1. The good, the bad and the ugly
Anger
The good, the bad and the ugly

2. Definitions? An emotion only?
Mix of thoughts, feelings and behaviours associated with annoyance. Extreme end hostility re person or situation.
Social script we learn do anger
Value laden emotion
Can be a shameful emotion

3. Good, Bad or Ugly ? Process, History, A current story,
Future influence

4. Bad for your health? Releases the stress hormones
Heart rate goes up 180 vs. to 80
Blood pressure goes up
The flight or flight response
Chronic or ruminative anger
Increased risk of heart disease stroke
Digestion problems
Repairing relationships
Stuck with resentments or bitterness
Reduces general performance and problem solving
For some gives permission for aggression

5. You will not be punished for your anger you will be punished by your anger.

6. Helpful Alerting Survival Motivator for change
Expressing it in a useful way that does not hurt others

7. When is it a problem?

8. Problem You recognize your are overreacting
Do you feel you need to get angry to get what you want?
Someone alerts you
Wake –up call
Causing damage we regret
People state they are afraid of raising difficulties with you because of your anger

9. Myths of anger Venting is healthy
Anger is instinctual vs. we thrive on nurturance
Anger always leads to aggression
Anger is beyond our control

11. Anger formula Don’t react respond Don’t’ buy the myths – venting
Responding to anger is not an easy skill, many ups and downs but it can be learned, it needs to be practiced.

12. Why do chief executives get paid more than surgeons?

13. Tasty baits INJUSTICES Unfair, Wrong,
Improper, inconsiderate selfish, biased
“ bad”
INCOMPTENCES
Inept,
Inadequate,
Stupid, lazy, unprofessional

14. Respect… Territory How to swim on buy
Hook book
Anger event Hook
partner T.V Unfair
Who was involved?
How did it feel ?
How did you react?
What was the hook?

15. Needs not being met ? How would I change the situation if I could ?
Have I encountered this before?
Did I bite in the past? Damage or enduring consequences ?
What is my need right now ? What will it mean if my need is not met?
Identify need before you are hooked

16. Fill the need or adjust/accept
ACT Accept thoughts and feelings rather than fight, Choose a direction, Take action
Acceptance is not about passivity
Riding the tiger
Responding to anger with compassion rather than guilt
Treating your anger like a baby.

17. Other strategies
Lifestyle / diet etc. Increase opposite experience / emotion
Examine your values, thinking or self talk
Take time out
Benefits of tolerance
Use distraction
Learn assertiveness

19. More strategies Rehearse visualize responding in your preferred way
Rehearse with a friend
Take an opportunity to practice
Count to 10
Humour
Remember that change takes time