Ideas The first of the 6 Traits of Great Writing By Sherrie Berry – 4th grade teacher – Hanna Springs Elementary

Find your Message This trait is the of the message. It is the central idea and the support for that idea. What do you want to say? What is your big idea? Can you tell about it in an original way?

Bring your Writing to Life!! Your writing is best when you write from the heart!! Your message must be easy to identify. Your topic must be narrow & focused. You need quality details that are beyond the obvious. ****You need to “take the reader with you” & show the reader what you mean!!!

Read this story written by a 5th grader Read this story written by a 5th grader. Did this student succeed in bringing the writing to Life? Earth The Earth has lots of meaning to me. I like it cause it is where I live. And there are butiful things in the would lick trees, flowers, rocks and The nature that lives on the Earth, mountains, rivers, My grandparents, mon dad, my pets and my pets friends, the govenor, My teacher, all my friends, my brouther, my cousion, and all the nice people in the world. But the best thing on The Earth is my relatives my relatives are very very nice. They will do anything for you And I am glad they are here. I like the nature cause that gives the animals a lot of homes and a river lets the animal get a drink and the trees some of them give food to the animals, and some trees give us food. The mountains are rlly nice it is part of nature and thy are pretty big and they are part of nature and History like pikes peek and the mountains rushmore with the four presodent. Earth has 50 states and about 7 countrys and most of the Earth is water there is Indian ocean Atlantic pacif and golf ocean. And it is important to me cause if we didn’t have the trees we would died. That is the main reason.

Well, What do you think? Turn and talk to your neighbor about “Earth” What is the heart of the message? Can you tell if it has a message at all? Is the writing clear and focused? Are the writer’s ideas fresh and original? Did you learn anything from reading this? Does the writing make sense? Are there any good, juicy details?

It is NOT a good example! It is an example of what NOT to do!!!! The student has not really decided what to write about! The paper is about a jumble of different things! There is NO focus! It seems like the student doesn’t really care about the topic.

Halloween Trick –or- Treating Costumes Narrow the topic Clown *****Nesting Boxes ***** Each one fits inside the other topic (box): Clown make-up that I wore last Halloween Clown Costumes Trick –or- Treating Halloween

What do you think about this next paper written by a 5th grader?

Zeena Zeena, I know just how you feel. I love chocolate covered marshmellows too! But let me tell you what happened to me. My mom came home from the store one day and let me have a chocolate covered marshmellow. It was love at first bite. So lite, fluffy, chewy and slipped down my throat like a small piece of heaven. Just thinking about it makes me want to have another one until I recall what happened when I finished my last bag of those squishy delights. My mom told me I can help myself to a few and before I knew it the whole bag was gone. My mom called me to dinner. And you know, the last thing I wanted, or even cared about was dinner, but you know how mothers are. I had to sit down and take one bite of everything. And after that I had diaria, diaria, diaria. But I was convinced it wasn’t the marshmellows. Last fall my mom bought me all of these cute clothes for my birthday. shorts, jeans, skirts, so when the weather got warm and I went to put on my new clothes, they didn’t fit to my amazement and not because I had grown to tall, just because I couldn’t even zip them up. But it couldn’t be the marshmellows, their too lite and fluffy; in fact a whole bag of marshmellows doesn’t weight as much as one orange. One day, when I put the tight clothes out of my mind, I grabbed myself some chocolate covered marshmellows, when I was biting down on one, a sharp stabbing pain went up my tooth and the side of my head. And when ever I ate, my teeth hurt. So my mom took me to the dentist, and let me tell you it was not a pretty picture. I had seven expensive, painful cavities. So Zeena, you can keep popping those marshmellows into your mouth, but before you do, remember not everything about chocolate covered marshmellows is sweet.

Let’s do a one minute quicklist! Wow! Much Better! Let’s do a one minute quicklist! Write down all of the things that you like about the “Zeena” story in one minute.

Questions to think about Did the author of “Zeena” have a message or a lesson to teach you? (YES!!! Be ready to tell me what she had to say) Was the topic: “chocolate covered marshmallows” narrow and focused (YES!!!!) Does the author care about the topic? Are there any great details included? (Be ready to share). Was the idea fresh and original?

Yes!! The writer “nails” this topic!! This piece sounds like it was written form experience. I can relate to it! (I have had trouble zipping my jeans too! ) I learned that I better watch out if I eat too much junk food!! She stayed on topic for the entire paper. Did you know that you could write so much about one little subject?

How can you write a story like the author of “Zeena” did? First you have to select a topic that interests you!

Ideas are everywhere Think about what is on your mind right now. What do you know? What do you believe? What have you learned? Look in your journal for ideas Look at family photographs to remember things you have done and feelings you have had. Find old toys, souvenirs etc. that stimulate memories for you. Read! Read!! Read!!! Life Lessons. Sayings. Truisms.

Let’s make a Quicklist It’s easy, because you already know all of the answers! They are in your brain right now! Anything you write is correct!!

My Gritty Life Quick List 1. pet peeves 2. “” 3. things I need to buy (want my parents to buy) 4. “” 5. Topics of conversation. Things I discussed with someone in the last week. 6. “” 7. Things that I own that I love. 8. “” 9. Things that I learned how to do 10. “” 11. Moments to remember from last school year. 12. “”

The kernel essay *A kernel of corn can just be a kernel, or it may be planted to grow an entire corn field. *An idea may be just enough for a short piece or it may be expanded into an essay.

What you said to yourself My topic/truism: Fingernail biting is a nasty habit. My structure: Pet peeve What you saw What you said to yourself What else you saw What you decided. What you know now. x

My kernel essay I watched in horror as my son put his nasty fingernail in his mouth while he was playing 3rd base. I thought, “Why does he always bite his nails when I can’t get close to him and make him stop?” I looked at all of the germy garbage in the dugout left behind by the boys on the field. I decided that an appropriate punishment might be painting his nails pink . That would be brutal for a 13 year old boy. “Hee. Hee.” I know now that nervous habits are hard to break and sometimes when you are a parent you have to pick your battles.

Your best writing will include: 1. Your experiences 2. Your beliefs

Truisms ***Gretchen Bernabei’s Truism mini-lesson (Show Truism portion of DVD to students)

You are on your way to some terrific writing!!! After you: Read some great books to give you examples of great ideas & Practice selecting some of your own ideas for topics to write about You will be ready to add some thick details to make your writing FABULOUS!!! That is another lesson, but until then… KEEP ON WRITING!!!

You’ve got the “write” stuff!!!