1. TEN THINGS YOU DO THAT MAKE SQL SERVER CRY

2. JEN MCCOWN Microsoft SQL Server MVP recipient SQL Server developer and DBA  MidnightDBA.com MidnightDBA.com  Jen@MidnightDBA.com Jen@MidnightDBA.com  MidnightDBA.com/Jen MidnightDBA.com/Jen  Twitter.com/MidnightDBA Twitter.com/MidnightDBA  webshow.MidnightDBA.com Fridays 11pm CST webshow.MidnightDBA.com

3. 1.Design 2.Ugly code 3.! Performance 4.! Documentation 5.! Testing 6.! Understanding 7.Disk 8.Profiler 9.Indexing 10.Backups and maintenance OVERVIEW: THE 10 THINGS

4. THING 1: DESIGN Unreadable names Bad datatypes Duplicate columns Multipurpose columns No relational integrity And much, much more!

5. THING 2: UGLY CODE Ugly code is scary

6. THING 3: PERFORMANCE Cursors Nested views Lock hints Just not bothering with it…

7. THING 4: ! DOCUMENTATION Nobody likes making documentation: It's a pain It gets out of date Nobody reads it “Don't need it!“ "I can do it when the project is done!“ “I'll document myself out of a job!"

8. THING 5: ! TESTING 1. Code on dev or on a sandbox. Don't make changes in production! 2. Run your code...on dev. 3. Script out your deployment, and test that. 4. Have a rollback script, and test THAT. 5. Especially if you don't have a decent QA, watch the changes in production. Remember, "it always runs fast on the dev box".

9. THING 6: ! UNDERSTANDING Know before you GO

10. THING 7: DISK Disk Partition Alignment RAID levels Much more

11. THING 8: PROFILER Don’t run SQL Profiler on production SQL Profiler can bring down production Instead: Server Side Trace: The What, Why, and Howbit.ly/19x2wBD

12. THING 9: ! INDEXING Huh. Apparently this is an “index” clipart. Indexes are good! Use them… But there's a balance. Don't index every column of a table individually!

13. THING 10: ! BACKUPS / MAINTENANCE You need backups You need maintenance You need alerting Suggested: SQL Server Maintenance Solution http://ola.hallengren.com

14. OTHER RESOURCES All session materials available at MidnightDBA.com/JenMidnightDBA.com/Jen Contact me:  Jen@MidnightDBA.com Jen@MidnightDBA.com  Twitter.com/MidnightDBA Twitter.com/MidnightDBA Other resources: MidnightDBA.com SQLServerSamples.codeplex.com (AdventureWorks) SQLServerSamples.codeplex.com SSMSToolsPack.com Ola.Hallengren.com