1. Pupil Support Worker Conference 2015 Educational Psychology Service DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

2. Building Better Relationships Joanna Hookham and Tracey Ross West Lothian Educational Psychology Service DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

3. Recent research into behaviour in Scotland’s schools and exclusion statistics have shown encouraging and sustained improvements in recent years. Fewer and fewer children are being excluded and … there has been a positive impact in schools where there is a focus on social and emotional wellbeing and an ethos of mutual respect and trust Scottish Government Paper: Better relationships, better learning, better behaviour DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

4. Developing good relationships and positive behaviour in the classroom, playground and wider community is essential for creating the right environment for effective learning and teaching Scottish Government Paper: Better relationships, better learning, better behaviour DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

5. Aims Developing our understanding of behaviour and factors which can influence it Considering ways to build better relationships through effective communication DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

6. So you’ve had a bad day?? DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

7. So you’ve had a bad day?? DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

8. So you’ve had a bad day?? DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

9. So you’ve had a bad day?? DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

10. Life experiences and influences We all bring a range of experiences and influences to school. These influences can impact upon how we react to situations. DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

11. Brain development Care received as a baby strongly influences how the brain “wires” itself For social and emotional development, the most crucial influence is the emotional connection with the caregiver: the “attachment relationship” Sensitive and secure interactions and experience are linked to a wide range of positive outcomes: the opposite is also true DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

12. Jamie’ story Jamie is an 11 year old boy in Primary 7. One day his class are doing an end of unit maths test Jamie sits at his desk and refuses to do the test DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

13. Jamie’s story Jamie is a boy who likes to please and wants to do well His mum has an alcohol and drug problem Last night she threw a party which went on until 6am, so when Jamie woke up at 8.30am his mum was still fast asleep on the living room floor. DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

14. Jamie’s story Jamie has a 4 year old sister called Stacey. He can’t find anything for them to eat for breakfast, so he finds some money and runs to the shop to get a roll for Stacey. Jamie gets Stacey up, washed, dressed and fed before taking her to nursery Jamie was late getting Stacey to nursery and got frowned at by the nursery staff who asked him where his mum was DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

15. Jamie’s story Jamie arrives at school late He then remembers that he has the maths test and he couldn’t revise last night Jamie sits at his desk and refuses to do the test DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

16. What has happened to Jamie? What influences and experiences is he bringing to school? There are experiences, events and relationships which impact on children’s lives. Psychological/physiological factors may also be a feature. Any and all of these factors can influence their behaviour. Staff have little or no control over these factors. Children can display these behaviours as: Loss of personal power Need to maintain self-esteem Fear Failure Attention seeking Displaced anger DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

17. The Anger Onion https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bMcXVe8zIs DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

18. What can we do if Jamie’s behaviour is challenging, possibly because of difficult circumstances outwith school? React rationally by staying in control of our own behaviour and not taking acting-out behaviour personally: –Be in control –Be professional –Don’t make assumptions –Look for positive diversions –Be sensitive in communication Reacting to Jamie DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

19. Communication Activity DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

20. Effective communication is more than words Moriarty, Stanford University TVC Body Language Words spoken DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

21. Body language/non-verbal communication Threatening: Close proximity Face to face Towering above pupil Pointing, waving arms Prolonged eye contact Non-threatening: Appropriate personal space Facing at an angle 45º Sitting down if appropriate Open-palmed gestures Make appropriate eye contact DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

22. Total Voice Control Tone – supportive and calm Volume – appropriate to setting / distance Cadence – rhythm and rate DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

23. Active, empathic listening What it is: “Tell me more” Acknowledge feeling Minimal prompts Respectful curiosity Clarifying what speaker feels/needs Checks assumptions Accurate feedback What it isn’t: Judgements and put-downs ‘Shoulds’, ‘Oughts’, ‘Musts’ Interrogation Trivialisation Sarcasm Blame and accusation “You think you’ve got it bad…” DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

24. Asking the right questions Open: to help get the conversation started and encourage pupils to talk –“How’s everything going?” “How are you feeling?” Closed: good for when you need to know facts quickly, yes/no answers –“Do you have that homework task” Probe: slightly more pressure to steer the conversation to certain facts and issues –“Are you sure everything is ok?” “In those situations, how do you feel?” Hypothetical: can help pupils to think about things differently –“What would have happened if…?” “How would you feel if…?” Reflective/summary: shows you have listened and understood, allows you to clarify what the child is saying and gives them the opportunity to expand on it –“Things seem to be getting better don’t they” –“It sounds like you have…” DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

25. Restorative Questions 1.What happened? 2.What were you thinking? 3.How did you feel? 4.Who else has been affected? 5.What do you need / need to do? DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

26. Active, empathic listening DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

27. Empathic listening Colleagues who were telling the story: How did you feel when your partner was listening to you? What did you notice about your partner’s behaviour as you told your story? DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

28. The power of Active Listening “But let someone really listen, let someone acknowledge my inner pain and give me a chance to talk more about what’s troubling me and I begin to feel less upset, less confused, more able to cope with my feelings and problems.” Faber & Mazlish 1980 DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

29. Conclusions Importance of relationships within school Many factors influence behaviour – our own and that of the children we support Communication is vital in building positive relationships Effective communication is more than words DATA LABEL: PUBLIC

30. “A child’s life is like a piece of paper on which each passer-by leaves a mark.” Ancient Chinese Proverb What kind of imprint do you wish to leave? DATA LABEL: PUBLIC