What Happened to the Child I Knew Dr. David Causey, Ph.D. Clinical Psychologist Square One: Specialists in Child and Adolescent Development ( )

Developmental Issues Independence - Dependence Independence - Dependence Resist Advice – Need Guidance Resist Advice – Need Guidance Question Authority – Require Limits Question Authority – Require Limits Perceived Invulnerability – Fragile Perceived Invulnerability – Fragile Self-Assured –Self Conscious Self-Assured –Self Conscious External Control – Internal Flux External Control – Internal Flux Stability - Change Stability - Change

Areas of Adjustment: Middle School Teacher – Student Relationship Teacher – Student Relationship Increasing Academic Demands Increasing Academic Demands Peer / Social Demands Peer / Social Demands New / Larger Building New / Larger Building Increased demands for independence Increased demands for independence

Middle School Stressors – Spring 5 th Grade Leaving wrong supplies in the locker (75%) Leaving wrong supplies in the locker (75%) Kids seeing you in the locker room without your clothes on (75%) Kids seeing you in the locker room without your clothes on (75%) Being sent to the principals office (58%) Being sent to the principals office (58%) Having a tough teacher (57%) Having a tough teacher (57%) Peer pressure (55%) Peer pressure (55%) Getting bothered by older students (55%) Getting bothered by older students (55%) Forgetting locker combination (55%) Forgetting locker combination (55%) Missing friends from elementary school (52%) Missing friends from elementary school (52%) Disagreeing with a teacher (51%) Disagreeing with a teacher (51%)

Middle School Stressors – Spring 6th Grade Having a tough teacher (39%) Having a tough teacher (39%) Disagreeing with a teacher (35%) Disagreeing with a teacher (35%) Teachers expecting too much of you (34%) Teachers expecting too much of you (34%) Having to do harder work (33%) Having to do harder work (33%) Getting too much homework (31%) Getting too much homework (31%) Leaving supplies in the locker (31%) Leaving supplies in the locker (31%) Missing friends from elementary school (30%) Missing friends from elementary school (30%)

Research Findings Overproduction of gray matter that occurs in the Frontal Lobe brain regions (age 11-12) Overproduction of gray matter that occurs in the Frontal Lobe brain regions (age 11-12) Mimics brain development stage that occurs prior to age 2. Mimics brain development stage that occurs prior to age 2. Frontal lobes are not used efficiently and not communicating as well with other regions of the brain. Frontal lobes are not used efficiently and not communicating as well with other regions of the brain. More primitive in thinking and problem solving More primitive in thinking and problem solving Clearly different from young adult brain Clearly different from young adult brain Pruning Process Pruning Process

Executive Functions in Adolescence Planning Planning Judgment / Assessing Risk Judgment / Assessing Risk Impulse Control Impulse Control Organizing Organizing Separation of Affect Separation of Affect Shifting Cognition Shifting Cognition Sense of Time Sense of Time

Why Can Parenting an Adolescent Seem Harder Stakes are higher Stakes are higher Moods and Behaviors are more extreme Moods and Behaviors are more extreme They may expect a logical reason for what they cant have or do (i.e., Because I said so doesnt work anymore) They may expect a logical reason for what they cant have or do (i.e., Because I said so doesnt work anymore) Parents own level of stress or anxiety Parents own level of stress or anxiety

Risk Factors Cumulative Changes Cumulative Changes Prior adjustment problems Prior adjustment problems Learning problems Learning problems Intellectual development issues Intellectual development issues Poor social and coping skills Poor social and coping skills Absence of protective resources Absence of protective resources

Signs of Poor Adjustment Significant decline in grades Significant decline in grades Depressive symptoms Depressive symptoms Drop in self esteem Drop in self esteem Decline in school-related activities Decline in school-related activities Frequent counselor visits Frequent counselor visits Isolation Isolation Anxiety / School Refusal Anxiety / School Refusal

Suggestions for Parents Be aware : Be aware : What looks like a problem to you, may be a solution to your child (hard to give up) What looks like a problem to you, may be a solution to your child (hard to give up) Puberty and adolescence are periods of rapid change and are readily influenced by the environment Puberty and adolescence are periods of rapid change and are readily influenced by the environment Supermarket of options (R. McKenzie, MD): Guide them to positive versus toxic options Supermarket of options (R. McKenzie, MD): Guide them to positive versus toxic options

Suggestions for Parents Understand the message behind the behaviors : Closeness: Positive Recognition vs. Negative Attention Seeking Closeness: Positive Recognition vs. Negative Attention Seeking Power/Control: Independence vs. Rebellion Power/Control: Independence vs. Rebellion Protection: Assertive vs. Aggressive Protection: Assertive vs. Aggressive Withdrawal: Centering vs. Avoidance Withdrawal: Centering vs. Avoidance

Suggestions for Parents Maintain your role as the authority figure, but increase use of negotiating and mutual problem solving Maintain your role as the authority figure, but increase use of negotiating and mutual problem solving Help them to find safe and productive ways to be more independent Help them to find safe and productive ways to be more independent

Suggestions for Parents Try to be a part of their world, while trying not to be intrusive Try to be a part of their world, while trying not to be intrusive Have clear rules and expectations, follow through with limits Have clear rules and expectations, follow through with limits Remember that parenting is a process: all decisions or conflicts dont have to be resolved right now (parent with a plan) Remember that parenting is a process: all decisions or conflicts dont have to be resolved right now (parent with a plan)

Suggestions for Parents Avoid the cardinal sins of parenting adolescents (Phelan, 1998) Avoid the cardinal sins of parenting adolescents (Phelan, 1998) Spontaneous problem discussions Spontaneous problem discussions Nagging Nagging Insight Transplants Insight Transplants Explosions and arguing Explosions and arguing