Supporting LGBTQ Youth: What Peer Educators Need to Know Presented by Fatima Arain and Shannon Perez-Darby The Northwest Network of Bisexual, Transgender, Lesbian and Gay Survivors of Abuse

NW Network Mission The Northwest Network increases our communities’ ability to support the self-determination & safety of lesbian, bisexual and trans survivors of domestic & dating violence through advocacy, organizing and education. We work within a broad liberation movement dedicated to social & economic justice, equality and respect for all people & the creation of loving, inclusive and accountable communities.

NW Network Youth Programming Direct Services for LGBT Youth Queer Collaborations (Q-lab) full spectrum support for LGBTQ youth experiencing domestic, dating and sexual violence Healthy Relationship Skills LGBT Youth Crime Victim Service Center Elevating Queer and Trans Youth (Project EQTY) Building the capacity of our region to support LGBTQ homeless youth Community Engagement & Violence Prevention Love + - supporting LGBTQ youth to build a world free from sexual violence Gay Straight Alliance Support OutSpoken-LGBTQ youth leadership program National, Regional and Local Training and Technical Assistance

Relationship Skills Class Series Northwest Network Relationship Skills Class Series For more information please contact edric@nwnetwork.org 206-568-7777

Creating Prevention Programs with/for LGBTQ Youth Explain Love+ - who is our intended audience, who is it targetted towards, what is the purpose (not just prevention but active building up of positive skills)

Our ability to do effective primary prevention work with LGBTQ individuals and communities is directly linked to our knowledge of the strengths, challenges, and barriers faced by these communities, the trust and collaboration we create with LGBTQ community partners, and an active practice of not reinforcing stereotypes or misinformation about LGBTQ relationships and communities.

Language & LGBTQ Youth Almost every word that has been used by us respectfully has also been used against us hatefully. One’s intent, openness and actions are connected to how a word is experienced by others. The words reflect a great diversity of identity and experiences. Youth are on the forefront of evolving language Insider/Outsider Cultural characteristic of “camp” Use the language that people use to describe themselves.

LGBTQ Language Resources GLADD Resource Guide with Glossary http://www.glaad.org/files/MediaReferenceGuide2010.pdf Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays Glossary http://www.pflagatl.org/lgbt-glossary/ Comprehensive LGBT Glossary http://internationalspectrum.umich.edu/life/definitions

Where do LGBTQ youth in your community convene?

Making Space LGBT folks have historically had to make space for ourselves in illegal or hard to find places Often relies on informal social networks Can defy physical space LGBT young people more and more are finding social and romantic connections online via social media and dating websites

Love+ DV/SA Primary Prevention Program for LGBTQ Youth

What is Love+? Love+ is a unique teen dating/sexual violence primary prevention program that centers LGBTQ young people’s experiences in dating/sexual relationships. Explain Love+ - who is our intended audience, who is it targetted towards, what is the purpose (not just prevention but active building up of positive skills)

What makes Love+ different ? Responsive to each unique audience What makes Love+ different ? 1 – Responsive to each unique audience: modules v curriculum…flexible enough to do what each group needs 2 – Multiple doses: efficacy, gives time to process, come back and ask more questions, also evidence-based best practice in prevention work 3 – Youth generated prevention messages: puts it into their own words, helps them codify their values, shareable 4 – Anti-oppression analysis: integrates systemic oppression and how it impacts interpersonal relationships, eg. Consent 5 – “by and for” – advocacy but also prevention

What makes Love+ different ? Responsive to each unique audience Multiple doses What makes Love+ different ? 1 – Responsive to each unique audience: modules v curriculum…flexible enough to do what each group needs 2 – Multiple doses: efficacy, gives time to process, come back and ask more questions, also evidence-based best practice in prevention work 3 – Youth generated prevention messages: puts it into their own words, helps them codify their values, shareable 4 – Anti-oppression analysis: integrates systemic oppression and how it impacts interpersonal relationships, eg. Consent 5 – “by and for” – advocacy but also prevention

What makes Love+ different ? Responsive to each unique audience Multiple doses What makes Love+ different ? 1 – Responsive to each unique audience: modules v curriculum…flexible enough to do what each group needs 2 – Multiple doses: efficacy, gives time to process, come back and ask more questions, also evidence-based best practice in prevention work 3 – Youth generated prevention messages: puts it into their own words, helps them codify their values, shareable 4 – Anti-oppression analysis: integrates systemic oppression and how it impacts interpersonal relationships, eg. Consent 5 – “by and for” – advocacy but also prevention Youth generated prevention messages

What makes Love+ different ? Responsive to each unique audience Multiple doses What makes Love+ different ? 1 – Responsive to each unique audience: modules v curriculum…flexible enough to do what each group needs 2 – Multiple doses: efficacy, gives time to process, come back and ask more questions, also evidence-based best practice in prevention work 3 – Youth generated prevention messages: puts it into their own words, helps them codify their values, shareable 4 – Anti-oppression analysis: integrates systemic oppression and how it impacts interpersonal relationships, eg. Consent 5 – “by and for” – advocacy but also prevention Youth generated prevention messages Anti-oppression analysis as it relates to relationships

What makes Love+ different ? Responsive to each unique audience Multiple doses What makes Love+ different ? 1 – Responsive to each unique audience: modules v curriculum…flexible enough to do what each group needs 2 – Multiple doses: efficacy, gives time to process, come back and ask more questions, also evidence-based best practice in prevention work 3 – Youth generated prevention messages: puts it into their own words, helps them codify their values, shareable 4 – Anti-oppression analysis: integrates systemic oppression and how it impacts interpersonal relationships, eg. Consent 5 – “by and for” – advocacy but also prevention Youth generated prevention messages Anti-oppression analysis as it relates to relationships “by and for” prevention

“Relationships are made up of tiny moments of intention and choice” Love+ Framework Love+ is built on: Agency and self-determination of youth Capacity for youth to build the lives and relationships that are in line with their values Love+ seeks to: Provide space for youth to reflect on their own values around sex/dating/relationships and develop their own ideas about what they want their relationships to look like Build relationship skills, from the ground up, to support young people in living out their values in relationships -Agency and self-determination is priority in line with THEIR values, not prescriptive Builds skills from the ground up…from low-stakes situations to more emotionally charged ones “Relationships are made up of tiny moments of intention and choice”

Love+ Module: Expectations What thoughts, feelings, reactions come up when you hear the word EXPECTATIONS? (respond using the chat function) Introduce activity Have them answer in chatbox Give usual responses from youth (stress, pressure, parents, teachers, disappointment, etc) How do I respond (based on module on expectations)

Love+ Module: Expectations Scenario: Your friend invited you over to their house after school for the first time. When you arrive at their house, what are your expectations of: Your friend? Your friend’s family members/parents? Yourself? This is an example of building skills from the ground up…low pressure situation Give example of how some people take their shoes off, some don’t…what does that mean about expectations? (hint hint: they need to be communicated!) Where did these expectations come from? What kinds of problems could come up around these expectations? What opportunities for building connection could come from these expectations?

Love+ Module: Agree/Disagree Romantic relationships should be the most important relationships in someone’s life. Introduce activity “there is no right or wrong answer” This exercise helps youth examine and define their own values and expectations Ask “what kinds of problems could come up if these values weren’t discussed” Explain where I would go next after this activity (eg consent, boundaries, etc) Oral sex is not real sex. . Jealousy is a natural part of romantic/sexual relationships.

Everyone wants a great relationship. What else do you need? Love+______ - Invite participants to share their own responses

What our participants have to say… What was helpful about the workshop? “It was really validating to hear that the way I want to have relationships is okay as long as my partners and I agree to it together” “figuring out what I think about love and something else that important besides love” “I think the Love+ was pretty helpful. it’s nice to see how everyone views different values as important” “I know better how to treat my partner, whether boy or girl” “learning how to realize and define your own boundaries and let people know them” - Share participant feedback that we usually get (youth always say “more time!”)

Thanks for your participation!! For more information, support, technical assistance or to refer someone to any of our programs please contact: Fatima Arain Youth Advocate fatima@nwnetwork.org Shannon Perez-Darby Youth Program Manager shannon@nwnetwork.org 206-568-7777 - Rep our TA and Love+ in schools