I know how to move on from unhealthy relationships Year 11 – Life changes and transitions I know how to move on from unhealthy relationships As pupils are coming in, play the video clip of David Bowie’s ‘Changes’ next slide © Leeds South and East CCG

Learning outcomes Knowledge Skills I know what my personal strengths are and how to use them when facing personal change I know how to manage changes in personal relationships, including the ending of relationships I can identify something that helps me keep going when things are difficult for me I can help another pupil do this 2

How we will work together Can you remember the group agreement we have already talked about, let’s take a minute to think about them. Teacher notes Read these through with the children. Hopefully the ground rules will be displayed in the classroom already. 3

What do we already know? We know what it feels like to be changing Other people can see, but they don’t know what it’s like to be us Ask pupils to write down three feelings that you might feel going through a major change like this. Next slide Direct YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5QH3bGF4uU 4

Monarch butterfly emerging Ask pupils to write down three feelings that you might feel going through a major change like this Direct YouTube link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5QH3bGF4uU Watch the video clip © Neil Bromhall YouTube, 2010 5

Let’s get started – the change staircase Which step have you reached today? Explain how the change staircase works, and that part of the process is that you can fall down from ‘I want to do it’ to ‘I won’t do it’, or from ‘Yes, I did it’ to ‘I can’t do it’. This model is often referred to the trans theoretical model of change for more info see https://www.instituteforwellness.com/the-ttm-model-of-change/ 6

What’s it like being on these steps? What happens when you fall down one or two stairs? Which is the worst step to fall off? Think in pairs Think about a change that you have made or want to make. Talk about where you are on the change staircase Think in pairs – think about a change that you have made or want to make. Three questions: where are you/were you on the change staircase? What happens when you fall down one or two stairs? Which is the worst step to fall off? 7

Learning from Michael Jackson https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zqe5NP86OCc Stop video at 1min 38secs if point is made Lyrics: I’m gonna make a change, for once in my life It’s gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference Gonna make it right... As I turn up the collar on my favourite winter coat This wind is blowin’ my mind I see the kids in the street, with not enough to eat Who am I, to be blind? Pretending not to see their needs A summer’s disregard, a broken bottle top And a one man’s soul They follow each other on the wind ya’ know ’Cause they got nowhere to go That’s why I want you to know I’m starting with the man in the mirror I’m asking him to change his ways And no message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place (If you wanna make the world a better place) Take a look at yourself, and then make a change (Take a look at yourself, and then make a change) (Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah) I’ve been a victim of a selfish kind of love It’s time that I realize That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan Could it be really me, pretending that they’re not alone? A willow deeply scarred, somebody’s broken heart And a washed-out dream (Washed-out dream) They follow the pattern on the wind, ya’ see ’Cause they got no place to be That’s why I’m starting with me (Starting with me!) I’m starting with the man in the mirror (Ooh!) I’m asking him to change his ways (Ooh!) And no message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place (If you wanna make the world a better place) Take a look at yourself and then make a change (Take a look at yourself and then make a change) I’m starting with the man in the mirror (Ooh!) I’m asking him to change his ways (Change his ways - ooh!) And no message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place (If you wanna make the world a better place) Take a look at yourself and then make that... (Take a look at yourself and then make that...) Change! I’m starting with the man in the mirror (Man in the mirror - Oh yeah!) I’m asking him to change his ways (Better change!) No message could have been any clearer (If you wanna make the world a better place) (Take a look at yourself and then make the change) (You gotta get it right, while you got the time) (’Cause when you close your heart) You can’t close your...your mind! (Then you close your...mind!) That man, that man, that man, that man With that man in the mirror (Man in the mirror, oh yeah!) That man, that man, that man I’m asking him to change his ways (Better change!) You know...that man No message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place (If you wanna make the world a better place) Take a look at yourself and then make a change (Take a look at yourself and then make a change) Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah (Oh yeah!) Gonna feel real good now! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah! Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah (Ooooh...) Oh no, no no... I’m gonna make a change It’s gonna feel real good! Come on! (Change...) Just lift yourself You know You’ve gotta stop it. Yourself! (Yeah! - Make that change!) I’ve got to make that change, today! Hoo! (Man in the mirror) You got to You got to not let yourself... brother... Hoo! (Yeah! - Make that change) You know - I’ve got to get that man, that man... (Man in the mirror) You’ve got to You’ve got to move! Come on! Come on! You got to... Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! (Yeah! - Make that change) Stand up and lift yourself, now! (Man in the mirror) Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Aaow! (Yeah! - Make that change) Gonna make that change...come on! You know it! You know it! You know it! You know... (Change...) Make that change. Written by Siedah Garrett, Glen Ballard • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group Watch the video of ‘Man in the Mirror’ with lyrics © Michael Jackson, Sony 8

Learning from Michael Jackson Once the lyrics part of the video is finished, Start with the man or woman in the mirror. Take a look at yourself. Make a list of five strengths that you have that will help you when you are struggling on the staircase of change. …use the last two minutes while the music is still playing to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zqe5NP86OCc Stop video at 1min 38secs if point is made Lyrics: I’m gonna make a change, for once in my life It’s gonna feel real good, gonna make a difference Gonna make it right... As I turn up the collar on my favourite winter coat This wind is blowin’ my mind I see the kids in the street, with not enough to eat Who am I, to be blind? Pretending not to see their needs A summer’s disregard, a broken bottle top And a one man’s soul They follow each other on the wind ya’ know ’Cause they got nowhere to go That’s why I want you to know I’m starting with the man in the mirror I’m asking him to change his ways And no message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place (If you wanna make the world a better place) Take a look at yourself, and then make a change (Take a look at yourself, and then make a change) (Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah) I’ve been a victim of a selfish kind of love It’s time that I realize That there are some with no home, not a nickel to loan Could it be really me, pretending that they’re not alone? A willow deeply scarred, somebody’s broken heart And a washed-out dream (Washed-out dream) They follow the pattern on the wind, ya’ see ’Cause they got no place to be That’s why I’m starting with me (Starting with me!) I’m starting with the man in the mirror (Ooh!) I’m asking him to change his ways (Ooh!) And no message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place (If you wanna make the world a better place) Take a look at yourself and then make a change (Take a look at yourself and then make a change) I’m starting with the man in the mirror (Ooh!) I’m asking him to change his ways (Change his ways - ooh!) And no message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place (If you wanna make the world a better place) Take a look at yourself and then make that... (Take a look at yourself and then make that...) Change! I’m starting with the man in the mirror (Man in the mirror - Oh yeah!) I’m asking him to change his ways (Better change!) No message could have been any clearer (If you wanna make the world a better place) (Take a look at yourself and then make the change) (You gotta get it right, while you got the time) (’Cause when you close your heart) You can’t close your...your mind! (Then you close your...mind!) That man, that man, that man, that man With that man in the mirror (Man in the mirror, oh yeah!) That man, that man, that man I’m asking him to change his ways (Better change!) You know...that man No message could have been any clearer If you wanna make the world a better place (If you wanna make the world a better place) Take a look at yourself and then make a change (Take a look at yourself and then make a change) Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah (Oh yeah!) Gonna feel real good now! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah! Yeah yeah! Na na na, na na na, na na, na nah (Ooooh...) Oh no, no no... I’m gonna make a change It’s gonna feel real good! Come on! (Change...) Just lift yourself You know You’ve gotta stop it. Yourself! (Yeah! - Make that change!) I’ve got to make that change, today! Hoo! (Man in the mirror) You got to You got to not let yourself... brother... Hoo! (Yeah! - Make that change) You know - I’ve got to get that man, that man... (Man in the mirror) You’ve got to You’ve got to move! Come on! Come on! You got to... Stand up! Stand up! Stand up! (Yeah! - Make that change) Stand up and lift yourself, now! (Man in the mirror) Hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Aaow! (Yeah! - Make that change) Gonna make that change...come on! You know it! You know it! You know it! You know... (Change...) Make that change. Written by Siedah Garrett, Glen Ballard • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Universal Music Publishing Group 9

What helps you keep going? Which step have you reached today? For each step, starting at the top: What is hardest about being on this step? What things motivate you to keep going when things are difficult? When do you use your five strengths? Join with another pair and talk about each step, starting at the top. For each step: What is hardest about being on each step? What things motivate you to keep going when things are difficult? 10

Pairs work In pairs… Use your learning from today and assessment of your own strengths to think of ways of coping well with this change Talk about the big changes that you are going to face in the next few weeks or months Decide which changes you are most worried about Prompt learners to think about leaving school, starting 6th form/college/work, making new friends, changing sports clubs, doing different subjects and so on. Both should have an opportunity to talk through their changes and explore coping strategies. If time allows have a group discussion on what is helpful here. 11

Supporting others to cope with change In pairs… Make a poster to teach other pupils to manage big changes, think about motivation and self- awareness Focus on a change like ending a relationship, or moving to college/6th form, or coping with a changing friendship group Base the activity on the learning from the previous learning episodes 12

How has our learning progressed? I am strong when I need support when I am motivated by When things are difficult I can I can help another pupil I can move on When things go wrong I can I can deal with I learnt how to I want Pupils choose two or three of these sentence starters and feed back to the class 13

Taking the learning away Try and make one positive change this week Think about how it feels and where you are on the staircase of change Do you go down as well as up? Share the idea of the staircase with friends and family. Pupils may like to write these down and/or share with the group. 14

Want to know more or get help? www.mindmate.org.uk/ im-a-young-person www.childline.org.uk/ get-support Contact: Call, email or go online 15