Virginia Cooperative Extension Children & Stress

Stressed out! Draw yourself under stress You don’t have to be real artsy

What do these pictures have in common? Face grimaces Head aches ?

Reasons for stress in children Family disruptions; mirroring stress of others Natural disaster Community violence Normal growth and development, peers Other…. Brainstorm with audience about reasons for stress in children then show slide

Think about the children in your care In small groups: Think of at least 1 specific instance each to discuss a particular stressor you noted in a child. - How did you pick-up on it? - How was the child acting or reacting? - What (if anything) did you do about it?

Stress Model Rubin Hill’s model depicts that Event (A) occurs. This could be a family house fire or any other event. Then the resources the family has (B) whether they be money, time, knowledge, ability to cope, etc are put to the test. Along with these resources, they interact with © the family’s perception of the event. Do they fall apart or accept it, are they in denial or get busy to recover? Then the time of crisis is PERCEIVED. This is the actual stress (X) element- felt differently by everyone since A, B, and C are different for each person. This is followed by the time for reorganization, recovery and renewal.

Stages Stages of recovery Heroic Honeymoon Disillusionment Reconstruction and recovery Safety Remembrance and mourning Reconnection to ordinary life During the "heroic" stage everyone is helping and adrenalin is running high. Life saving, rescue efforts, neighbors helping neighbors. In the "honeymoon" phases, people who have not lost loved ones may be feeling euphoric, altruistic, and optimistic rather than bereaved. If it was a natural disaster, they may even feel the “government” will be there to rescue and save them. But the “Disillusionment” sets in when the first responders leave and reality sets in that nobody will put everything back like it was. People will likely be expressing feelings of frustration and anger. It is not usually a good time to ask if they can find something "good" that has happened to them through their experience. The reconstruction and recovery phase is the longest. There are sub stages that are necessary to move through much like in a grieving process. Safety and feeling one is safe and the family is safe is key.

Stress in children Children need to feel safe Children may regress (toileting, whining, thumb sucking) Children need to know adults in their lives have a plan These are key factors for children who are stressed. The #1 element is that children must feel SAFE. Some children may regress and don’t need to be chastised for such but adults should recognize this as a sign of stress. Children need to be about to count on the adult in their lives. Adult should not promise that which they cannot deliver but the need to say I will take the best case of you I can or that we will find an answer. Not “I will put it all back like it was” perhaps. Don’t promise what you can’t provide. Play is how children work through their feelings. Play is natural but you may need to provide play elements to help them.

…And Children need to work through their feelings but they may not have the words in their vocabulary For children, play comes naturally

The Play Approach Present children with concrete items Aim is to elicit similar feelings you suspect they are having Ask open-ended questions Be prepared to refer for psychological counseling if necessary Young children are concrete (not abstract) thinkers. When you present children with specific play materials, use real items where possible. These concrete items help children express their feelings. If rescue vehicles were involved in the stressor- use play rescue vehicles and a small play house for example (trainers can share real items as examples) Be skilled at asking open-ended questions. How, who, what, tell me are open ended and cannot be answer with one word. These sorts of questions extend the conversation. Have a partner in the community for referrals when things go beyond the classroom and get too difficult to manage.

Open-ended questioning technique Close-ended questions can be answered “yes” or “no” Open-ended take more words for a response Examples: Tell me about it. What does this remind you of? What happened then? How did you feel? Practice open-ended questions.

Consider items such as: People of various cultures Houses, cars, helicopters, boats Sunglasses (to assume new identities) Puppets to act out roles Toy cell phone Plastic farm animals, pets Other items to represent loss or this disaster Here are some examples.

The Literature Approach The group leader - establish trust, create safety Select with stories to tap feelings. Use open-ended questions! Do not tell group you are here to talk about loss or anger Books are another way to help children work through their feelings. Select books that tap into the feelings you suppose the child may be feeling. The point is not to complete the book but to get the child thinking and expressing. Then you can close the book and talk if you like or continue with the story. Take the child’s lead as he/she becomes the character in the story and relates to the feelings. Again use open-ended questions. Don’t introduce the story with your plan that this will lead to a big “feelings” discussion.

The child hears the story Along the way assumes the role of the character Group times should be fairly brief Coordinate with a partner in Mental Health for referrals if necessary. What happens is …along the way the child assumes the role in the story.

Children Need Play Routine Reality Safety Physical closeness

Key Points Safety, routine, physical closeness Regression Play Concrete Learners Strategies Art Reading