Suggestions for Teaching Elaboration Session 3 Adapted by Kristine Gooding from : OSPI Instructional Support Materials for Writing  Specific Details vs. General Language  Elaboration within Sentences  Criteria for Assessment

SPECIFIC, CONCRETE DETAILS vs. GENERAL LANGUAGE

Words are like rocks. They come in all sizes. Small rocks represent small words. Big rocks represent big words. BUT...

Rocks are not as strong as CONCRETE. CONCRETE details are the specific, exact names of things. Using CONCRETE details will make your paper stronger, just like CONCRETE makes a building stronger. Concrete details are SPECIFIC.

Look for specific details… Yellow Mama When I was one year old we moved to a ranch about seven miles from the highway. After we arrived and were fairly well settled we found out there were some cats living on the ranch too. Yellow Mama was one of them. She was a yellow cat with a white bib. Yellow Mama was a gentle cat, in the years that followed she had at least five batches of kittens. She cared for them all, they usually looked like her, but not always. Sometimes she had six kittens in one batch!

Using Specific Details Rewrite the sentence on the left, using specific language. Write more than one sentence to elaborate. See student samples: Grade 3: RuderRuder Grade 5: Yellow MamaYellow Mama My pet _____.

Specific Details - your turn Add specific details to make the following paragraph more effective. My Trip to the River This story happened a few years ago, when I was smaller. It was a cold day, so my mom bundled up my brother and I. That was usual. My family (including me), and some of my mom's friends went on a trip to the river. Malcolm, my brother, was bored, so he decided to pick on me. You know how brothers are. We rowed in a boat. It was my first time riding in a boat. Malcolm was teasing me about the boat tipping. Then, my mom dropped the paddle. She got it back though. Malcolm reached out for my hat and missed. It fell in the river. He reached out to pick it up as it started to drift away. He reached a little further. Malcolm got ahold of it. Splash! He fell in. My brother started to panic. “Help I'm drowning!” he said. Everyone just stood there. One of my mom's friends told him to stand up if he wanted to live. He found out the water was only up to his knees. I laughed. He didn't think it was funny!

ELABORATION WITHIN SENTENCES

Elaboration within a Sentence Sentences can be expanded by adding elaboration. Sentences can be combined to provide elaboration. TELL ME MORE... PHRASES AND CLAUSES

Prepositional Phrases A prepositional phrase adds information and elaboration by answering questions a reader may have. Prepositional phrases are often used to answer questions about position, place, location, or time. (examples of prepositions - by, of, for, on, in, under, with, through, beside, before, after, during…)

Phrases and Elaboration Example: Jason, a fourth grader at Hawthorne Elementary, helps in the cafeteria. When does Jason help? What does he do to help? Jason, a fourth grader at Hawthorne Elementary, helps clean tables in the cafeteria everyday after he finishes his lunch.

Prepositional Phrases - your turn With a partner add prepositional phrases to the following sentences to answer questions a reader may have. Luis is a good student. Jamie won first prize! Julie was the best!

Clauses Add Elaboration. Definition A clause is a group of words that depends on a complete sentence and starts with an introductory word such as who, which, that, although, since, or because and has its own subject and verb.

Clauses Add Elaboration. Example: Mary had a large collection of Pokemon cards. Mary asked her friend Jamie for more Pokemon cards. Combined with a clause… Although Mary had plenty of Pokemon cards, she asked her friend Jamie to give her more.

Another Example Example: Sarah and Alla were late to lunch. It took longer than they expected to finish their math assignment. Combined with a clause… Because their math assignment took longer than they expected, Sarah and Alla were late to lunch.

Elaboration with Clauses - your turn Combine the following pairs of sentences using clauses: Max and Sam walked home from school. They decided to meet at the park later. Rose wanted to be in the school play. She practiced all of the lines for the part before the audition.

CRITERIA FOR ASSESSMENT

Scoring Guide for Elaboration Use this scoring guide to evaluate students’ writing for elaboration. See the Elaboration Scoring GuideElaboration Scoring Guide

Checklist for Elaboration Use this checklist as an alternative tool to evaluate writing. See the Elaboration ChecklistElaboration Checklist

After Using the Checklist If any bullet is marked NO this is the time to… Revise and add more and/or different types of elaboration. Consider carefully why you chose to leave something out.

Remember when students care about their audience, they do their best writing!

Feedback, please We welcome your comments. Please let us know if these lessons were helpful or how they could be improved by filling out the course evaluation form.

Contact Information This module was created by Kristine Gooding, Hawthorne Elementary