Training in Righteousness Character traits addressed in the book of Proverbs: The Importance of Wisdom The Fear of the Lord The Purpose and Danger of Anger Sex and Beauty The Value and Danger of Money and Wealth The Importance of Work The Danger of Pride The Importance of Self-Control Mending Broken Relationships Your Plans; God’s Plans The Power of Our Words Dealing With Prosperity and Adversity The Marks of a True Friend

Your Plans; God’s Plans Proverbs The Book of Proverbs Your Plans; God’s Plans Proverbs

If God is Sovereign, Why Make Plans? The book of Proverbs teaches two ideas, which, on the surface, seem to be opposing ideas: Idea #1: The success or lack of success that we experience in our life is the direct result of our planning and decisions. Idea #2: God is sovereign and no matter what we plan, he controls the outcome. So for example, on one hand the Proverbs tell us that: The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance, but everyone who is hasty [impulsive] comes only to poverty. (21:5) Yet on the other hand we’re told that everything that happens in life, even seemingly random events, are a result of God’s sovereign choice: The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the LORD. (16:33)

If God is Sovereign, Why Make Plans? Philosophically it’s hard for us to hold to both of these ideas at the same time. People tend to believe that either: Our choices matter and are significant and have consequences and that means our destiny is not fixed – history is open. Everything is fixed so who cares how you live – it really doesn’t matter what you do. And yet the Bible teaches that we’re free to make whatever plans we desire, and, at the same time, the outcome is determined by God: The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is from the LORD. (16:1) In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps. (16:9 NIV)

If God is Sovereign, Why Make Plans? So your plans are yours. Your choices are yours. You are responsible for them. If you do something stupid, wicked, selfish, or cruel – there are going to be bad consequences and people are going to hold you accountable and they should. And God will hold you accountable and he should. But what actually happens as a result of your plans, whether it’s words (16:1) or actual deeds (16:9), is absolutely controlled and totally fixed and set by God. Nothing happens that’s not according to his plan.

If God is Sovereign, Why Make Plans? Most of the time, when we see things happening in our lives or in the lives of those around us, we don’t know God’s sovereign purposes. But we do know that: Because God is sovereign everything that happens has a purpose. Because God is Holy his purposes are always good. Everything that happens is ultimately for God’s glory (Rom 11:36) and the good of his people (Rom 8:28). So why should we make plans and decisions? Because, as we have already seen: We are responsible for our plans and decisions. Our plans and decisions will have a significant impact on our lives. And if we want things to go well for us, we must learn to make wise plans and decisions.

A Person Who Makes Wise Plans To become a person who makes wise plans, you must be keenly aware of your limitations as a fallible human being. You can think you’re right and be dead wrong: There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death. (14:12 and 16:25 NIV) All a man's ways seem innocent to him, but motives are weighed by the LORD. (16:2 NIV) Even short range plans have to be held with an “open hand”: Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring. (27:1) And if you truly recognize your limitations, whenever possible, you will ask (and take) the advice of those who are wise: The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but a wise man listens to advice. (12:15). Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed. (15:22)

Your Plans; God’s Plans How does this apply to our kids? It is important to make sure that your kids understand that: God is totally sovereign and is working all of history for his glory and the good of those who love him. Their choices belong to them and they are accountable for those choices. At a practical level, kids will need to learn that: Rainy days, sickness, etc. are beyond our control and may get in the way of our plans, but God brings those things into our lives for a purpose. At the same time, our choices do matter so we need to learn to make wise choices.

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The Marks of a True Friend Proverbs The Book of Proverbs The Marks of a True Friend Proverbs

Why We Need Friends The book of Proverbs teaches us that we need good friends to help us through the difficulties and troubles that we encounter in life: A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. (18:24) This proverb is telling us that, though we have many people who accompany us in life, in order to keep ourselves from coming to ruin, we need a true friend – someone who will “stick” with us, no matter what.

The Marks of a True Friend A true friend is there when you need them: A friend loves at all times…(17:17a) …a friend… sticks closer than a brother. (18:24) This does not mean that a friend should rescue a person who, because of a pattern of serious sinful behavior, continually causes problems for themselves and others: A hot-tempered man must pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again. (19:19 NIV) The best way to be a friend to this kind of person is to allow them to experience the consequences of their own making, and be there for them when (and if) the negative consequences in their life bring them to their senses.

The Marks of a True Friend A true friend cares about you: A true friend isn’t happy when you’re down: Like one who takes away a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar poured on soda, is one who sings songs to a heavy heart. (25:20 NIV) A true friend has empathy for you in good times and in bad: Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep. (Rom 12:15)

The Marks of a True Friend A true friend is willing to counsel you and be counseled by you : Oil and perfume make the heart glad, and the sweetness of a friend comes from his earnest counsel. (27:9) As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. (27:17 NIV)

The Marks of a True Friend A true friend is willing to tell you the truth – even when it hurts: Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy. (27:5-6) He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue. (28:23 NIV)

The Marks of a True Friend How does this apply to our kids? Teach kids that if you want to have a true friend, they must first learn to be a true friend. Help them think through what it means to be a true friend. Encourage your kids to make friends who are true friends.

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