Keys to Intimacy in Marriage Gary R. Mauldin Ph.D. Holston Conference Pastoral Counseling Center

What is Intimacy? Involves the connection between emotions, behavior, thinking and spirituality The energy or passion of a relationship Willingness to be vulnerable and open to another human Most frequent arena for “disorders of desire”

Keys to Intimacy in your Relationship Honesty, Friendship and Trust Relationship is more important than sexuality Ask for what you would like in a relationship Give alternatives when asked to do something you would rather not do

Keys to Intimacy in your Relationship Learn to say “Yes” but not now instead of “NO” Know that there is a relationship between the male’s help in housework and desire How you say things may say more than what you say The message you sent may not have been the message received

Keys to Intimacy in your Relationship Some persons are more visual than relational We see so we want to do Others person are more relational than visual When everything is done they will want to do more

Keys to Intimacy in your Relationship Making Love Better involves the relationship between doing and pleasing your partner and your partner doing and pleasing you Problems develop when our expectation is always one sided No one is comfortable with someone they do not trust

Keys to Intimacy in your Relationship Learn to hug without grabbing Learn to tell your partner what you prefer Learn to calm yourself if you do not get all you want - Your relationship is more important Learn to appreciate each other without expecting from each other Learn to hug until relaxed

Keys to Intimacy in your Relationship Make time to be together Make a decision to become a better mate so that you will become a better parent Make love all day long - Our sexuality is more than a ten minute event. It begins in the morning and lasts a life time Make the connection between your spirituality and sexuality

In Other Words... Sexuality is not about a big “O” it is about a big “R” - RELATIONSHIP Passion and intimacy is the “Energy” of your relationship - Cultivate it and your marriage will thrive Who and what we are spirituality is always connected to our sexuality - We should be the same person in church and at home