©Telephone Doctor, Inc. |www.telephonedoctor.com

You’re asked to compromise your ethics Has this happened to you? You’re asked to compromise your ethics What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You’re asked to compromise your ethics Consider this when You’re asked to compromise your ethics What phrases can you use in this kind of situation? How can you say “no” to an unethical suggestion?

You’re asked to compromise your ethics What to say when You’re asked to compromise your ethics Buy thinking time Have a few phrases at your disposal Think If a jury saw this – If a person I respect saw this – If I saw someone else do this – Be prepared to say “no”

A co-worker is negative Has this happened to you? A co-worker is negative What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

A co-worker is negative Consider this when A co-worker is negative Have you ever “gone along” with negative comments even though you didn’t share the negative opinion?

A co-worker is negative What to say when A co-worker is negative Isolate it By showing that you don’t share the negative attitude. Remove the “reward” for negativity

You have a personality clash with a Has this happened to you? You have a personality clash with a co-worker What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You have a personality clash with a Consider this when You have a personality clash with a co-worker Identify a person you don’t like. Does this person have friends? Why is this? What kind of approach from someone you don’t like might win you over?

You have a personality clash with a What to say when You have a personality clash with a co-worker Set aside your dislike of the person Take the responsibility on yourself Take the initiative. Admit that you are at least partially at fault.

Someone resists change Has this happened to you? Someone resists change What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

Someone resists change Consider this when Someone resists change Do you know someone who dislikes all change? Think of a change that you don’t like. What is it about the change that you don’t like?

Someone resists change What to say when Someone resists change Find out what is going on in their head by asking questions. Either they have a valid argument against it or they don’t understand it. Change must be fair and clear.

Someone disagrees with you Has this happened to you? Someone disagrees with you What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

Someone disagrees with you Consider this when Someone disagrees with you Have you ever disagreed with someone knowing full well that the other person was right? When have you most feared someone questioning your point of view?

Someone disagrees with you What to say when Someone disagrees with you Disagreement is an opportunity Ask the other person to explain his or her point of view Ask questions until you understand their point of view. Be open to the possibility that they may be partially or wholly right.

Your boss doesn’t notice your contributions Has this happened to you? Your boss doesn’t notice your contributions What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

Your boss doesn’t notice your contributions Consider this when Your boss doesn’t notice your contributions Have you ever worked hard on something only to find out that the boss does not care about that but does care about something else you have not done? When was the last time you had a serious discussion with your boss about priorities?

Your boss doesn’t notice your contributions What to say when Your boss doesn’t notice your contributions Ask the boss if you are working in the way he or she expects Make sure that you are both working with the same priorities.

It’s someone else’s fault Has this happened to you? It’s someone else’s fault What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

It’s someone else’s fault Consider this when It’s someone else’s fault Have you ever gotten the blame for something that wasn’t your fault? Were you successful in getting the blame transferred to the rightful owner? Have you ever felt upset over a perceived injustice at work? Has this benefited you or made you feel better?

It’s someone else’s fault What to say when It’s someone else’s fault Don’t waste time and effort on shifting the blame It doesn’t solve anything. It makes you feel badly. Forget it, move on and focus on fixing the problem. People rarely remember who caused a problem but they definitely remember who fixed it.

You want to offer praise Has this happened to you? You want to offer praise What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You want to offer praise Consider this when You want to offer praise What is the point of praise? Why do we need it? What’s in it for us? When has receiving praise made you feel good? When has it not?

You want to offer praise What to say when You want to offer praise Give praise to reinforce, reward and encourage desirable behavior. Give praise promptly. Be precise.

You see an opportunity to do things better Has this happened to you? You see an opportunity to do things better What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You see an opportunity to do things better Consider this when You see an opportunity to do things better Have you ever had an idea rejected? How did you present the idea?

You see an opportunity to do things better What to say when You see an opportunity to do things better Make an appointment to discuss the new idea. Prepare your idea carefully. Ask for a slow decision. Give the boss time to think. Treat objection as an opportunity to refine and improve the idea.

Someone criticizes you Has this happened to you? Someone criticizes you What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

Someone criticizes you Consider this when Someone criticizes you What can you say when criticized that will defuse a potentially emotional situation? What questions could you use to clarify another person’s criticism?

Someone criticizes you What to say when Someone criticizes you Treat criticism as an opportunity. Get emotion out of the way. Discuss criticism. Ask questions until you understand the other person’s point of view.

A team member is uncooperative Has this happened to you? A team member is uncooperative What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

A team member is uncooperative Consider this when A team member is uncooperative Who in your past have you regarded as uncooperative? What exactly made you think this about them? How can you indicate to another person that you consider them to be uncooperative without causing an argument?

A team member is uncooperative What to say when A team member is uncooperative Clarify what you actually mean when you say that they are uncooperative. Explain how it looks to you. Listen to what the other person has to say in return.

You need help with your work Has this happened to you? You need help with your work What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You need help with your work Consider this when You need help with your work Have you ever been interrupted by someone asking for help at an inconvenient time? How did you respond?

You need help with your work What to say when You need help with your work Ask yourself whether you really need help. Might the internet, a help screen or a procedure manual help? Choose your time carefully. Choose a time that will disrupt their work as little as possible. Help is a two-way street. Be willing to give help.

You need to break a commitment Has this happened to you? You need to break a commitment What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You need to break a commitment Consider this when You need to break a commitment Has someone senior to yourself ever asked you to do something that caused you to break a commitment? Did you break the commitment? Did you talk to your senior about it?

You need to break a commitment What to say when You need to break a commitment Break a commitment in a way that shows that: You are sorry. You understand the effect that this has. You are willing to put in extra effort to repair the damage.

Someone breaks a commitment Has this happened to you? Someone breaks a commitment What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

Someone breaks a commitment Consider this when Someone breaks a commitment Has a co-worker ever broken a commitment to you? What effect did it have on your work?

Someone breaks a commitment What to say when Someone breaks a commitment Explain courteously and assertively, that the individual has had an adverse effect on you. Chances are they will not break future commitments.

You need to persuade a colleague to do something differently Has this happened to you? You need to persuade a colleague to do something differently What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You need to persuade a colleague to do something differently Consider this when You need to persuade a colleague to do something differently Have you ever failed to persuade someone to do something? Why didn’t you succeed? What phrases could you use to persuade a person who has reacted with hostility to at least listen to what you have to say?

You need to persuade a colleague to do something differently What to say when You need to persuade a colleague to do something differently There are three elements of successful persuasion: Desirability – show the other person why doing what you suggest is desirable. Self-interest – show them why they might be better off as a result. Appreciation – express your gratitude.

You’re asked to host a meeting Has this happened to you? You’re asked to host a meeting What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You’re asked to host a meeting Consider this when You’re asked to host a meeting What do you fear most about being asked to host a meeting? What are some typical meeting outcomes?

You’re asked to host a meeting What to say when You’re asked to host a meeting Don’t talk too much. Prepare a series of questions that will involve participants. Define the outcome you desire for your meeting. Ask yourself what is the one thing you want the participants to take away from the meeting then focus your questions towards that end.

A co-worker is too social Has this happened to you? A co-worker is too social What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

A co-worker is too social Consider this when A co-worker is too social What is an acceptable level of social chat and when does it become too much? What can you say to tell a co-worker in a friendly way that you are not ready to talk right now?

A co-worker is too social What to say when A co-worker is too social Begin with a friendly request to defer the conversation until a more suitable time. Make it sound like you have the problem. Explain that you are simply not able to talk and work at the same time. Talk to your boss.

There’s a new team member Has this happened to you? There’s a new team member What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

There’s a new team member Consider this when There’s a new team member Do you remember your first day at work in your organization? Was there anything complex or confusing? How would you explain a process or activity to a new team member?

There’s a new team member What to say when There’s a new team member Do not make negative comments. Talk with them not at them. Stick to the correct methods and procedures for doing things.

The boss keeps changing priorities Has this happened to you? The boss keeps changing priorities What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

The boss keeps changing priorities Consider this when The boss keeps changing priorities Have you ever felt busy but when you have written down the things you actually have to do, there really aren’t that many? What phrases can you use to advise the boss that there is a problem in completing all the tasks required in the time allotted?

The boss keeps changing priorities What to say when The boss keeps changing priorities Keep a “to-do” list. Change your mindset by using the phrase, “The Day Starts Here.” Do not feel that you have to do the tasks in the order in which they were given to you or in the order in which you have written them down. Discuss priorities with the boss.

A co-worker has an embarrassing problem Has this happened to you? A co-worker has an embarrassing problem What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

A co-worker has an embarrassing problem Consider this when A co-worker has an embarrassing problem Can you imagine an embarrassing problem a co-worker might have? What could you say to them without being offensive? How would you respond if a person flatly refused to discuss a problem?

A co-worker has an embarrassing problem What to say when A co-worker has an embarrassing problem Do not make accusations. Focus on the effect that the behavior is having on you. If the co-worker refuses to address the problem talk with your manager.

Has this happened to you? You are new on the job What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

Consider this when You are new on the job Do you remember your first few days on a new job? Did you understand everything? Did you make any mistakes?

What to say when You are new on the job There are only four things you need to know to do a job: What is to be done? How is it to be done? When is it to be done by? What resources can be used?

You are haunted by the ghost of a predecessor Has this happened to you? You are haunted by the ghost of a predecessor What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You are haunted by the ghost of a predecessor Consider this when You are haunted by the ghost of a predecessor Have you had the experience of making a change, only to find later that your predecessor had good reasons for doing things a different way? Have you made successful changes to your predecessor’s way of doing things? What kind of resistance did you encounter?

You are haunted by the ghost of a predecessor What to say when You are haunted by the ghost of a predecessor Always respect your predecessor. Find out why he or she did things in a particular way. Don’t be afraid to make changes. Be sure your changes are from a position of knowledge. Expect resistance from time to time. Take responsibility for the change.

There’s a conflict between team members Has this happened to you? There’s a conflict between team members What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

There’s a conflict between team members Consider this when There’s a conflict between team members What effect has past work conflicts had on the individuals, the manger or the team? How have you tried to deal with conflict? What phrases or questions would be effective when handling a situation in which parties in a conflict keep coming around to personal attacks and finger-pointing?

There’s a conflict between team members What to say when There’s a conflict between team members Don’t take sides. You need to take the emotion out of the situation. Turn the attention and energy away from the conflict and towards problem solving. Split the conversation into two parts: how to resolve the immediate problem and how to prevent it in the future.

People are wasting time online Has this happened to you? People are wasting time online What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

People are wasting time online Consider this when People are wasting time online What have you done to prevent wasted time online? Who tends to waste time online – hard working, highly productive members or less productive, less valued members? Is the individual who wastes time online motivated to achieve their work objectives?

People are wasting time online What to say when People are wasting time online Consider why people are wasting time online. Either they don’t have enough to do or they are not sufficiently committed to doing it. Ask the individual about their priorities. Set clear objectives and timetables.

You need to criticize a team member’s work Has this happened to you? You need to criticize a team member’s work What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You need to criticize a team member’s work Consider this when You need to criticize a team member’s work What effect has past attempts at criticizing an employee’s work had ? Describe a “problem” employee’s performance in vague, general terms. Now how can you tighten this up into a few specific examples? What phrases would be useful in conducting a calm, non-emotional discussion about a person’s performance?

You need to criticize a team member’s work What to say when You need to criticize a team member’s work Focus on the actual performance problem and not on the individual. Always criticize privately. The words you use are crucial. Say “This is how it seems to me.” When someone does bad at work: Don’t make it personal Prepare your facts Get agreement on the problem State the performance you want to see Be clear about what will happen if you don’t see it

You need to set objectives Has this happened to you? You need to set objectives What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You need to set objectives Consider this when You need to set objectives What needs to be in place if someone is to achieve their objectives? How would you take your corporate or team objectives and put them in context for a team member?

You need to set objectives What to say when You need to set objectives Use SMART objectives: Specific – you can say exactly what it is Measurable – there is an outcome that you can measure or observe. Achievable – it is possible for them to achieve it Relevant – it needs to contribute to the overall shared goals Time bounded – it can be achieved in a given time period

You need to conduct interviews or appraisals Has this happened to you? You need to conduct interviews or appraisals What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

You need to conduct interviews or appraisals Consider this when You need to conduct interviews or appraisals How can you overcome a candidate talking about what their team or organization achieved rather than what they did in person? What questions would be effective in discovering whether a candidate displays desired behaviors? What in-depth probing questions will ascertain precisely what a candidate did?

You need to conduct interviews or appraisals What to say when You need to conduct interviews or appraisals Be clear about what you are looking for. Decide what behaviors you need in your role. Then ask questions until you understand exactly what the candidate did and how it is relevant to what your are looking for. Use the Power of You. Don’t accept “we.” Always bring it back to “you.”

Has this happened to you? A team member is late What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

Consider this when A team member is late What non-threatening comments can be used to let someone who is late know that you noticed? What might you say to someone who continues to be late after you let them know that you have noticed?

What to say when A team member is late Say something the very first time it happens. Let them know that you noticed. If someone continues to be late after you’ve let them know that you noticed, you must take action. Be sensitive to the fact that the person may have an unavoidable reason for being late.

Someone is not doing what you need Has this happened to you? Someone is not doing what you need What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

Someone is not doing what you need Consider this when Someone is not doing what you need How might you begin a discussion about poor performance? What might you say to set the tone for the discussion? How would you clarify things in a situation where someone admits not knowing what he or she was supposed to do?

Someone is not doing what you need What to say when Someone is not doing what you need There are four possibilities as to why someone is not doing what you need: They can’t do it They won’t do it They don’t know they should do it They don’t know they are not doing it Find out which it is and deal with it. Say “What I expected to see was X” and “What I am actually seeing is Y.”

Has this happened to you? Generations clash What happened? How did you feel? How did you respond? How do you wish you had responded?

Consider this when Generations clash Has different working styles caused friction between younger and more established workers? What are the different working styles that are displayed by different generations? What approach have you already tried to solve this problem? How well did it work?

What to say when Generations clash You need to find a way to harness the capabilities of all generations. Focus on what people can achieve rather than their different working styles. Involve all generations in a shared vision of where you want to get to.