Essay Outline Revisited

Thesis Statement Thesis Statement – Answers the prompt and includes the 3 categories (claims) into which the evidence will be organized. Body Paragraph (x3) Categories (claim) – Big picture idea that answers part of the prompt but requires evidence to prove. Evidence – Specific historical examples that prove the claim that answers the prompt.

Thesis Statement As Americans moved westward they faced numerous conflicts and also opportunities, which outweighed the conflicts; however, their movement westward had an overall negative affect on others, such as Native Americans. (Student Example) As Americans moved westward they faced conflicts such as racial discrimination and clashes with Native Americans, yet for some, the opportunities for economic independence outweighed the risks of those conflicts. (Refined Version)

Thesis Statement Being an immigrant at the turn of the century was very difficult and stressful, due to having to deal with Ellis or Angel Island, Americanization, and settlement houses. (Student Example) Immigrants at the turn of the century lived through very stressful immigration processes and suffered pressures to assimilate to a new culture, though many did receive aid from multiple sources to help them cope. (Refined example)

Claim & Evidence Claim: One of the conflicts that emerged as Americans moved westward was the clash between cultures and often violent and deadly racial discrimination. (Revised example) Claim: One of the conflicts that emerged as Americans moved westward were the deaths of the Americans trying to move westward. (Student example) Evidence: Native Americans were slaughtered in what became known as the Sand Creek Massacre. More than 150 people were killed by the U.S. Army as tribes refused to give up their lands. Evidence: Exodusters, African-American migrants in the west, were lynched and murdered as they tried to settle in various towns in the west such as __________. Many lives were lost as a result of continued racism.

Claim & Evidence Don’t write a report! Claim: Social Darwinism is the basic thought of survival of the fittest, in a way it can justify monopolies because it says the best companies can survive. Definition of Social Darwinism. Nothing to provide evidence for. Nothing to prove or disprove, agree or disagree with. Claim: Popular belief in Social Darwinism allowed disadvantaged groups to be exploited. Evidence: (Specific instance of a group being exploited)

Claim & Evidence Claim: Robber Barons used their industry to benefit Americans Evidence: Standard Oil used it’s power and influence to get other companies to lower the price of oil. Evidence: Industrialists, such as Andrew Carnegie, became great philanthropists and gave their money to promote education and world peace.

Claim & Evidence Claim: The Tuskegee Institute was more readily accepted by Whites. Evidence: Whites disliked the blacks who were recently freed and were demanding more rights. Both sound like claims. The evidence in this case must be a specific researched example of the Tuskegee institute being favored by White Americans. Evidence: The Tuskegee Institute received generous funding grants from White industrial leaders such as Andrew Carnegie and John D. Rockefeller.

Be More Specific? Specific Evidence: Not a broad or general idea Specific moment or instance in history Specific movement or organization with defined goals Name, date, place Proves or disproves a claim Must have a Source Citation Specific Website, Book, Article etc.

Works Cited Lot’s of examples online for help with MLA Format http://www.studyguide.org/MLAdocumentation.htm Last, First Name. Book Title. Publisher Name and Location, year.