1. CHAPTER SIX Communication

2. Communication in Negotiation Communication processes, both verbal and nonverbal, are critical to achieving negotiation goals and to resolving conflicts.  Negotiation is a process of interaction  Negotiation is a context for communication subtleties that influence processes and outcomes

3. What Is Communicated during Negotiation?  Offers, counteroffers, and motives  Information about alternatives  Information about outcomes  Social accounts Explanations of mitigating circumstancesExplanations of mitigating circumstances Explanations of exonerating circumstancesExplanations of exonerating circumstances Reframing explanationsReframing explanations  Communication about process

4. How People Communicate in Negotiation  Selection of a communication channel Communication is experienced differently when it occurs through different channelsCommunication is experienced differently when it occurs through different channels People negotiate through a variety of communication media – by phone, in writing and increasingly through electronic channels or virtual negotiationsPeople negotiate through a variety of communication media – by phone, in writing and increasingly through electronic channels or virtual negotiations Social presence distinguishes one communication channel from another.Social presence distinguishes one communication channel from another.  the ability of a channel to carry and convey subtle social cues from sender to receiver

5. How People Communicate  Use of language Logical level (proposals, offers)Logical level (proposals, offers) Pragmatic level (semantics, syntax, style)Pragmatic level (semantics, syntax, style)  Use of nonverbal communication Making eye contactMaking eye contact Adjusting body positionAdjusting body position Nonverbally encouraging orNonverbally encouraging or discouraging what the other discouraging what the other says says

6. Communication skills  Active listening  Skillful questioning  Paraphrasing  Reframing  Sending clear messages messages

7. How to Improve Communication in Negotiation  Use of questions: two basic categories ManageableManageable  Cause attention or prepare the other person’s thinking for further questions: “May I ask you a question?”“May I ask you a question?”  getting information “How much will this cost?”“How much will this cost?”  generating thoughts “Do you have any suggestions for improving this?”“Do you have any suggestions for improving this?”

8. How to Improve Communication in Negotiation  Use of questions: two basic categories Unmanageable questionsUnmanageable questions  Cause difficulty “Where did you get that dumb idea?”“Where did you get that dumb idea?”  give information “Didn’t you know we couldn’t afford this?”“Didn’t you know we couldn’t afford this?”  bring the discussion to a false conclusion “Don’t you think we have talked about this enough?”“Don’t you think we have talked about this enough?”

9. SKILLFUL QUESTIONING SKILLFUL QUESTIONING  General – most open What’s on your mind?What’s on your mind? What can you tell me about this situation?What can you tell me about this situation? What happened?What happened?  Opinion Seeking – open What do you think would be fair?What do you think would be fair? What is most important to you?What is most important to you? What is your reaction to my proposal?What is your reaction to my proposal?  Fact Finding – somewhat open Who needs to approve this?Who needs to approve this? When is the deadline?When is the deadline? Where, What, When, How?Where, What, When, How?

10. SKILLFUL QUESTIONING SKILLFUL QUESTIONING  Narrow Direct or Forced Choice – mostly closed Did you tell me before it happened?Did you tell me before it happened? Will you be there before 5 o’clock?Will you be there before 5 o’clock? Will you accept my version of the agreement w/o any changes?Will you accept my version of the agreement w/o any changes?  Leading – closed Isn’t it true that there is no alternative?Isn’t it true that there is no alternative? Didn’t you say that it would be done without fail by Tuesday?Didn’t you say that it would be done without fail by Tuesday?

11. How to Improve Communication  Listening: three major forms 1.Passive listening: Receiving the message while providing no feedback to the sender 2.Acknowledgment: Receivers nod their heads, maintain eye contact, or interject responses 3.Active listening: Receivers restate or paraphrase the sender’s message in their own language

12. Listening is Important and Powerful  Good listening is helpful in and of itself  Builds trust and rapport  Deescalates/calms  Creates clarity  Listening is a precursor to problem- solving  Feels like a “gift”--everyone wants to be heard

13. What’s “Active” About It?  Requires work and concentration  Two-way

14. Three ways of looking at Active Listening – Set of skills (e.g. open-ended questions) – Ability to focus/concentrate -- focused on all aspects of speaker’s communication, setting aside my own issues for the moment. – Attitudes (ideally): I care what this person has to say I care what this person has to say I’m sincerely curious about how this person sees I’m sincerely curious about how this person seesthings I’m willing to withhold judgment and accept this I’m willing to withhold judgment and accept this person’s reactions, perceptions, feelings as legitimate.

15. Active Listening Skills  Get the Story  Probe / Clarify Meanings  Listen for Emotions  Summarize  Value Silence

16. PARAPHRASING  Focuses on the experience of the speaker.  Important because: Lets speaker know s/he has been heard and understoodLets speaker know s/he has been heard and understood Receiver makes sure s/he gets it rightReceiver makes sure s/he gets it right Gives the speaker an opportunity to access the message and to modify itGives the speaker an opportunity to access the message and to modify it

17. REFRAMING  Redirecting, limiting, or shaping the perception of a message so that it is more constructive Message may have negative dimensionMessage may have negative dimension May contains threat, insult or offensive languageMay contains threat, insult or offensive language  Choose a positive interpretation

18. REFRAMING-Examples:  Reframing position to interest  Reframing a judgment to a problem  Reframing a blame to a need  Reframing a past to a future  Reframing an individual problem to a shared problem

19. SENDING CLEAR MESSAGES  Negotiators need to make sure they are understood  Suggestions Replace abstract concepts with Replace abstract concepts with concrete descriptions concrete descriptions Send I messages instead of You. Send I messages instead of You. Accept personal responsibility for Accept personal responsibility for interpretation. Avoid placing blame interpretation. Avoid placing blame and putting others on the and putting others on the defensive. defensive.

20. How to Improve Communication in Negotiation  Role reversal Negotiators understand the other party’s positions by actively arguing these positions until the other party is convinced that he or she is understoodNegotiators understand the other party’s positions by actively arguing these positions until the other party is convinced that he or she is understood Negotiators realize that increasing understanding does not necessarily lead to easy resolution of the conflictNegotiators realize that increasing understanding does not necessarily lead to easy resolution of the conflict

21. Special Communication Considerations at the Close of Negotiations  Avoiding fatal mistakes Keeping track of what you expect to happenKeeping track of what you expect to happen Systematically guarding yourself against self- serving expectationsSystematically guarding yourself against self- serving expectations Reviewing the lessons from feedback for similar decisions in the futureReviewing the lessons from feedback for similar decisions in the future  Achieving closure Avoid surrendering important information needlesslyAvoid surrendering important information needlessly Refrain from making “dumb remarks”Refrain from making “dumb remarks”