BASEAL Getting on and falling out - 4

L.O.1 To know: What my anger triggers are What happens when I get angry What happens when I am overwhelmed by my feelings of anger Some ways to calm myself down. L.O.2 To be able to consider both the short-term and long-term consequences of my behaviour in order to make a wise choice when I am feeling angry.

In our last lesson we looked at letters from Elly and Ramjid both of whom were pretty angry at what had happened to them. We are going to look at the fireworks model of anger now.

Different parts of the firework are used to represent the different stages of anger. Which part is which?

What is the trigger that sets off your anger? How does the body change when someone is becoming angry? What happens when people “lose it”?

This is why we need to recognise when we are starting to get It is important that we catch our anger before we are overwhelmed by our feelings and it becomes an explosion. * * * * * Calming-down strategies DON’T WORK once we have “lost it”. Conflicts cannot easily be resolved when everyone involved is very angry because then we don’t make decisions which are in everyone’s interest. * * * * * This is why we need to recognise when we are starting to get angry and do something about it straight away. * * * * * What “calming-down” strategies have we discussed in the past?

Here are some of them …. Are there others? Listening keeping calm being respectful saying sorry. Trying to understand the other person’s point of view. Saying what you would like to happen. Not standing too close. Admitting the things you did were wrong. Finding some common ground - saying “I know we would both like to sort this out”. Making a “peace offering”. Not assuming the other person has deliberately set out to be horrible. Offering to make amends. Using calm “non-angry” body language. Are there others?

There is an old Chinese proverb (saying)…… “ If you are patient in a moment of anger you will escape a hundred days of sorrow ”. You may find some English proverbs too…if you look hard enough….

SHORT TERM consequences for any action. Sometimes we can extinguish a fuse by thinking hard about THE CONSEQUENCES of angry actions. Usually there are consequences for any action. You may feel good / powerful / strong for a little while (short-term) if you have just wrecked someone’s game or deliberately kicked their ball over a hedge or broken someone’s toy BUT there may be trouble ahead for you (long-term). SHORT TERM LONG TERM

Consider this: When Majid heard that he hadn’t got the part of the Artful Dodger and that it was his friend Ramjid who had chosen someone else he broke a window and ran out of school. What are the short-term and long-term consequences for Majid as a result of these actions? With a partner list the short-term ones first…

You might have included some of these: Majid enjoyed breaking the window as he was so angry. It felt good to hurl a stone. Majid felt good that he had made Ramjid worry about what he had done. He was able to be by himself – he didn’t want to be with other people when he was so angry and upset. He felt powerful and brave that he had done what he wanted, despite what the school and his family would say. Some other children in the school might admire him..

Now, with your partner, list the long term consequences….

You might have included some of these: Majid or his family would have to pay for the window. He would get into trouble at school, at home or maybe with the police for vandalism. If he hurt a child when he broke the window there would be a lot of trouble and he would feel really guilty, upset and ashamed. He would be unlikely to get a role n this play or the next. He might lose Ramjid’s friendship.

When Martin told Elly that Becky had told her biggest secret, she went to Becky’s tray and ripped up her art book, the one that had Becky’s competition picture in it. With your partner list the short-term and long-term consequences for this ending of the story about Becky and Elly.