Tyler Wilson and Yoshiki Stout

You’re a guy that’s too cool for school; in fact, so cool that you don’t even bother going to culinary school. You just head over to McDowell’s for a bite. Go to McDowell’s

You arrive at McDowell’s. What do you choose?

You look at the menu, and you’re trying to decide between a cheeseburger and a Caesar salad.

It’s been 45 minutes, and your burger still isn’t ready. You can

You go into the kitchen to complain, and the head chef is offended. He chops you up into fine cubes and serves you with a bay leaf.

Your burger arrives shortly, and you enjoy a juicy, tender cheeseburger and go home happy.

You’ve lost your manhood! Men don’t eat salad.

You walk up to he buffet, and you’re presented with the choice of a plate of chicken wings or a plate of cold shrimp.

You eat an entire plate of chicken wings, and it isn’t sitting well. You feel your stomach start to rumble. You can either

You’ve almost reached the door to the bathroom, but you lose yourself, slipping in your own mess down a flight of stairs. You limp home in shame.

You decide to hold out. A mysterious man shows up and supplies you with antacid. You make it home and enjoy the rest of your evening.

You eat a full plate of cold shrimp, and you get food poisoning.

You wake up the next day to the sound of sirens wailing. You can either

You look out the left window, and see an ambulance fly by. You can

You’ve decided to stay inside the house. You decide to fix yourself some cereal. You look in the cupboard and find cheerios and lucky charms.

You hate Cheerios. Pick again!

You feel magically delicious and have a wonderful day.

You go outside and see that your local Walgreens down the street has exploded. You can choose to

While walking toward the burning Walgreens, you slip in a broken bottle of cough syrup and tumble down the steps into a subway station.

You land on top of a homeless man living in the subway station. He demands that you compensate him for his injuries.

You pull out your wallet to pay him some money, but you don’t have any cash. He gets very angry and takes you.

You break into a sprint, but it turns out that he is a former Olympic runner. He catches up with you in no time and he takes you.

You turn back and attempt to walk home, but you trip up the curb and fall into the back of a truck. The truck begins rolling off the road, straight into a river.

You look out the right window and see a police car whiz past. You remember that you’re a fugitive, and the cops are closing in on you. You can choose to

You go back to sleep, and the police breaks down your door and finds you asleep in your bed. They apprehend you and throw you into prison.

You get to prison, and you are presented with two choices: either to join a prison gang or to become a loner.

Upon joining the prison gang, you must get a tattoo: not just any tattoo, but one in certain uncomfortable places. You can get one either

You decide to get a tongue tattoo. The ink they use was old and it poisons you, and you begin to die.

The tattoo on your eyeball compromises your ability to see, and you fall down the stairs, to your death.

You choose not to socialize in prison. You become an outcast and spend the rest of your life alone in solitary confinement.

You pack up your things into a suitcase and step out of your house. You can choose to

You get down to the subway station, and a homeless man living in the station begs you for your money. You can either

You pull out your wallet, and upon seeing your ID, the undercover agent posing as the homeless man recognizes you as the fugitive. He arrests you and takes you in.

You tell the man “no” and walk away. You get on the train; it takes you all the way to the edge of town. After getting off the train, you can either

You head to the ocean. Upon reaching the ocean, you slip and fall on a seashell, dying immediately.

You head inland away from town. You reach a remote location, and start a new life as Robert Steinberger.

You decide to stay in bed. After a few minutes, you begin to smell smoke; the smoke envelops your house. What do you do?

While searching for the extinguisher the roof collapses on top of you, crushing you.

You run out of the house. You remember that your dog Spunky is still inside the house.

You go back to the burning house, but you know you don’t have much time. You can look in either

You find Spunky in the living room. You grab him and dash out of the house.

You look in the kitchen, but the flames are too strong there. The flames burn you to a crisp.

You Have DIED.

Congratulations! You have lived.