Sibling Rivalry, Relationships & Birth Order

SIBLING RELATIONSHIPS What are siblings? Brothers and Sisters (Includes Step and Half) How can a sibling relationship be a positive part of a family? Role models Supporters Members of a “coalition” for dealing with parents :) Coalition: a temporary union between two opposing teams

SIBLING ROLES Playmates and Companions Teachers and Learners Protectors and dependants Adversaries Role Models

SIBLING RIVALRY What is Sibling Rivalry? Competition among children of the same family for their parents’ affections or for dominance is called sibling rivalry. It is extremely common, and it sometimes persists into adult life. Question: What are some typical things brothers and sisters have problems with or argue about?

Younger children typically copy and try to excel in areas in which older children have previously succeeded. Rivalry may continue into adulthood when siblings compete often over various things.

Next to the parent-child relationship, the sibling relationship is probably the strongest. They have deep sharing of emotions. Teaching and socializing is often the role of an older brother or sister. The older sibling is not only a teacher, but caretaker and companion.

BIRTH ORDER The order in which children are born in to a family has an influence on the development of the children. The stages in the family life cycle are based on the age of the oldest child because everything the firstborn does is new to the parents.

Things to Remember About Birth Order: There are exceptions in every trait Focus on positive traits of each birth order Become aware of uniqueness Use the information to understand yourselves and others Do not use traits as labels or stereotypes

The Oldest Child Is: The parents’ “Guinea Pigs” Set up as an example to other children Treated more like an adult by his/her parents. A high achiever Given and accepts more responsibility than the other children Usually college bound Independent Affectionate

The Oldest Child, cont.: Perfectionists Reliable List-Makers Well-Organized Critical Serious Goal-Oriented People-Pleasers Conservative Supporters of Law and order Believes in Authority Loyal Self-Reliant

The Middle Child: Independent Loyal to peer group Has many friends May work extra-hard to get recognition Is usually a peace maker, avoids conflict Is somewhat average in schoolwork, but is an all-around good student Is usually a calm, even-tempered adult

The Youngest Child: Gets a lot of attention, along with a lot of bossing May be spoiled Usually matures quickly May be undisciplined and irresponsible Is easy-going about school Likes to associate with someone who takes charge of situations

The Youngest Child, cont.: Tends to blame others Manipulative Precocious Class Clowns Loves the “Spotlight” Carefree Hard to take seriously

WHAT IS YOUR TEACHER? Can You Guess? An Oldest Child Teacher: Creates complicated projects for students to complete They like structure and order in the classroom. They are happiest when students are sitting in nicely arrange desks, in a straight line Students are quiet and do as they are told The oldest child teacher will be frustrated unless they learn how to achieve organization in a different way

A Middle Child Teacher: Is interested in the psychological well being, as well as the academic achievement, of the student They seek out the rebellious students in hope of influencing them in a more positive direction They try to achieve order through mutual respect and understanding

A Youngest Child Teacher: Are more creative, fun loving, adjust well to noise and disorder Teachers allow students to take more responsibility so they won’t have to do everything themselves