I Am A Good Parent! My Child Is Not Behaving! What Do I Do? The Hayat Universal Bilingual School – Qatar October 25th, 2016 Created and Presented By : Alana Andrea Tiffen –Grade 1 Teacher Miriam Burchell – Grade 1 Teacher Doris MacLellan – Senior BC Head

Workshop Objectives *To identify what is considered appropriate and inappropriate behavior. *To explore the importance of knowing when and how to react at home and school. To learn effective strategies for enhancing positive behavior at home and at school. To learn strategies for dealing with inappropriate behaviors at home and school.

What is considered good behavior or poor behavior?

What does appropriate behavior look like? -listening to others -following directions promptly -using words when conflicts arise - problem solving on their own -using eye contact when speaking to others - able to do things for themselves that are age appropriate (dress themselves, wash their hands, etc) -able to sit still quietly when asked to -able to make the right choice

What does appropriate behavior look like (continued)? well mannered (saying please, may I help you , etc) taking turns independently looking at the speaker using a quiet voice independently taking care of their own stuff putting away their own toys doing things to help at home without the expectation of a tangible reward

What does inappropriate behavior look like? fighting over toys not following directions hitting pushing biting lying tattling not following the rules at home or at school

What does inappropriate behavior look like(Continued)? -not listening to others -crying when they have been told” no” or having to wait -claiming they are hurt or sick when they want out of something or to get attention or help -throwing things -having others help them even though they are able to do it themselves (put on shoes, wash hands) -crying when a situation with peers arises instead of using their words -being loud and noisy when they have been told to be quiet -using an inappropriate voice (whining & whining) to get something -blaming others when it was their choice -throwing objects -not making eye contact when others are speaking even when they are asked to -not thinking of others feelings and hurting them with words or actions intentionally -not using manners when speaking to others (please, thank you) -screaming at others

Where does inappropriate behavior occur ? -at home -at school -when in afterschool activities (swimming, tennis lessons, etc) -in public Anywhere you don’t usually want it to happen!

I Am A Bad Parent! In your head you might be saying! Oh no, this is what’s happening in my house! My child does some of these behaviors! I am a bad parent! STOP! You are a good parent! It is normal for children to do these things because they haven’t learned self-control

What Is Self-Control? Why Is Self-Control Important? Self-control is the ability to control our emotions, behaviors, and desires using one’s own will. Self –control is important for achieving goals and overall success in life.

How does a child learn Self-Control? By watching others; especially parents (modeled behavior) Make age and developmentally appropriate choices (e.g. Do you want to wear the green shirt or purple shirt to Grandma’s tomorrow?) Logical consequences for every inappropriate behavior (e.g. time out for hitting, take away TV until task is completed, lose I-Pad or cell, etc) Consequences should not include yelling, nagging, hitting, or anything that shows the child YOU do not have self –control. Verbally, give positive reinforcement for all positive behaviors your child demonstrates. (Great job using your words to get him to share! )

Easy to Say it but hard to do! You are probably saying to yourself, “ Wow! It sounds so easy but they are not me and they don’t know my child. I usually just want my child to stop, especially when we are out in public or when I am tired (which is most of the time when you have a young child(ren)”.

Modeling of Self-Control? Scenario 1: Two children are playing and both hit each other about a toy. Both are crying. What would you do as a parent?

Modeling of Self-Control Scenario 2: You are at the shopping mall. They want a KFC. You said “No”. They are screaming ,crying , having a tantrum and are attracting an audience. What would you do as a parent?

Modeling of Self-Control Scenario 3: Your child is taking his time getting dressed when your family needs to be out of the house at a certain time. What would you do as a parent?

Your Turn To Practice Scenario 4: Your two children are playing with their toys and start fighting because they want the same toy. They both hit each other and come crying to you. What do you do as a parent?

Your Turn To Practice Scenario 5: You asked your child to eat their lunch and they are not eating their food. They are saying they don’t like it. What do you do as a parent?

What To Do Now! After this workshop take some time to recall a few scenarios that occur repeatedly in your home regarding your child’s inappropriate behavior. Determine what actions you need to start using to change those behaviors. You can have a plan ready for when your child misbehaves.

REMEMBER THIS! Remember That Changing Behavior in Young Children Takes Time. As you use your plan to change your child’s behavior his/her behavior may worsen. Do not give up. It may take a long time and many repeated tries before you see positive change. CONSISTENCY IS THE KEY. FOLLOW YOUR PLAN! IT’S TIME TO PRACTICE PARENTING USING LOVE AND LOGIC!

Life is about choices!