Getting on and falling out Identify opportunities and possible challenges in using the material across the school Discuss ideas as to how progress and impact may be measured

Getting on and falling out key strands Friendship Working together in groups Anger and its management Conflict and its management

Getting on and falling out themes Week 1: Working cooperatively to help a group Week 2: Being a really good friend Week 3: Keeping calm and overcoming feelings of anger Week 4: Solving a difficult problem with a friend

…words words words…. anger argument conflict friendship token

What does it mean? anger argument trouble, vexation, also, physical pain or smart of a sore, strong passion or emotion of displeasure or antagonism, excited by a real or supposed injury or insult to one's self or others, or by the intent to do such injury, to excite to anger, to enrage, to provoke argument proof, evidence, a reason or reasons offered in proof, to induce belief, or convince the mind, reasoning expressed in words, as, an argument about, concerning, or regarding a proposition, for or in favour of it, or against it, the subject matter of a discourse, writing, or artistic representation, theme or topic, also, an abstract or summary, as of the contents of a book, chapter, poem

What does it mean? conflict friendship strike or dash together, to meet in violent collision, to collide, to contend, to engage in strife or opposition, to struggle, to be in opposition, to be contradictory friendship attachment, to a person, or between persons, affection arising from mutual esteem and good will, friendliness, amity, good will. kindly aid, help, assistance, aptness to unite, conformity, affinity, harmony, correspondence

What does it mean? token pact something intended or supposed to represent or indicate another thing or an event, a sign, a symbol, something by which the friendship of another person is to be kept in mind, a memento, a souvenir, something given or shown as a symbol or guarantee of authority or right, a sign of authenticity, of power, good faith pact an agreement, a league, a compact, a covenant http://www.dictionary.net/

“Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” What do you think?

What is friendship? Real friendship lasts through good times and bad times. Friendship is an in-depth relationship. Friendship is comfortable and relaxed. Friendship requires meeting the needs of both friends.

Important / not important What would a friendship ‘quality mark’ look like?

“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him a friend.” Abraham Lincoln

Working together - checklist Which skills on the checklist are particularly important for your children to develop? How could you use this tool in your classroom / school? What changes would you make to ensure that this checklist was useful?

Activity think of a child … parent … Fireworks match – the trigger fuse – the build up (can vary in length) firework – packed with dynamite Activity think of a child … parent … What appears to be their trigger? What often causes the build up? Is there anyone thing that causes the explosion?

Firework display It is hard to think sensibly or reasonably It is hard to see someone else’s point of view It is hard to understand what people are saying (you may not even hear them) It is hard to consider the consequences of what you do Q: Do you have the water standing by? Have you equipped them with calming down strategies?

“Hotting up …. Cooling down” Activity In pairs think of as many ways as you can to make conflict worse – in the playground or in the staffroom… Now think of ways you could reduce conflict or respond to the suggestions you made in the previous activity

Ready… Steady… Ready Steady Are you ready to think together? How are you feeling and why? Are you calm? Steady take it in turns to talk it through listen without interrupting say what has happened, how you feel and why say what you would like to happen think of all the different things you could do to help you both feel OK agree something that you both feel OK about

Go! try out your idea and replay in slow motion think about how you did it check if things are OK What went well? What would you change next time? What did you learn?

Staffroom activity – groups of 4 number the participants from 2 to 5 (or whatever the number in the group, leave 1 and the highest number on the die) participants should take it in turns to throw a die the person rolling the die gives a compliment to the person with the same number to the one the die lands on if the die lands on number 6 (highest number), everyone in the group pays the ‘roller’ a compliment the participant receiving the compliment should smile and say ‘thank you’

challenge if you throw your number: say something good about your self if you throw 1: say something good about everyone else if you throw 6: everyone says something good about you

Activity Arranged in a circle & pass the moose: Red cooperation Activity Arranged in a circle & pass the moose: I like… ‘x’ likes … I sometimes feel lonely when… When I play with a friend I feel …

Song time… If you're friendly and you know it, clap your hands. If you're friendly and you know it, and you really want to show it, If you're friendly and you know it, clap your hands!

Red Squeak & Snappy Could be adapted for older pupils – view points … If Snappy was re-telling the story what would s/he say? If Squeak was re-telling the story what would s/he say?

Red What do you think are the most important parts of being a friend? How can we make sure our cross or angry feelings don’t hurt other people?

"The only way to have a friend is to be one." www.cyberparent.com But no one can form a friendship until he/she realises that the basis of being friends is meeting the needs of the other person. "The only way to have a friend is to be one." Ralph Waldo Emerson

Blue What am I like? absolutely me ………………….definitely not me I eat anything I’m untidy I like PE I like drawing I like cooking

"A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked." Bernard Meltzer

Blue Different points of view Activity In 3s Role play card: blue What are we like as listeners?

Silver Joint drawing Each person with a different colour pen … if the pen touches someone else’s pen, to say hello to that person Story Recognise how someone is feeling (feeling fans)

Getting on and falling out Theme overview Activity Take a strand across each age group (red, blue, yellow or green): identify what you would observe to show that children have demonstrated this learning. Consider where opportunities may be built into the curriculum and across the whole school day to enable children to demonstrate their learning.

Getting on and falling out Theme overview Feedback Q: Which areas are you strongest in promoting opportunities for development, which areas are less well developed?

Bean bags Activity Circle time When I help other people I feel ... Walk around the room – beanbag on head Circle time When I help other people I feel ... When other people help me I feel ... My friends are special to me because ... I think it is unfair when ... I would like ...

Yellow cooperation Activity Jigsaws Q: What makes you angry? Q: What is a win-win situation? Q: Is there a difference between consensus and compromise?

Best friends Would a best friend Eat your last sweet Talk about you behind your back Have a party and not ask you Mine did. Would a best friend Borrow your bike without telling you Deliberately forget your birthday Avoid you whenever possible Mine did. Bernard Young © Bernard Young. Reprinted by kind permission of the author. Would a best friend Turn up on your bike Give you a whole packet of your favourite sweets Look you in the eye Mine did.

Best friends … Would a best friend say Sorry I talked about you behind your back Sorry I had a party and didn’t invite you Sorry I deliberately forgot your birthday I thought you’d fallen out with me Mine did. And would a best friend say, simply, Never mind That’s OK I did. Bernard Young © Bernard Young. Reprinted by kind permission of the author.

Silver KS2 What is happening in the playground? Is it wrong to fall out with other people? Do you have to be everyone’s friend? How do you feel when you fall out with a best friend? Important / not important

Exemplar lesson plans yellow: keeping warm p32

The tyres on my bike are flat, The sky is grouchy gray. At least it sure feels like that Since Hanna moved away. Chocolate ice cream tastes like prunes, December’s come to stay. They’ve taken back the Mays and Junes Flowers smell like halibut. Velvet feels like hay. Every handsome dog’s a mutt Nothing’s fun to laugh about. Nothing’s fun to play. They call me, but I won’t come out Judith Viorst

Green feeling lines Activity Draw a line to represent the feeling you have been given It must start on one side of the paper and finish on the other It can be any colour, thickness or shape Q: What are the similarities and differences between the lines?

Green ‘levels of friendship’ / circle of friends Q: What are the features of the friends at each different level Why do some children struggle with the different levels? also a family activity

Green reflection & enquiry Why do most people have friends? What would the world be like if there were no friends? Why are there leaders? What would the world be like if there were no leaders? If lots of people think something, does it mean they are right? Is it better to follow or to lead? How do we decide what to do?

Self assessment ladder washing line working together wall

Family SEAL Scenarios What advice would you give?

www.indianchild.com Friends smile at you. They like your face. They want to be with you Any old place. Friends have fun with you. Friends share They’re glad when you’re happy--- When you’re sad, they care. If you’re a friend Then you care, too. That’s why your friends Are glad you’re you!!!

Family SEAL Game

Family SEAL – All Stars

National Strategy site Email seal@medway.gov.uk Forums http://www.medway.gov.uk/schoolforums/ National Strategy site http://www.bandapilot.org.uk/