GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK All in the Context of Making Good Scouting Even Better General resources BUT WE WILL ATTEMPT TO BRING IT TO A SCOUTING CONTEXT

THE GIVING Broken into two sections The Giving The Receiving

The Ten Commandments of GIVING FEEDBACK Be CLEAR Be POSITIVE Be SPECIFIC Be DESCRIPTIVE Be APPROPRIATE Be the OWNER Be focused on BEHAVIOR Refer to the CHANGEABLE Be AWARE of body language Be “ADVICE-LESS” Summary of the first part Go over very quickly Details for each as follows

1. Be CLEAR Exactly what do you want to say? Practice saying it. Say it simply. Be clear in your own mind what it is that you want to say If possible, say it out loud few times in private It will not sound so surprising in the real situation

2. Be POSITIVE Emphasis on what is right BUT be candid Attitude, attitude, attitude (the tone) Be honest. Be fair. Your ATTITUDE will show Your Feedback should point to a positive attitude NOT one that “shoots someone down”

3. Be SPECIFIC Avoid generalities Exactly what was observed Pronoun references are clear

4. Be DESCRIPTIVE Describe without being evaluative Describe observed, not the emotional impact Be careful of word choice

5. Be APPROPRIATE Age? Situation? Gender? Place? Timely?

6. Be the OWNER The “I statement” thing Hiding behind a “We” or a “You”

7. Be focused on BEHAVIOR What one DOES No control over what one thinks Get Feedback about your Feedback

8. Refer to the CHANGEABLE Dream the impossible Expect the possible

9. Be AWARE of Non-Verbal Body language Stronger message than words Learn more about Watch yours/Observe others

10. Be “ADVICE-LESS” Advice may not be the solution Help focus on understanding The solution lies within

THE RECEIVING

The Ten Commandments of RECEIVING FEEDBACK RELAX and BREATHE LISTEN Concentrate on the CONCRETE ASK for feedback OWN the feedback Ask QUESTIONS Notice GENERALITIES Request ASSISTANCE Learn NON-VERBAL CLUES THINK before action

1. RELAX and BREATHE Try to Self-explanatory

2. LISTEN Both ears Whole mind

3. Concentrate on the CONCRETE Emotions have a place, but not FIRST PLACE Tangible/workable/measurable

4. ASK for Feedback Informally Formally From many (360o) Use the Information

5. OWN the Feedback The “I statement” thing again Hiding behind a “We” or a “You” again

6. Ask QUESTIONS Stick to the topic of the feedback Ask without nagging Ask with minimum emotion Ask with improvement in mind

7. Notice GENERALITIES “all,” “never,” “always,” “sometimes,” etc. Beg more specificity

8. Request ASSISTANCE On going Clearer idea of expectations Clearer idea of own position

9. Learn NON-VERBAL CLUES Body language Stronger message than words Learn more about Watch yours/Observe others

10. THINK before action Sulking, stonewalling, withdrawing = childish Act upon the feedback or not--your choice Your actions affect others

A Gift A gift given is a gift given. Once given, it’s literally out of your hands. A gift received is a gift received. Once received, it’s yours. Do with it as you will, but thank the giver. LC

GIVING AND RECEIVING FEEDBACK All in the Context of Making Good Scouting Even Better finis

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