Interpersonal Conversations Class 1

Administrative Give quiz Return previous quiz at the end of class Any questions about assignments, where we are, etc.? Making up quizzes? Critiques?

Review The Ugli Orange Negotiation The Disgruntled Airline Passenger The Good News Sources of Conflict Memorize these

Today I. Illustrations of Sources of Conflict II. Sources of Conflict in 12 Angry Men III. The Super Bowl Dispute

I. Illustrations of Sources of Conflict Roles Perceptions Knowledge/Information Tastes/Style Values/Beliefs Interests

II. Sources of Conflict in 12 Angry Men? How many of our six sources of conflict can you find? Provide examples

III. The Super Bowl Dispute Read the material What is the source of conflict here? What do you think of this example of conflict resolution? Why is it a problem if she got what she wanted? How else might this have been handled?

Next Time Continue our discussion of interpersonal conversations

Interpersonal Conversations Class 2

Administrative Have Quizzes to return at end of class Collect Critiques Submit them electronically as well

Review Illustrations of sources of conflict Sources of Conflict in 12 Angry Men The Super Bowl Dispute

Today I. Arguments II. Intent and Impact III. Blame and Contributions IV. Emotions and Being Emotional

I. Arguments Why do we argue? Is there anything wrong with arguing? An alternative approach

II. Intent and Impact What do SPH tell us about intentions and what we know about the intentions of the other person? What to SPH tell us about explaining that our intentions are good? Impact does not imply intent!

III. Blame and Contributions Blame versus Contributions Problems with blame? Prevents understanding Hinders problem solving Contribution

III. Blame and Contributions Misconceptions I should focus only on my own contributions Focusing on contribution means ignoring my feelings Hard to spot contributions Avoiding until now Being unapproachable Intersections Problematic role assumptions How can you identify your own contributions?

IV. Emotions and Being Emotional Why are people emotional in difficult conversations? Confusion of expressing emotions and being emotional

Next Time Continue our discussion of interpersonal conversations

Interpersonal Conversations Class 3

Administrative Give Quiz Return critiques at the end of class Remember to check announcements regularly

Review Why we argue (and how we can discuss instead) Intent and Impact Blame and Contribution Expressing Emotions and Being Emotional

Today I. Being Wrong II. Being Right III. Getting Angry IV. Gemstones’ Family Vacation

I. Being Wrong Why are we so reluctant to be wrong? What are the consequences when we can’t be wrong? Is there another way?

II. Being Right Why do we like to be right so much? What are the consequences when we believe we are right? Is there another way?

III. Getting Angry Why do we get angry in our conversations? What are the consequences of getting angry?

IV. The Gemstones Family Vacation Distribute Materials Read the Materials Break up into pairs Solve the problem (15 minutes) Write down the solution

Next Time Continue with Interpersonal Conversations

Interpersonal Conversations Class 4

Administrative Return Quiz Present journals and collect them at end of class

Review Being Wrong Being Right Getting Angry The Gemstone’s Family Vacation

Today I. Not having the conversation II. What can the conversation accomplish? III. How can you engage the other person?

I. Not Having the Conversation When does it make more sense not to have the conversation? When it is really your problem When you can change the situation on your own When you can’t accomplish anything by talking When you don’t have the time When your mood won’t allow you to listen

II. What Can the Conversation Accomplish? You can learn how they see things (and they can learn how you see them) You can express the impact the situation has on you (and so can they) You can engage their help in solving the problem

III. How Can You Engage the Other Person Listen Acknowledge your contribution Genuinely seek to understand how this looks to them Understand your limits

Next Time Continue our discussion of interpersonal conversations

Interpersonal Conversations Class 5

Administrative Give quiz Return journals at end of class Mid-term examination – Feb. 26, 7:30 pm, G402

Review Should I have the conversation? What is the purpose of the conversation? How can I engage the other person is a productive learning conversation?

Today I. Speaking Clearly II. Problem Solving III. Listening

I. Speaking Clearly Don’t make them guess Especially common in personal and particularly romantic relationships Using subtext Easing in

I. Speaking Clearly Don’t present your conclusions as truth Overstatement

II. Problem-Solving Reframing Statements asserting truth Accusations Blame Judgements

III. Listening Persistence about listening How does this sound? Why is this important?

Next Time We’ll finish the topic of interpersonal conversations

Interpersonal Conversations Class 6

Administrative Return quizzes at the end of class Collect critiques now Any questions about where we are or what we are doing?

Review Speaking Clearly Problem Solving Listening

Today I. If They Won’t Play II. Problem Solving (Again) III. Pat’s Curfew

I. If They Won’t Play Nothing will always work Discuss the dynamic Advantages Risks When to use this approach

II. Problem Solving (Again) You don’t have to agree Gather information Invent options Ask what standards should apply What are your alternatives if no agreement is reached?

III. Pat’s Curfew Divide up the class Distribute the materials See if you can come to a solution

Next Time Begin Unit on Negotiation and Problem Solving