 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Emotional and Spiritual Intelligences: Keys To Enlightened Leadership By Cindy Wigglesworth President, Conscious Pursuits, Inc.

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved My Background 20 years at Exxon / Exxon Mobil in Human Resources –Worked as a Manager –Worked in Organizational Development –Change Manager on largest change project in Exxon Chemical History In private practice for 10 years –Consultant for The Methodist Hospital on a culture change project that landed them in Fortune 100 best employers –Conducted a Spiritual Intelligence at Work pilot at MD Anderson Cancer Center I teach Emotional and Spiritual Intelligences to help people… –Master their Minds to Master their Emotions, improve resilience, decrease stress –To become better leaders and co-workers –To lead more fulfilled lives

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Intelligence Defined Innate potential that is brought into form through practice Adeptness or appropriately reasoned behavior or choice

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Have you ever known anyone who was brilliant intellectually and really poor at relationship skills? Emotional Intelligence

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Multiple Intelligences Highly Developed Developed Under Developed IQ Moral EQ SQ PQ Cognitive

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved CPI Model of 4 Intelligences Inner wisdom guided by Compassion. Equanimity (inner and outer peace) Managing ourselves and our relationships well Math & Verbal intelligences (think SATs) Body awareness and skillful use

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Interconnection of EQ/SQ

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved “Emotional Competency Framework” Self- Awareness Self- Awareness Social Awareness Social Awareness Self- Management Self- Management Social Skills Emotional Self-Awareness Accurate Self-Assessment Self-Confidence Empathy Organizational Awareness Service Orientation Emotional Self-Control Transparency Adaptability Achievement Orientation Initiative Optimism Developing Others Inspirational Leadership Influence Communication Change Catalyst Conflict Management Teamwork & Collaboration Per Daniel Goleman and Richard Boyatzis 18 skills

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved How do I get EQ? Self Awareness Other Awareness Self ManagementRelationship Skills START HERE END HERE

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved The Human Brain Prefrontal Lobes The brain’s executive center: integrates information from all parts of the brain and makes decisions to act. Brain Stem The most primitive part of the brain. Is associated predominantly with automatic reflexes, as well as memory and learning. Thalamus Processes sensory messages (e.g., eyes and ears) then routes them mainly to the neocortex. Amygdala Triggers emotional responses. Typically gets signals from the neocortex, but a quicker and fuzzier signal comes directly from the thalamus. Can hijack the brain when it perceives an emergency. Neocortex The part of the brain most recent in evolution is associated with complex thought.

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved FEEDBACK Emotions Thoughts Behavior Performance Good News! You can develop Emotional Intelligence! –“Rewire” your responses to feelings. –Change how you think about this. –Alter your behavior. Beliefs Neocortex! Conscious & skillful behavior!

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Can EQ Skills be Learned Yes! But the LIMBIC system learns differently from the neocortex Self-directed learning (self-motivated) –Begin with gap between real self and ideal self Experimenting with new behaviors SUSTAINED practice required Supported by feedback from trusted others RETENTION of new limbic skill is better than neocortex-learning

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 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved 14 Racing up the Ladder of Inference You have 10 minutes 1. Share a story with a partner or in a small group of a time when you made an assumption, an interpretation, shared it with others, and later found out you were wrong. 2. Why do you think we are so attracted to jumping to conclusions and ramping up our emotions – sharing these stories and generating emotions in other people? Post your answers to #2 to

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Developing EQ Skills Emotional Self-Awareness- journal of emotions – see under ARTICLES Empathy exercise in the prework Emotional Intelligence 2.0 – book full of tips and has an assessment passcode at the end

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Three Behaviors of Resonant Leaders that Nourish Everyone Compassion –Caring for people (shown in behaviors) –Caring for self (shifting toward positive thoughts; good self-care body/mind/emotions/spirit) Mindfulness –Present moment focus –Relaxed & alert awareness of what is going on Hope for a better future –Optimism + Realism + alignment with the team’s values and emotions

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Moving to Spiritual Intelligence…

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved A Typical Exercise: Spiritual Leaders Name some people you admire whom you would consider to be Spiritual Leaders –Can be alive or dead May never have met the person –Fictional or real –Don’t have to be perfect In a second list, name the TRAITS of these Spiritual Leaders that cause you to admire them –Don’t have to be connected to a person - just a general list

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Typical list… Major religious figures: Jesus, Buddha, Mohammed, Moses, Abraham, Lord Krishna, saints (e.g. Mother Theresa) Political leaders: Gandhi, Nelson Mandela, Martin Luther King, Jr. Teachers, local religious leaders, guidance counselors, Authors/TV: Oprah, Dr. Phil Relatives: Mom, Dad, Grandmother, Grandfather, Aunt, Uncle, children Others: my co-worker, my neighbor, my patient, my boss, animals/pets

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Common Traits of Spiritual Leaders Loving / Compassionate / Kind Honest / High Integrity / Authentic Humble Wise Courageous Faithful, Committed to their ideals Forgiving Accepting / non-judging Calm, centered Peaceful / nonviolent Passionate Outstanding teachers Able to inspire others Great leaders Visionary Persistent in the face of difficulties See the gifts inside other people and develop them

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved A Basic Vocabulary Spirituality and Religion Source of life or Highest Power Ego self and Higher Self Love Spiritual Intelligence

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Defining Spirituality Spirituality is an innate need to connect to something larger than ourselves – something you feel is divine or sacred.  Religion is one very common way we attempt to satisfy this need  Connecting with Nature is another  Philosophy, Art, Physics, Science are others - Seeking an ideal, a noble truth, perfection, beauty

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Some Synonyms for Source/ Noble Ideal Higher Power God, Allah, Brahman, Yhwh, Lord, Spirit, Jesus, Holy Spirit The Dao/Tao The Ground of all Being, Pure Essence I Am That I Am - All That Is – That Which Is Ein Sof, The Indefinable Mystery Quantum field, the Vacuum State of Infinite Potential The Universe Love, Truth, Knowledge, Compassion Pure Consciousness, Pure Love, Pure Intelligence Gaia, Creator, the Great Spirit….et cetera

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved We have two parts…an Ego and a “Higher Self” Ego is our “personality self” and is designed to help us navigate the world and defend ourselves –Fight or flight is key –Needs to be healthy Higher Self is where we go when we “transcend” ego

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Possible Synonyms for Ego Personality self Local self or temporary self Manifest or material or relative self The “nafs” (Islam) Lower self, animal nature Fearful or childish self Needy self Persona - the mask I wear

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved The Problems of Ego self Puts HUGE filters on our perceptions of reality it’s all about me! it’s probably bad! Focuses on the past (what I or others did wrong) or future (what might happen) where we are powerless LOVES drama, gossip, distraction from what matters Is chronically unsatisfied – there is never enough (scarcity)

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Possible Synonyms for Higher Self Soul, Spirit Christ Consciousness Buddha nature Atman Essential Self Authentic or True Self The Dao/Tao within

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Ego self / Higher Self Ego is the part of us that is –Fearful, angry, separated from others –Likes drama, victim roles, aggressor roles –Thinks of “me” as a body –Necessary to function in 3 rd dimensional reality Practical but prone to overreaction –Initially resists Spiritual growth (likes being in charge!) Higher Self or Spirit is the part of us that is –Eternal, fearless, compassionate, wise, peaceful, deep joy –Seeks UNITY with others and Source/God/Universe

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Spirit or Higher Self is about Unity, Connection, Service, abundance, Long-term thinking, Win/Win/Win solutions Ego is about Separation, isolation, self-protection, scarcity, short- term thinking, win/lose or “quid pro quo”

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved SQ and “Love one another” The Golden Rule exists in all the major faith traditions and in most philosophies of life (treat others as you wish to be treated) We want “Love.” But what is Love? Compassion Wisdom A Bird with two wings… So spiritual intelligence is acting with Love…

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved CPI definition of Spiritual Intelligence “Spiritual Intelligence is the ability to behave with Wisdom and Compassion while maintaining inner and outer peace (Equanimity) regardless of the situation.”

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved CPI Model of Spiritual Intelligence 1. Self / self Awareness2. Universal Awareness 3. Self/self Mastery 4. Social Mastery/Spiritual Presence 1.Awareness of own worldview 2.Awareness of Life Purpose (Mission) 3.Awareness of Values Hierarchy 4.Complexity of inner thought 5.Awareness of Ego self/Higher Self What Other People See – Outer World What You See - Inner World Self / self focused Other focused 6.Awareness of interconnectedness of life 7.Awareness of worldviews of others 8.Breadth of Time perception 9.Awareness of limitations / power of human perception 10.Awareness of Spiritual Laws 11.Experience of transcendent oneness 12.Commitment to spiritual growth 13.Keeping Spirit Self in charge 14.Living your purpose and values 15.Sustaining faith 16.Seeking guidance from Spirit 17.Wise and effective teacher / mentor 18.Wise and effective leader / change agent 19.Makes Compassionate AND Wise decisions 20.A calming, healing presence 21.Being aligned with the ebb and flow of life

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Skill 5 : Awareness of Ego self and Higher Self / Spirit Self Level 1 Can communicate understanding of the nature of Ego self- including its origin and the purpose it serves in spiritual development 2 Demonstrates ability to observe personal Ego in operation and comment on what seems to own trigger Ego eruptions 3 Demonstrates awareness of and ability to periodically "listen to" Spirit or Higher Self as a separate voice from Ego self 4 Hears the voice of Spirit or Higher Self clearly and understands the "multiple voices" that Ego self can have. Gives authority to voice of Higher Self in important decisions. Highest Level 5 Spirit or Higher Self voice is clear and consistent. Authority consistently given to Spirit Self. Ego self is present and is a joyful advisor to Higher Self.

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Goal: Higher Self Drives, Ego “navigates” EgoHigher Self Think of your Ego as an important part of the whole. It can sometimes have good advice but shouldn’t be “behind the wheel”! Good Partners

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved VictimRescuer Ego DRAMA! Persecutor Co-CreatorCoach Higher Self Challenger Based on The Power of TED* by David Emerald *The Empowerment Dynamic The Drama Triangle & its antidote!

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Exercise: Shifting to Higher Self Think about the Ladder of Inference example. Instead of leaping to a conclusion, and getting upset, how can we interrupt the ego-voices and instead operate from Higher Self? Post your ideas to

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Clear Perception? Ears to hear and eyes to see – both are gifts from the Lord (Proverbs 20:12) Let anyone with ears to hear, listen! (Mark 4:23) Where there is perception there is deception (The Buddha)

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 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Why This Matters Perception is NOT equal to “Ultimate Reality” Yet we act and react based on what we perceive (and the assumptions we make!) So perception becomes “our reality ” We can choose to be in control of our perceptions (“the radio channels we tune into”) and our interpretations We can tune into the voice “ego” or into the voice of “Higher Self”

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Beginning to Integrate Spirituality in Our Daily Lives Event in Your Life Your Response* *thought, emotion, speech, action

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Reframe and tell a more compassionate story Our usual ego pattern –It’s all about me (making it personal) –Make assumptions - leap to conclusions/interpretations –Focus on and amplify the negative/drama story –Worry about past and future and miss out on the present! Spiritually Intelligent pattern –It may not be about me at all! –What about the other person? –I don’t know what this means…be open –Focus on the positive interpretation –Focus on gratitude –Stay in present moment

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Grocery Store Express Lane Limit 12 Items

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Conclusions EQ matters so you can manage your own success, assist the success of others, and improve your emotional and physical health SQ matters so that you can UNSEAT the triggers of anger and upset by learning the skills to shift from ego to Higher Self. –This increases peace, compassion, wisdom and prevents burnout for you and those who work for you –It enables much more accurate perception and decision making

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved Developing SQ Shift from Ego Self to Higher Self voice –Insert Pause –Empathy & role reversal to total reframe –Success = you can role reverse with anyone Take on new worldviews (Skill 7) Make sure you know how to be “in the world” as well as “not of the world” –Includes ability to set necessary boundaries –Develop worldly skills as needed = skillful means = part of Wisdom Take the SQ Assessment if you feel drawn to that

 Conscious Pursuits, Inc. All Rights Reserved SQ as a CAPSTONE Intelligence Highly Developed Developed Under Developed Physical Intelligence Cognitive SPIRITUAL INTELLIGENCE Emotional Human Development