Introduction w Form teams of two w Specially choose people who you don’t know much w Spend 5 min with each other w The aim to find out what kind of person he or she is? w After five minutes we will introduce each other w Please do not collect / present any factual data – what she studies, where she works, how many sibling etc …. All this is not important – we want to know the kind of person he or she is – focus only on that

1.What is self esteem 2.Why do we need high self esteem 3.What about your own self esteem? 4.On what basis have you assessed your own self esteem Self Esteem

List at least 2-3 people in each Respect and Love Respect, No Love Love, No Respect No Love, No Respect Be Aware of why you are doing so.

Respect v/s Love Is it possible to have respect and not love and is it possible to have love and not respect

Lets Play Catch!! Choose a partner and play: 1. Catch the ball. 2. Catch the Scissors. 3. Catch the Glass. Rate confidence and self esteem before each.

Self Confidence v/s Self Esteem Is it possible to have High confidence with low self-esteem and Low confidence with high self-esteem

How I see myself How I think, others see me How I would like others to see me Me – See - Self

Who are you??

Self esteem Do we really need to have an image? Caring Uncaring Patient Impatient Responsible Irresponsible Smart Foolish Million Images Image

How self esteem is constructed w No quick tricks w Work on fundamental way in which a child feels, thinks, perceives about himself or herself with respect to life and to the world w What goes in often comes out – hence we play an important role to feed the plant

So, how in different ways we get children to make images? Negative Images: w Focus on failures w Lousy Labeling w Highlighting weaknesses w Comparing Positive Images: w Praise w Lovely labeling w Focus on success / Expectation w Comparison

SKIP TO MY LOO, MY DARLIN’!! Goal : Get your entire team to the other side. Level 1 : Jump one at a time. If you miss, you come back and do. Level 2 : Jump in pairs. If one partner misses, you repeat again. Level 3 : Jump one at a time while humming. Even if one misses, entire group repeats again. Level 4 : Jump in pairs shouting KUKABURAAAA together. If not, start again.

Do you put any label? Any label you put on Yourself Others in family Others around you – colleague, maid, For each write how it helps you / others and how it may not help you / others

The teacher asked her class what each wanted to become when they grew up. A chorus of responses came from all over the room. A football player," "A doctor," "An astronaut," "The president," "A fireman," "A teacher," Everyone that is, except Tommy. The teacher noticed he was sitting there quiet and still. So she said to him, "Tommy, what do you want to be when you grow up?" "Possible" Tommy replied. "Possible?" asked the teacher. "Yes," Tommy said. "My mom is always telling me I'm impossible. So when I get to be big, I want to be possible."

What you think about your child And what you say to your child affects his or her view about himself or herself Self fulfilling Prophesy

Labelling? w A person is neither good nor bad; action could be. w Hence why label the person w But labeling the behavior or action shows - what is acceptable and what is not: eg: I see, you have kept your things back responsibly – communicates to the child what is “responsible”

Dig For Gold

What do we focus on? w You have given a task to two children – child A and child B. w You come back after some time and see that Child A is doing the work while child B is loitering w To whom and what will your response be? w What do you in this situation?

1. Take a moment to observe your five fingers. 2. What do you think about each finger – collect your thoughts 3. Now draw a dot in the center of your palm. 4. Try to touch the dot with each finger, one by one. 5. Try this with the others hand. 6. Draw a dot in any other part of your palm. 7. Try with another position 8. Explore As you explore be aware of your thoughts and feelings

How are we comparing? How have you compared yourself with anybody in this group. Compared on the basis of w Physical (Appearance) - looks, figure, dress sense, etc w Mental – the kind of thoughts, experiences, strategies w Expression – the way somebody talks w Emotional – the ways somebody manages his or her emotions w Overall as a parent How have you compared your child or spouse or mother in law or sibling or anybody in your family, even your whole family with anybody w How has this comparison helped / not helped? w What made you compare?

w How you were compared as a child w With whom, Why, and how you compare yourself now? w What it does when you compare your children or spouse or parents with others? w How will it help if you give up comparison? w What will you do when others compare you? Comparison

SO WHAT ? w NO two children are same w We go by what we can SEE – what is hidden we cannot value w Value of a child lies in what is inside. w A lot is driven by progress, performance – what we can see. w A lot is said about what we cannot see

The most irrelevant information to a parent is how their son or daughter compares with someone else’s son or daughter He is He, not me or she

How are we Accepting? AcceptedNot Accepted Physical Abilities Strengths & characteristics Economic / Financial Social For each write advantages and disadvantages of accepting and of not accepting/ How has each affected your life.

Compliments and criticisms have little to do with the listener; and more likely reflect the values and beliefs of the speaker. Acceptance

Till when am I a child? 0 yrs 75 yrs

Parting thoughts  I am not what I or others think  My value is intrinsic  What i do is not a reflection of my potential  I do not need to carry any baggage about me  I do not need to add to others baggage Thank you