Using Your Filter

Think Before You Speak! Sometimes, we want to speak up– to say what we are thinking! Usually, we don’t say *exactly* what we are thinking, because what we are thinking could be rude, blunt, or hurtful. We should think before we speak! When we do, we are using our brain’s “filter” Using our filter can… Protect our friendships from being hurt by our words Save us from embarrassment Help us show respect Object Lesson: put a coffee filter over/into a plastic cup. Fill the filter with dirt, rocks, etc. Pour some water over the dirt and rocks. Show the students the water that remains. Have students guess what each thing represents. Basically, the dirt and rocks are all the thoughts in our brain. The filter is our social filter, which keeps us from saying things that are rude or blunt. Some of the ickiness gets through to the water, because aren’t perfect– sometimes our body language gives away what we are thinking/feeling. But, if we use a filter, we can stop the worst stuff from getting out of our mouths!

Encourage the class to come up with green, yellow, and red thoughts Encourage the class to come up with green, yellow, and red thoughts. Write the thoughts on the board.

White Lies Review White Lies vs. Bold-Faced Lies “8 Little Lies You’ve Probably Told” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czbHKhPRNtw&safety_mode=true&saf e=active&persist_safety_mode=1 It is socially appropriate to use white lies. If you use a white lie, you are using your social filter! If you use tact, you are using your social filter! Choosing not to talk about something (because it’s confidential or because you don’t feel comfortable doing it) can be part of a good social filter. Ask students if they remember the difference between white lies and bold-faced lies (they learned this last year). White lies are untrue statements told to make others feel better/more comfortable. They are socially appropriate to use. They are like using tact. Bold-faced lies are told to avoid getting in trouble/to gain something. They can hurt people and should not be used.

Filter the Thoughts! Is that a zit on your face? That’s a nice shirt. I’m late because I was pooping. People that drink coffee are bad. People who eat at McDonald’s are fat. You can sit by me. I can’t be partners with him because I hate him. This present sucks. I don’t even like Legos. Is this class almost over yet? The answer is 45. Pass out the white boards with the thought bubbles inside. Explain that you will read the thoughts on the board. Have students hold up the thought bubble if it should be filtered and kept in their heads and the speech bubble if it is safe to say. High: Have students re-write the thought bubble thoughts to turn them into more socially appropriate statements. As this activity continues, identify which thoughts might hurt someone’s feelings and which might cause social embarrassment if they were said. On the last one (“The answer is 45”), explain that this is a green thought but might be red if done at the wrong time. If you blurt out the answer without raising your hand, it can be socially inappropriate even though the words are correct and not offensive. How can using a social filter make you more successful in class? Hand out the Social Filter ISN page. Have students write down thoughts that should stay in the brain (red thoughts) on the thought bubble. Have students write thoughts that can be spoken (green thoughts) on the speech bubble. Students should write 3 thoughts for each area. Challenge students to come up with their own thoughts to write on their page!

Before we speak, think… is it: Kind Necessary Open-minded True If NOT, then we should tie it up in a KNOT and filter it out! The “open-minded” part is a tie-in to one of the upcoming lessons about accepting differences in others. If students ask, explain that we want to be open to hearing the viewpoints of others, and not “shoot down” someone’s thoughts/opinions/actions just because they are different than our own.