Rock On: Integrating Evidence like an Honors Student

#1 Do Not Let Evidence Stand Alone Without Any Introduction to it Evidence Stands All Alone: When Grendel listens to the Shaper’s songs, he learns about the origin of his being. “He told of an ancient feud between two brothers which split the world between darkness and light. And I, Grendel, was the dark side, he said in effect. The terrible race God cursed (51)”. A Little Better: When Grendel listens to the Shaper’s songs, he learns about the origin of his being. He says, “He told of an ancient feud between two brothers which split the world between darkness and light. And I, Grendel, was the dark side, he said in effect. The terrible race God cursed (51)”.

Do Not let evidence stand all alone! – Grendel goes to Herot. “Out from the marsh... bearing God’s hatred.” Do Integrate the Evidence! – When Grendel comes “out from the marsh,” he stalks toward Herot “bearing God’s hatred” (lines 1 – 2). #1 Do Not Let Evidence Stand Alone

#2 Really sophisicated paragraphs will try to avoid he says/he states/it says… CORRECT, BUT “JUST OK”: Grendel describes how he knows it is time to start his war again. He states, “I feel my anger coming back, building like invisible fire, and at last, when my soul can no longer resist, I go up" (Gardner 9). BEST! NATURAL EVIDENCE INTEGRATION: Grendel knows it is time to start his war again, as he begins to “feel [his] anger coming back, building like invisible fire” (Gardner 9).

Do Not Lead Into Evidence with “In the story it says...” – In the story it says, “he journeyed forever joyless.” Do give context with integration: – Grendel’s trip to Herot is not one filled with great excitement; it is a trek that he “journey[s], forever joyless” (line 11). #2 Really sophisicated paragraphs will try to avoid he says/he states/it says…

Okay: When Grendel meets men for the first time, he states, “I knew I was dealing with... the most dangerous things I’d ever met” (Gardner 27). Better: When Grendel meets men for the first time, he comes to believe that they are “the most dangerous things [he has] ever met” (Gardner 27).

#2Really sophisicated paragraphs will try to avoid he says/he states/it says… Okay: When Grendel listens to the Shaper’s songs, he learns about the origin of his being. He says, “He told of an ancient feud between two brothers which split the world between darkness and light. And I, Grendel, was the dark side, he said in effect. The terrible race God cursed” (51). Better: When Grendel listens to the Shaper’s songs, he learns about the origin of his being. He hears the story of “an ancient feud between two brothers which split the world between darkness and light,” and Grendel discovers that he was “the dark side... [t]he terrible race God cursed” (51).

Okay: After listening to the Shaper, Grendel states, “I fled... torn apart by poetry” (Gardner 44). Better: After listening to the Shaper, Grendel feels confused and “torn apart by poetry” (Gardner 44). #2 Really sophisicated writers will try to avoid he says/he states/it says…

Do Not leave evidence in wrong tense! (Remember: literature is written about in present tense!) – As Grendel enters Herot and sees the sleeping men, “his heart laughed.” Do fix the tense! – As Grendel enters Herot and sees the sleeping men, “his heart laugh[s].” (Use [] brackets to make any changes necessary to correct the tense, or make the sentence fit grammatically or for better understanding.) #3 Fix the Grammar

Do Not leave evidence “as is” if it does not make sense grammatically! – As Grendel enters Herot and sees the sleeping men, “his heart laughed, he relished the sight, intending to tear the life from those bodies.” Do add words as needed to make the sentence work! – As Grendel enters Herot and sees the sleeping men, “his heart laugh[s], [and] he relishe[s] the sight, intending to tear the life from those bodies” (lines 21 – 22). #3 Fix the Grammar

Have I changed the verb inflections, added words, or deleted words as needed to fit the grammatical structure and understanding of my sentence? Remember: Literature is written about in the present tense! Make changes to the evidence as needed using brackets [ ] to fit that tense. It is okay to add words to the evidence, using brackets [ ], in order to make the sentence clearer, as long as it does not change the meaning of the evidence.

#4 Evaluate the Evidence Is my chosen evidence RELEVANT and is it THE BEST evidence to support my thesis? Do not choose evidence that has nothing (or almost nothing) to do with supporting your thesis. Do not choose only the most obvious evidence. Try to find some great evidence not discussed in class, so that I can see your thinking – not mine.

#4 Evaluate the Evidence Have I abridged the evidence down to the most supportive, relevant, essential, and focused parts? Use lengthy quotes sparingly! Use the evidence to support your argument; do not use the evidence to make the argument for you.