1. OPENING THE DOORS TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION (LO 9)
Identify problem ownership.
Explain the six steps involved in the conflict resolution through supportive - confrontation strategy.
Organize your conflict resolution rehearsal.
Describe I-messages and you messages.
Describe two goals to accomplish when meeting to confront a conflict.
Describe the characteristic differences between a conversation and a sell-job.

2. Conflict Resolution Through Supportive Confrontation
When some need is not being met and someone is bothered
Step 1 – Identify problem ownership using your “window on behaviour”
Step 2 – Research and reflect
Step 3 – Select an alternative to follow using the “three alternatives rule”
Step 4 – Rehearse
Step 5 – Meet to resolve the conflict
Step 6 – Follow through and follow up

3. Step 1 - Identify Problem Ownership Using Your “Window On Behaviour”
Must answer “who owns the problem”?
Usually the one who is bothered
Look out the window onto your world
Dots represent behaviours, events, or situations
Top pane –acceptable area
Bottom pane – unacceptable – problem area
Looking into mirror – helps in recognizing your own behaviour

4. Step 2 – Research & Reflect
Check out facts and test assumptions and perceptions
Is the problem real or imagined?
What are underlying reasons for the problem behaviour?
What is the motivation for the behaviour?
Are assumptions true?
What is not known about the problem?

5. 2. Change your environment - change or remove yourself
Step 3 – Select an Alternative to Follow Using The “Three Alternatives Rule”
When someone’s behaviour or a situation causes a problem – three things that can be done:
1. Change your attitude – move behaviour from unacceptable to acceptable
2. Change your environment - change or remove yourself
3. Confront the person about his or her behaviour - attempt to change their behaviour

6. Step 4 - Rehearse Make your rehearsal as real as possible
To a friend
Different ways
The more serious the conflict the more need for rehearsal
Practice talking and listening – refine skills
Opportunity to experience emotion – must learn to manage your emotions
Experiencing emotion in rehearsal helps manage and reduce emotion in real

7. Step 5 – Meet to Resolve Conflict
1st Goal - Make the other person aware of your problem within a “supportive atmosphere”
Supportive confrontation and not to recommend solutions

8. Supportive Atmosphere Tips
Tip 1-Engage in conversation not a “sell-job”
Conversations have no set agenda (outcome determined by the conversation)
Sell-job – persuasive speech with intended outcome
Hidden Agendas – primary obstacles to supportive atmospheres

9. Supportive Atmosphere Tips
Tip 2 – Eliminate anger – enemy to any negotiation (destroys atmosphere)
Sometimes difficult but can be controlled
Rehearsals help
You own your anger (giving this up, gives power to other - makes one more vulnerable in negotiation)
Put-downs are intended to anger

10. Supportive Atmosphere Tips
Tip 3 – Send I messages, not you messages
These are honest statements indicating what you genuinely feel
Much less apt to provoke resistance, anger or resentment because ownership of feeling placed with the one having it
You messages – send compliments or insults
Increase conflict or even initiate it
Indicative of low-level maturity
2nd Goal - Engage in Conflict Resolution (Change or don’t change)

11. Step 6 – Follow Through and Follow up
Implement the solution and follow up periodically
Sometimes solutions work in the short run but will fail in the long run
Sometimes solutions create unforeseen problems and must be reworked