1. Welcome to Staff/Pastor Parish Relations Committee Training Beyond Conflict

2. Roadmap: Roles and Responsibilities Short Break Beyond Conflict

3. Philippians 2:1-8 CEB Therefore, if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort in love, any sharing in the Spirit, any sympathy, complete my joy by thinking the same way, having the same love, being united, and agreeing with each other.

4. Philippians 2:1-8 CEB Don’t do anything for selfish purposes, but with humility think of others as better than yourselves. Instead of each person watching out for their own good, watch out for what is better for others.

5. Philippians 2:1-8 CEB Adopt the attitude that was in Christ Jesus: Though he was in the form of God, he did not consider being equal with God something to exploit.

6. Philippians 2:1-8 CEB But he emptied himself by taking the form of a slave and by becoming like human beings. When he found himself in the form of a human, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.

7. Role What is the role of the S/PPRC?

8. Role What is not the role of the S/PPRC?

9. confer encourage consult monitor develop Interpret support cooperate communicate educate approve respect recommend counsel enlist arrange inform evaluate

10. coerce manipulate control dictate rule command instruct order regulate burden boss restrict demand govern direct

11. Expectations “People serving on this committee must be engaged in and attentive to their Christian spiritual development so as to give proper leadership in the responsibilities with which the committee is entrusted.” (BOD ¶ 258.2)

12. Expectations Committee Makeup 5-9 people plus Lay Leader & Lay Member Young adult/ Youth No staff member/ no staff family member Only one per household

13. Expectations Terms Three classes, three years each Maximum of six years (two rotations) Exceptions may be Lay Leader/Lay Member

14. Expectations Meetings At least quarterly First 6 months to 1 year- monthly Ideal- every other month Pastor shall be present

15. Expectations Confidentiality “The committee shall meet in closed session, and information shared in the committee shall be confidential.” (BOD ¶ 258.2)

16. Appointive Process November: Request for change of appointment November: Profiles for pastor and congregation January: Cabinet retreat January--June: Introductions

17. Appointive Process: S/PPRC Role Interpretive Confidential Consultative

18. Practical Matters Vacation Continuing Education Connectional Responsibilities

19. Practical Matters Employment Policies

20. Practical Matters Evaluations Do Your Best Yearly Goal is Growth

21. Q & A Time

22. Church Conflict “If we could take the energy of church critics and antagonists into reaching people with the gospel, our churches would become evangelistic forces. Unfortunately in many churches, members expend most of their energies criticizing leadership and others, and fighting over trivial issues.” –Thom Rainer

23. Conflict Inevitable Resolve it? Manage it? Allow it to manage us?

24. Correct Teach & Communicate Listen & Learn about the person’s world Build the relationship Get out of the box/ Be outward focused Helping things go right (Supporting the person) Dealing with things that are going wrong (Challenging the person)

25. Correct !!! Teach & Communicate Listen & Learn about the person’s world Build the relationship Get out of the box/ Be outward focused Helping things go right (Supporting the person) Dealing with things that are going wrong (Challenging the person)

26. Correct Teach & Communicate Listen & Learn about the person’s world Build the relationship Get out of the box/ Be outward focused Helping things go right (Supporting the person) Dealing with things that are going wrong (Challenging the person)

27. The Escalating Stages of Church Conflict 1. (Sometimes) An uncomfortable feeling 2. A problem emerges 3. A person to differ with 4. A dispute to win 5. A person to verbally attack 6. My “face” to save 7. A person to expel, withdraw from, or ruin 8. The aftermath

28. How to deal with conflict Honesty Trust Give Good Feedback

29. How to deal with conflict Negotiate Expectations Name them Dialogue Set Priorities Be supportive Be realistic

30. How to deal with conflict Communicate No Comparison

31. What if conflict has reached a crisis stage? When is it time to bring in outside help? When is it time to bring in the DS/ Asst DS?

32. Healthy vs. Happy

33. Q & A Time