Erma Bombeck Erma Louise Bombeck , born Erma Fiste, was an American humorist who achieved great popularity for her newspaper column that described suburban home life humorously from the mid-1960s until the late '90s. Bombeck also published 15 books, most of more..

“ Erma Bombeck:Graduation day is tough for adults. They go to the ceremony as parents. They come home as contemporaries. After twenty-two years of child-raising, they are unemployed. #Graduation

“ Erma Bombeck:I told you I was sick. #Life and Living

“ Erma Bombeck: I take a very practical view of raising children. I put a sign in each of their rooms: Checkout Time is 18 years. #Parents and Parenting

“ Erma Bombeck:If a man watches three football games in a row he should be declared legally dead. #Football

“ Erma Bombeck:I was too old for a paper route, too young for Social Security, and too tired for an affair. #Security

“ Erma Bombeck:It's nothing short of a miracle that for years women have worked together side by side in the kitchens of America. I would have been willing to bet in an atmosphere of blunt instruments and sharp cutlery, not one of them would have been left alive. #America

“ Erma Bombeck: It takes a lot of courage to show your dreams to someone else. #Courage

“ Erma Bombeck:Parenting is a negative thing. Keep your children from killing themselves, or anyone else, and hope for the best. #Children

“ Erma Bombeck:Guilt: the gift that keeps on giving. #Guilt

“ Erma Bombeck:All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with white carpet is one of them. #Courage

“ Erma Bombeck:It is fast approaching the point where I don't want to elect anyone stupid enough to want the job. #Elections

“ Erma Bombeck: Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died. #Doctors

“ Erma Bombeck:What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere? #Age and Aging

“ Erma Bombeck:If you can't make it better, you can laugh at it. #Laughter

“ Erma Bombeck:One thing they never tell you about child raising is that for the rest of your life, at the drop of a hat, you are expected to know your child's name and how old he or she is. #Children

“ Erma Bombeck:When humor goes, there goes civilization. #Humor

“ Erma Bombeck:Getting out of the hospital is a lot like resigning from a book club. You're not out of it until the computer says you're out of it. #Computers

“ Erma Bombeck:God created man, but I could do better. #God

“ Erma Bombeck:In two decades I've lost 789 pounds. I should be hanging from a charm bracelet. #Men and Women

“ Erma Bombeck:People shop for a bathing suit with more care than they do a husband or wife. The rules are the same. Look for something you'll feel comfortable wearing. Allow for room to grow. #Marriage

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