Gallagher Gallagher is an American comedian and prop comic, most popularly known for smashing watermelons as part of his act.Leo Anthony Gallagher was born at Fort Bragg, North Carolina and grew up in South Tampa. Attended H.B. Plant High School in Tampa, more..more..

“ Gallagher :"You know what's stupid? Skiing. You get on top of a slippery mountain with sleds on your feet and you go down... big deal. Try not to. Or, go up! Now that'd be a sport for ya!" #Cats #Cats

“ Gallagher :"Wouldn't it be great if people were the same in bed as they are in every day life? When Mark Spitz gets done, does he do a flip off the headboard and come back for another lap? 'Gee, Nadia, that was PERFECT! That full twisting dismount wasn't bad either, babe!'" #Love#Love

“ Gallagher :"I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence. They got one called 'brightness', but it don't work, does it?" #Television#Television

“ Gallagher :"Y'know, God experimented with the other animals before he got around to us. You ladies oughtta thank him for creating the cow, and getting that udder idea out of his head!" #Taxes and Taxation #Taxes and Taxation

“ Gallagher :If "pro" is the opposite of "con", is "progress" the opposite of "congress"? from the 1985 movie The Bookkeeper #America #America

“ Gallagher :" 'I before E except after C?' Americans don't want to learn that! They just sort of make an 'I' lookin 'E' and an 'E' lookin 'I' then put the dot, right there in the middle!" #America#America

“ Gallagher :"Living in California is like living in a bowl of granola; what ain't fruits or nuts, is flakes." #Books - Reading#Books - Reading

“ Gallagher :"Women wear a pair of panties but only one bra." #Dress #Dress

“ Gallagher :"Wonder why it is God didn't give us wheels. He must've known we get skates for Christmas." #Christmas#Christmas

“ Gallagher :"I would like now to talk about the Japanese, a race of very short people who are always bending in half. You can't make an honest business deal with them because you can't look em' in the eye. I don't believe any group of people should be able to build a car they can't pronounce. I'm talking of course about the 'Cororra'." #Negotiation#Negotiation

“ Gallagher :"Remember this advice... Never let your mom comb your hair when she's mad at your dad!" (removes hat to display bald head) #Advice#Advice

“ Gallagher :"Why do they call them cowboys? Cows is girls; bulls is boys. They should call them 'cowgirls' and 'bullboys.'" #Law and Lawyers #Law and Lawyers

“ Gallagher :"We go to school to learn to communicate, but all the teachers say to us is "shut up!" #Teachers and Teaching#Teachers and Teaching

“ Gallagher :"Why do they call 'em 'buildings' when they're done building 'em? They ought to be called 'builts.' Or, 'crumblings.' 'I live in that crumbling over there.'" #Eternity#Eternity

“ Gallagher :"This I before E stuff would've screwed up Einstein. He's got it wrong twice in his name." #Genius#Genius

“ Gallagher :"People like crowds. The bigger the crowd, the more people show up. Small crowd, hardly anybody shows up." #Crowds #Crowds

“ Gallagher :"If M & M's 'melt in your mouth, not in your hand.' what would they do, say... under your arms?" #Multiculturalism#Multiculturalism

“ Gallagher :"Why are all the home-ec teachers divorced?" #Divorce #Divorce

“ Gallagher :"Hey, what do you expect from a culture that drives on parkways and parks on driveways?" #Books - Reading#Books - Reading

“ Gallagher :"Wonder why it is your underarms stink. Did it ever come in handy? Did you ever say 'Well thank God my underarms stunk! He came out of the bushes and I said Get back! I've been to aerobics!'" #Food and Eating#Food and Eating

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