1. Teresa Huang Peer Educator El Camino College: Dating Abuse and Healthy Relationships

2. Ice Breaker: Buzzer Exercise

3. Abuse doesn’t wait. It starts when dating starts. Break the Cycle is a leading, national nonprofit organization working exclusively on teen dating violence. We work with youth and adults in communities nationwide to prevent and end dating violence through innovative educational resources and services. Break the Cycle advocates for changes in laws and systems to better protect the rights and promote the health of teens nationwide. Break the Cycle believes everyone has the right to safe and healthy relationships. About Break the Cycle

4. To engage, educate and empower young people to build lives and communities free from domestic and dating violence. Our Mission

5. an INFORMED campus is a SAFER campus

6. “A pattern …” What is Dating Abuse?

7. “…of abusive behaviors”

8. A pattern of abusive behaviors used to exert power and control over an intimate partner Power and Control

9. Spreading rumors Constant put-downs/insults Hitting, pushing, scratching, spitting, or pulling hair Extreme jealousy or insecurity Mood swings Keeping a teen from spending time on extracurricular activities Isolation from friends or family Threatening harm to oneself Threatening to out a teen’s sexuality or gender identity Refusing to practice safe sex Refusing to use birth control or purposely damaging birth control Forcing unwanted sexual activity What does dating abuse look like?

10. Both guys and girls can be perpetrators or victims of abuse. Dating violence occurs in all neighborhoods, income levels, and ethnic groups. Dating violence happens in straight and same-sex relationship. Most abuse gets more severe over time. Abuse Can Happen to Anyone

11. The Impact

12. One in four teens in a relationship (25%) say they have been called names, harassed, or put down by their partner through cell phones & texting. One in three teens in a relationship (30%) have been text messaged 10, 20, or 30 times an hour by a partner asking where they are, what they’re doing, or who they’re with. Nearly one in five (18%) say their partner used a networking site to harass or put them down. One in ten (10%) report being threatened physically by a partner via email, IM, text, chat, etc. The Role of Digital Abuse

13. Pressure to take/send inappropriate pictures Threatening online to hurt oneself or others Checking someone’s cell phone to see who they talk to Harassing someone online Texting constantly to monitor a teen’s activities or whereabouts Stealing the password to an email or Facebook account and monitoring the activity Signs of Digital Abuse

14. Physical Sexual Verbal/Emotional Digital breakthecycle.org | loveisrespect.org| facebook.com/breakthecycle Types of Abuse

15. Extreme Jealousy Possessiveness Controlling behavior and setting rules Mood swings and explosive temper Constant put downs History of violence False accusations Financial control Isolation Excessive phone calls and check ins breakthecycle.org | loveisrespect.org| facebook.com/breakthecycle Warning Signs

16. fear of the abuser/friends or family language barriers embarrassment low self esteem hoping the abuser will change believing that abuse is normal cultural religious reasons lack of money breakthecycle.org | loveisrespect.org| facebook.com/breakthecycle fear of being outed pregnancy or parenting distrust of police nowhere to go reluctance to report abuser peer pressure “puppy love” phenomena Obstacles

17. Restraining Orders are Free. California state law allows minors to petition for a RO on their own at age 12. Child under the age of 12 must have a guardian petition on their behalf. California law does require the court to notify at least one parent or guardian of RO. breakthecycle.org | loveisrespect.org| facebook.com/breakthecycle Restraining Order Facts

18. Leaving an abusive relationship is often the hardest and scariest part of an abusive relationship. It is important to have a well thought out safety plan prior to leaving and abusive relationship. A safety plan includes…. A contact person Safety Route Resources Plan needs to be realistic and specific to the situation Visit www.loveisrespect.org to learn more.www.loveisrespect.org breakthecycle.org | loveisrespect.org| facebook.com/breakthecycle Safety Planning

19. Important questions to ask are….. What can I do to stay safe in my home? How do I safely get to work or school? Is there a safe place I can go when abuse happens? Who can walk with me from one class to another? Who can I call if I feel I am in danger? breakthecycle.org | loveisrespect.org| facebook.com/breakthecycle Safety Planning

20. It is important to think about what you want in your relationships… Make a list of Healthy and Unhealthy behaviors. Be aware of warning signs of abuse as well as signs of healthy behaviors. Relationships are not perfect, it’s ok to disagree as long as you communicate and respect one another. Everyone has a right to a safe and healthy relationship. breakthecycle.org | loveisrespect.org| facebook.com/breakthecycle Healthy Relationships

21. Set Boundaries Find the Real Issue Agree to Disagree Compromise when Possible Consider Everything While conflict is normal, your arguments shouldn’t involve degrading or humiliating comments. You should be able to express yourself without fear of retaliation. Take a Healthy Relationship quiz to learn more. breakthecycle.org | loveisrespect.org| facebook.com/breakthecycle Healthy Relationships: Conflict Resolution

22. Find the Right Time Talk Face to Face Do Not Attack Be Honest Check Your Body Language Use the 48 Hour Rule breakthecycle.org | loveisrespect.org| facebook.com/breakthecycle If you are angry remember to… Stop Think Talk Listen Communicating isn’t always easy. At first, some of these tips may feel unnatural or awkward, but they will help you communicate better and build a healthy relationship. Healthy Relationships: Communication

23. www.breakthecycle.org www.loveisrespect.org Resources facebook/loveisrespectpage @loveisrespect @loveisrespectofficial loveisrespect.tumblr.com

24. 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite1150 Los Angeles, CA 90045 PO Box 21034 Washington, DC 20009 Teresa Huang Peer Educator Christina-Marie Santillan National Community Organizer 310.286.3383 ext. 806 csantillan@breakthecycle.org breakthecycle.org | loveisrespect.org| facebook.com/breakthecycle Contact Us