Practical tools for conflict resolution Conflict & Mediation

Conflict is… An active disagreement between people with opposing opinions or principles Not the end of the world!

Where does conflict come from? The majority of conflict arises from: Poor communication Unfair/unclear expectations Different personalities Loss of trust

Poor Communication is… The most common cause of conflict Thinking others will know what you’re doing, and your reasons without you explicitly explaining Being secretive How can I help?: Don’t assume people know what and how you’re doing something Keep your committee updated with what you’re planning to do, and the outcomes once they’ve happened Make sure people are clear what their role is and how they fit in

Unfair Expectations Expecting others to do things you wouldn’t do yourself Giving a disproportionate amount of work to some, whilst side-lining others For example: Asking a committee member to take on extra work when they have deadlines approaching, even though others on the committee have more time How can I help? Communication – ask your committee if they feel they are able to achieve their tasks or if they will need help Chat with your committee about what they consider realistic expectations, and check in with them throughout the year to see if they are coping

Different Personalities People on your committee may come from different backgrounds and life experiences, so they may not always see eye-to-eye How can I help? Accept each other’s differences – you will not always agree, and that’s OK! Don’t take things personally – encourage open discussion as soon as conflict happens so problems don’t worsen Find a way to compromise – for example let each person do it their way at different times, so they feel they are being heard

Lack of trust Not believing someone will keep their part of the agreement Not believing others motives Trust is hard to gain and easy to lose How can I help? Do what you say you’re going to do, when you said you’d do it Don’t gossip about other committee members Be honest with your reasons for doing things

How can I help if conflict does occur? Mediate!

What is mediation? Giving people the tools to solve problems themselves, instead of doing it for them Acting as the unbiased middle ground Facilitating the resolution process Face-to-face discussion with equal opportunity to speak and be heard for both parties

What is mediation? You can do this within your committee, or the SU can help you! Please come and see us in the SU office, or email union.opportunities@uea.ac.uk if you’d like to chat about conflict in your club or society, and what we can do to help

The 6 stages of mediation Parties agree to mediate Storytelling & gathering points of view Talking focused on interests & needs of the conflicted parties 4. Create win-win solutions 5. Evaluate each solution 6. Create an agreement

1. Parties agree to mediate Mediation only works if both groups agree to mediation Both groups must want to come to a solution and be willing to come to a possible compromise

2. Storytelling & gathering points of view Ensure both groups have a space to tell their version of the story with no interruptions from the other side Helpful ground rules for this section include: Don’t interrupt others Discuss actions not people Be open to understanding others’ reasons, even if you don’t agree

3. Talking focused on interests & needs of the two people Ensure the interests and needs of both parties are clarified What does each party actually want the outcome to be? Do their reasons have anything in common?

4. Brainstorm possible solutions Together, create a list of multiple solutions that take each parties’ interests into account Each possible solution doesn’t need to benefit both parties as you will be evaluating each one individually to see if they work well

5. Evaluate each solution Go through all the solutions you’ve come up with one by one Consider Does this solution benefit both people? Which solution benefits both the best? Is this realistic?

6. Create an agreement Once you have chosen the solution that works best, create action points to help put the plan into action If you think it would be helpful, you can write a formal agreement that all parties will sign Consider whether another meeting to check how effective the agreement has been

Further Info: https://www.skillsyouneed.com/ips/mediation-skills.html