Managing Change and Transition Rita Burgett (800)

Key Points 1. Define Objective Do I want to make a change? Do I want to make a change? Do I want to deal with transition as a result of a recent change? Do I want to deal with transition as a result of a recent change? 2. Understand that change is an event. Transition is the process of adjusting to – and accepting - what is different in my life as a result of the change. Whether forced or chosen, change triggers a time of transition Transition sucks! It is the best of time and worst of times Transition sucks! It is the best of time and worst of times Transition is a rollercoaster of excitement, fear, confusion, uncertainity, anger, losses, gains, planning, re-planning, and ultimately growth that prepares us for the next level of life. Transition is a rollercoaster of excitement, fear, confusion, uncertainity, anger, losses, gains, planning, re-planning, and ultimately growth that prepares us for the next level of life. 3. There are always unexpected impacts from change One change leads to other changes. It’s not possible to make a change in one area of your life and not have it affect other areas of your life One change leads to other changes. It’s not possible to make a change in one area of your life and not have it affect other areas of your life Change changes what we imagined our future would be. We all have a “vision” of what we think our life will be like – once we “get there.” Change changes what we imagined our future would be. We all have a “vision” of what we think our life will be like – once we “get there.” Successful change requires a period of adjustment to the reality of the way life is. Successful change requires a period of adjustment to the reality of the way life is. There is no “there” there. Life is a continual process of changing and growing. There is no “there” there. Life is a continual process of changing and growing. Change may upset some people who are currently in your life but attracts new ones who will support you in becoming who you want to be. Change may upset some people who are currently in your life but attracts new ones who will support you in becoming who you want to be. Every change – whether chosen or forced – results in losses and gains Every change – whether chosen or forced – results in losses and gains

4.Chosen Change: If I chose this change, I may be: Feeling a combination of excitement, fear, and/or regretFeeling a combination of excitement, fear, and/or regret Thinking “Oh, my God! What have I done? What have I lost? Why did I ever think I could do this? This is not what I expected?Thinking “Oh, my God! What have I done? What have I lost? Why did I ever think I could do this? This is not what I expected? Wondering why everyone in my life isn’t as excited as I am. “How dare them not be happy for me.” “How dare them not encourage me – or at least ask how I’m doing.”Wondering why everyone in my life isn’t as excited as I am. “How dare them not be happy for me.” “How dare them not encourage me – or at least ask how I’m doing.” 5.Forced Change Is the change that I’m having to deal with the result of a decision someone else made that was beyond my control – but I have to live with the consequences? Is the change that I’m having to deal with the result of a decision someone else made that was beyond my control – but I have to live with the consequences? If so, expect to feel anger, blame, resentment, and potentially fall victim to a “victim mentality” that will keep you stuck in the past. If so, expect to feel anger, blame, resentment, and potentially fall victim to a “victim mentality” that will keep you stuck in the past. If you get stuck in this you’ll have no energy to see the opportunities in the present or create a future that is better suited to you. “Poor Pitiful Me! How could they/he/she/ do this to me? After all I did for him/her/them!” If you get stuck in this you’ll have no energy to see the opportunities in the present or create a future that is better suited to you. “Poor Pitiful Me! How could they/he/she/ do this to me? After all I did for him/her/them!” They probably did you a favor. You’ll eventually thank them They probably did you a favor. You’ll eventually thank them

6. Getting Unstuck: If you’re wanting a different life/outcome/result but can’t seem to get it going….. Ask yourself if you’re stuck because you don’t want to move forward without a guarantee that you will have a successful outcome if you let go of what you have and move toward what could be. Ask yourself if you’re stuck because you don’t want to move forward without a guarantee that you will have a successful outcome if you let go of what you have and move toward what could be.  Forget it! Decide what you’re willing to risk losing and move forward within those parameters. Have pre-established checkpoints where you evaluate where you are, what you’ve accomplished, and ask yourself – “if this really what I want to do?” “Do I want it bad enough to continue taking this risk? Have pre-established checkpoints where you evaluate where you are, what you’ve accomplished, and ask yourself – “if this really what I want to do?” “Do I want it bad enough to continue taking this risk? Are you looking for someone to do it for you ---- or at least get it started? Are you looking for someone to do it for you ---- or at least get it started?  That would be nice --- but it is highly unlikely unless they see some benefit to helping you achieve what you want.  Support systems are nice. You may have to look for one beyond your current circle of support. Why? Because, your current circle of support may be threatened by the future you imagine for yourself and be vested in keeping you where you are.  We don’t all make changes in our life at the same pace or share the same vision for the future. The relationships you currently have are based on where you are ---- not where you want to be.  Think about who you know that is currently living the life you want to live. They won’t be threatened by what you want. You will probably need to establish a new support system. Remember: Change – changes everything. That includes relationships.

Do you truly believe you deserve the outcome you are striving to achieve and/or have the ability to pull it off? Do you truly believe you deserve the outcome you are striving to achieve and/or have the ability to pull it off?  You probably won’t until you’re finally “there.” The only requirement is that you have to have enough confidence to take the first step. Then, you have to have enough confidence to take the second step – and so on. Eventually, you’ll find yourself “there, “ and be truly amazed – and proud – of what you were actually able to accomplish.  What’s important to remember is that the first step begins with you. You have an “idea” a “vision” but nothing changes until you change the behavior that will lead to the realization of the new idea and/or new vision. What can you do today that will get you started on that path? More importantly --- what will you do today? 7. Requirements for Successful Change:  Vision: Do I know what I want the future --- after I have achieved this change --- to look like?  Resources: Do I have the financial and emotional/relationship support I need to get started?  Faith: Is my belief stronger that I will be able to accomplish this ---- or that I won’t be able to accomplish this. What is the “Plan B” that I need to have in place to allow myself to move forward?  Resistance Responsiveness: The ability and willingness to respond to resistance from those important people in your life who don’t share your vision for the future or are amazed and shocked that you would even consider doing something other than what you’ve always done.

 Admit that you may be keeping yourself “stuck” and unable to move forward: The thinking (what you say to yourself repeatedly) that may be keeping you stuck, feeling frustrated, unable to move forward, and a “pain-in-the-butt” to everyone in your life you keep complaining to….. The thinking (what you say to yourself repeatedly) that may be keeping you stuck, feeling frustrated, unable to move forward, and a “pain-in-the-butt” to everyone in your life you keep complaining to….. “If Only …..” Replace with “what is …is”“If Only …..” Replace with “what is …is” “Yes But ….” Replace with “yes and …”“Yes But ….” Replace with “yes and …” “What if….” Replace with “so, what if – this is what I can do.”“What if….” Replace with “so, what if – this is what I can do.” Something to think about…..   What would make me so proud of myself to have accomplished in this lifetime?   What would I have been so disappointed to have settled for?   Give yourself credit for what you’ve accomplished. You’re not where you were.   Believe in yourself enough to move forward to the next level You’re not where you can be.   When a door of opportunity is opened for you ---- please walk through it. “Sometimes we focus so much on the door that’s been closed, we fail to see the door that’s been opened to us.” - Helen Keller “Some people see things as they are and ask “why?” “I see things that never were and ask --- “why not??” - Robert Kennedy