they are doing is bullying and is unacceptable Quick, immediate, no-nonsense talks work better than long lectures Build awareness skills, empathy, and insights Inductive, other-centered discipline to increase empathy Provide youth with alternatives to bullying Teach your child appropriate (non aggressive) ways to get what he/she wants Re-channel bulling behavior into socially appropriate Leadership and responsibility Make students responsible and accountable for their behavior Community service Restituation self-discipline Restorative justice practices

If the problem persists… despite socialization efforts… Consider the possibility that the bullying may be part of a larger problem with conduct, antisocial behavior and/or ADHD, even depression… Get professional help – the earlier the better.

Do you suspect that your child is being victimized? They may not tell you directly. Possible warning signs: Avoids recess/playground before, during and/or after school Arrives to school late or just at starting bell Appears to be alone most of the time at school Frequent injuries or frequent damage to clothes or property Numerous lost belongings Sleeping all the time (or not at all) Somatic complaints (headaches, stomach aches, etc.)

What parents can do for children who are victimized Support your child and validate his/her feelings (victimized children often blame themselves for their treatment) Plan regular communication with your child to monitor events on an ongoing basis Teach/Model assertiveness (not aggression) example:Safeteen (www.safeteen.ca) Consider the possibility that your child is a “Provocative victim” and teach alternative behaviors Document incidents, try to get the whole story If possible, work with the school (talk to teachers, counselors, youth workers, administrators) Identify an adult at school who can support your child and who the child can trust Provide a “safe haven” for your child during recess/lunch periods and bus trips

What parents can do for children who are victimized If you don’t get results at the school level, don’t give up, contact the assistant superintendent, the superintendent, the school board If talking directly with parents of perpetrators, be objective and try to consider the whole picture Contact your parent association/access community support If child was physically attacked, contact police/school liaison officer If school interventions fail, consider switching schools.

Be Prepared Your child may not want your help A child who has been victimized may still seek affiliation with perpetrators despite their treatment of him/her

Useful Websites Collaborative for Academic and Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL) www.casel.org Promoting Relationships and Eliminating Violence Network (PREVNet) www.prevnet.ca Blueprints www.colorado.edu/cspv/blueprints Centre for Social and Emotional Education www.csee.net Developmental Studies Center (Caring School Communities Project) www.devstu.org Teach Safe Schools www.teachsafeschools.org Educators for Social Responsibility (ESR) http://www.esrnational.org/home.htm

In conclusion, there is no conclusion to what children who are bullied live with. They take it home with them at night. It lives inside them and eats away at them. It never ends. So neither should our struggle to end it. Sarah, age 17

Information provided by: Shelley Hymel Faculty of Education University of British Columbia