Love Your Wife Respect Your Husband Ephesians 5:22-33 Family Matters series January 21-22, 2017 Pastor Dave Smith dave@highlands.us

Why This Series? Our most significant relationships are also some of our most challenging – husbands, wives, parents, children. We can examine God’s Word to discover what it reveals about these important relationships.

God’s Creation & Foundation So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him, male and female he created them. (Genesis 1:27) Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. (Genesis 2:24) Biblical Marriage or Matrimony: The union of one man to one woman for life. Leaving, Cleaving, Weaving

Other Relevant Scriptures Old Testament New Testament Examples: Abraham & Sara Isaac & Rebecca Jacob & Rachel (and Leah) Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Deuteronomy Jesus: Matthew 5: 31-32 Matthew 19: 3-12 Wedding at Cana; wedding parables 1 Peter 3: 1-7 1 Cor. 6 & 7; 2 Cor. 6 Ephesians 5: 22-33

Love & Respect However, let each one of you love his wife as he loves himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33) The key to a happy marriage and to resolving marital conflicts; best gift to your kids Love = mutual & unconditional; her need Respect = mutual & unconditional; his need From the Crazy Cycle to the Rewarded Cycle

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs The Crazy Cycle She Reacts Without Respect He Reacts Without Love

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs The Energizing Cycle Motivates Her Respect His Love

Dr. Emerson Eggerichs The Rewarded Cycle Regardless of Her Respect His Love

Ephesians 5: 22-24 22Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. Submit (hupotasso) to place yourself under authority; not submit to sin; equal before the Lord (Gal. 3:28); can’t have two heads

Showing Respect His leadership needs (helper) His accomplishment needs (cheerleader) His spiritual support (prayer) His physical needs (partner) His hobby needs (companion) His intimacy needs (sex)

Ephesians 5: 25-28 25Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Showing Love Her spiritual needs (priest) Her physical needs (provider) Her emotional needs (companion) Her domestic needs (partner) Her leadership needs (listener) Her romantic needs (King & Queen)

Ephesians 5: 29-32 29For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30because we are members of his body. 31”Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Deeper Reasons To Love and Respect A secret to battling low self-esteem: Christ is nourishing you. You are part of His body. A discipleship issue; a sin issue: To follow God’s way is God’s will. Every Christian marriage is a reflection of Christ and His church. To give Him the glory!

Keeping Our Balance Balancing Love: Balancing Respect: Abusive  Absent  Authentic  Authoritarian  Autocratic Balancing Respect: Rebellious  Resistant  Respectful  Resentful  Revengeful

Wait A Minute, Pastor … Does this really work? God’s Word works; always true & accurate What if we’re living together? Make an appointment with me. (John 4) Why should I love (or respect) if I have no assurance it will be reciprocal? 1 Peter 3: 1-7 (graceful communication) Trusting in God