English B53 In-Class Essay

The following excerpts were taken from your first in-class essays. They selections are anonymous and are for the purpose of constructive criticism, revision, and example.

Introductions The following is an introduction from a student essay. Imagine this student came to you and asked for your advice. What would you say? Today’s youth is truly not the dumbest generation. In fact it happens to be a very smart generation ahead of its time.

Introduction The following is an introduction from a student essay. What does this student do well? If words like iphone update, youtube sensation, emoji, and there’s an app for that are used in your daily verbiage, then you are probably an early twenties internet addict growing up in today’s world. The book review of The Dumbest Generation by Mark Bauerline called “How Dumb Are We? Thanks to the Internet, Dumb and Dumber,” by Lee Drutman, discussed how “logged on” today’s youth has become. I would agree by appropriately classifying today’s youth as “The Dumbest Generation”.

Body Paragraphs The following is a body paragraph from a student essay. What advice would you give this student? Technology today proves that kids ow are smarter. I remember that in the ninties computers were for rich people. The games on it were just dots that you would hit back and forth like ping pong. Or remember playing Oregon Trail and dying of dysentery or your wagon flipping over crossing the river? Just the video games alone have come a super long way. We used to use phones connected to a wall to make phone calls, now no one leaves their home without a small pocket cell phone. Then like every six months a new series of the phone you just bought comes out. Because of todays generation, technology advances are made and built on to be bigger and better.

Body Paragraphs The following body paragraph comes from a student paper. What does this student do well? People everywhere are connected to the internet, whether it is through a computer, cell phone, or any other device; people everywhere claim that the internet and technology are really helpful, but technology and the internet are only as smart as the people using them. Drutman states, “The problem is that instead of using the Web to learn about the wide world, young people instead mostly use it to gossip” (para. 4). This statement is very true people mainly use the internet to connect with people their age and to look up Mark Anthony’s birthday instead of searching important things like when World War II happened and what occurred during the Great Depression. The lack of interest in school and other topics are slowly dumbing down future generations.

Conclusions The following is a conclusion from a student paper. What advice would you give this student? To come to conclude these are many of the reasons why technology and social media have changed our youth in becoming the dumbest generation.

Conclusions The following conclusion comes from a student paper. What does this student do well? Overall, Drutman assumes that the internet is making people dumber, and that’s not true. Though we want things now, we have the opportunity to do so now. Social media is now a part of social necessity with social groups. We no longer are bound to having to be with others in order to be productive. We are able to scour the web effortlessly to obtain needed information, to chat with friends, and to develop new friends. Thanks to the Web, we can break away from tradition and feel empowered using this very powerful tool.