1. Family Relationships
Chapter 5

2. The Family is often called “the basic unit of society”
Why? This is where children are raised and values are learned. (Where we first learn to relate to others)
The Family and Social Health
In a healthy relationship with family members, children learn: 1. To love and respect
2. To get along with others
3. To function as a part of a group

3. Families Today
Families Today Versus Families in the 1950’s

4. The Changing Family Cause: More women in the work force.
Effect : a. families spend less time together, parents must trust others to care for their children.
Cause: High divorce rate
Effect: b. changes in family structure and finances, could affect health of family members.
Cause: Postponing marriage
Effect: c. familes are smaller, more women have no children

5. Family Forms Nuclear Family
Consist of a couple and their child or children living together in one household. This includes the couple’s biological children or adopted children.
Single-Parent Family
Only on parent lives with the child or children.
Extended Family
A group of close relatives living together or near each other.

6. Family Forms Blended Family
A biological parent, a stepparent, and the children of one or both parents.
Foster Family
An adult or couple cares for children whose biological parents are unable to care for them.
Other Families: Married couples without children OR a group of unrelated people who choose to live together.

7. Responsibilities Within the Family
Adult Responsibilities:
Providing for basic needs, setting rules, socialization
Children’s Responsibilities:
Following rules, doing homework, tidying up after self.
Responsibilities of All Family Members:
Doing household chores, caring for other family members, helping each other.

8. Family Problems Four Sources (causes) of Stress on Families
1. Illness: When one member of the family is ill, everyone worries about the outcome of the illness.
Will the person recover?
Will the family change?
Focus on ill person may make others feel ignored, then guilty for thinking of themselves.

9. Four Sources(Causes) of Stress on Families
Financial problems:
Possible causes of financial problems are:
Serious illness
Divorce
Loss of job
Adults may feel guilty because they are unable to provide for their families.
Children may feel angry/frustrated because they don’t have things friends have.
Both may worry about the future.

10. Four Sources(Causes) of Stress on Families 3. Separation and divorce
EVERY family has CONFLICTS: NORMAL OR EXTREME?
Separation- An arrangement where spouses live apart and try to work out their problems. If a couple is not able to work out their differences then, a separation may lead to divorce.
Divorce is painful for the entire family. Children have a range of emotions: resentment, guilt, sadness, anger, or embarrassment. They often blame themselves. But children are not to be blamed for the parents’ problems!!

11. Four Sources(Causes) of Stress on Families
Drug abuse When a person in a family has a
problem with drugs it can affect the whole family.
May be embarrassed or worried
May be scared to go home or to bring friends home for fear that the person abusing drugs will be violent.
Getting Help: Group meetings open to anyone.
Al-Anon- organization that helps people cope with a family member who has drug or alcohol problems.
Alateen- provides help for teens who have an alcoholic in the family.

12. Family Violence
Violence can occur in all kinds of families-rich or poor, urban or rural, uneducated or educated.
One person’s desire to have power or control over others.
The violence may be physical, sexual, or emotional.
Domestic abuse- The abuse of one spouse by the other.

13. Types of Abuse of Children by Adults
Physical abuse is intentionally causing physical harm to another person.
What is considered abuse? When an adult punishes a child and leaves a mark that can be seen the next day.
A physically abused child may:
Avoid going home
Start to think they are responsible for the beatings
Think if they could figure out the right way to behave, the abuse would stop
Victims are not responsible for the abuse. Only the abuser is responsible.

14. b. Sexual abuse-When an adult uses a child or adolescent for sexual purposes.
Criminal offense
Can happen to boys or girls
Typically someone the child knows well. (Family friend, parent/stepparent,
older sibling, other relative)
Causes victims to feel guilt and shame.
In victims mind, he or she assumes responsibility for the abuse.
Causes victim difficulty in trusting others and developing caring relationships.
No one has the right to touch you without your consent! Talk to someone you trust.

15. C. Emotional abuse- nonphysical mistreatment of a person
(verbal) “You rotten, no-good punk, you never do anything right.”
Doesn’t leave visible scars but leaves victims feeling helpless inadequate, or worthless. Children who are emotionally abused need help just as much as children who are physically or sexually abused.
D. Neglect- When adults fail to provide the basic needs of children.
When the basic need such as food, security, socialization, and love are not met, children can feel they do not belong.
Victims of neglect often have trouble developing a health personality.
Can be removed from the parents’ home.

16. Runaway- a child who leaves home without permission and stays away for at least one night or two nights for teens 15 or older.
Why do they leave home?
Violence in their families
Emotional problems
School failure
Angry about family rules they think are too strict
Many runaways end up with no place to live and no means of support. They become ill or turn to crime, become easy targets for people who are involved in prostitution, pornography and drugs.

17. If you or someone you know is thinking of running away…
Your owe it to yourself to call your runaway hotline. (Search online or call directory assistance)
What type of help is available to runaways?
Shelters for homeless youth
Hotlines like the National Runaway Switchboard, arrange for free bus rides home and arrange a call to negotiate a course of action before the runaway returns home. They help the family find resources to rebuild their relationships.

18. Assignment Read the scenarios, select one to role play with a group.
My friend Paul is planning to run away from home. I think this is a bad decision, but he won’t listen to me. What can I do to change his mind?
What you say to Paul depends on why he is planning to runaway.
If Paul wants to run away because he thinks his parents are too strict, stress the dangers that runaways face. Also, help him think of strategies he can use to convince his parents to allow him more freedom.
If Paul wants to runaway because he is being abused, encourage him to talk to a trusted adult who can arrange for a safe place to live OR advise him to call an abuse hotline.

19. Keeping the Family Healthy
Most families in the U.S. are happy with the way their families function. (Even teens)
Characteristics of Healthy Families
a. Caring and Commitment
Care about each other and are committed to staying together through good and bad times.
When one family member makes a mistake, the others offer support, even if they are angry or disappointed.

20. b. Respect and Appreciation
Family members make each other feel important by showing that they appreciate what is done for them.
Thank them
Praise them

21. c. Empathy
The ability to understand another person’s thoughts or feelings.
Having empathy allows family members to look at situations from the other person’s viewpoint.
d. Communication
Family members can tell each other what they honestly think and feel. They should listen with respect to what others have to say.
e. Cooperation
Responsibilities are divided fairly among family members. Each person does what he or she says they will do.

22. Useful Skills for Families
Why do families have conflicts?
Often a struggle for power- Teens want control over own lives/Parents want the family to function in ways they believe best.
Siblings compete for parents’ attention, for possessions, and for recognition.
Resolving conflicts- Talk openly, honestly, and lovingly. The goal is to learn from one another.
Good communication skills are key!! Say what you mean, listen to others, disagree respectfully.

23. Expressing emotions
Focus on your own feelings and make statements like “I get upset when…” or “I feel _____ when…” Use “I” statements instead of “You” statements.
Listen to the other person’s concerns.
Be able to say: I’m sorry, Thank you, I love you. Don’t judge or blame.
If family members feel loved and appreciated, they are often more willing to help solve problems.

24. Making decisions
Families often use decision making skills to solve conflicts.
Think of alternatives
Choose solutions that work for everyone involved.
Example: You promised your mom weeks ago that you would baby-sit tonight but a friend called and has free tickets to the movies.

25. Managing time
Between work, school and chores, most families don’t have much time to spend together.
Making the Most of Family Time
Develop family traditions; celebrate occasions in special ways.
Make mealtimes special. Try to eat together and share the day’s events.
Hold family meetings. Discuss important issues or problems; make plans to do things together.
Show that you care. Do an unassigned chore; give a sincere compliment.

26. Getting Help for the Family
Sources of help for families
Family agencies- May offer counseling, parenting classes, protection for children, and help meeting basic needs.
Family therapists- Help family members find better ways to solve problems, encourage all family members to take part.
Support groups- A network of people who share information and discuss their experiences with a particular problem.