1. Zachary A. Schaefer, PhD Educator, Practitioner, Researcher Mediation and Communication Solutions, LLC www.commsolver.com Eliciting and Narrating Meaningful Stories in Mediation

2. The Civil War The War for Constitutional Liberty The War for Southern Independence The Second American Revolution The War for States' Rights Mr. Lincoln's War The Southern Rebellion The War for Southern Rights The War to Suppress Yankee Arrogance The War Between the States MCS © 2013

3. What I Mean by Stories… Negative Connotations What I don’t Mean by “stories” So we’re all on the same page: Story Components/Vocabulary Narratives or Stories MCS © 2013

4. Overview Fisher’s Homo Narrans Connecting through Stories Useful Stories in Mediation Procedural Story Joint Narrative Productive Stories Ethical Dilemmas Storyteller’s Toolbox MCS © 2013

5. Fisher’s Homo Narrans Storytelling abilities differentiate us from other animals Stories are multifunctional For a story to be believable, they must exhibit: Coherence Probability Fidelity Resonance MCS © 2013

6. Connecting through Stories People tell stories to learn Meeting people New experiences Job training Excellent storytellers Live in the others’ language Involve the audience Attorneys and Analogies MCS © 2013

7. Divergent Storylines Mediation is useful when ongoing relationships are involved Powerful tools First listen, then ask questions Reality check about their understanding of the “future” Verbalizing their Story – Speak their future out loud Images of two households or perspectives Move from one narrative to two new stories MCS © 2013

8. Useful Stories: Procedures Introductory remarks Enabling and constraining Building rapport through transparency Ask clients if they want rules, roles, norms Expectations and understanding of the process Structures make people feel comfortable in tense situations Creating conversational structures is perceived as being fair MCS © 2013

9. Narration and Control How much control should a mediator exert over: The conversational process? Interruptions? The attorneys? Solving the problem? Omniscient Narration Inquisitive Narration MCS © 2013

10. Joint Narratives Move from two separate stories to one joint narrative Many strategies exist to begin helping clients envision the new narrative: Creative License Hypothetical situations Stories to be told about you... Intelligent Ignorance Twist on Socratic Questioning Face Saving Tension Breaking Put people at ease and make them feel like the expert. MCS © 2013

11. The Forest and The Trees Shift away from the immediate details of a conflict Life goals – past and future Life expectancies (78 year lifespan) Hobbies Remind people of a bigger picture and a new path MCS © 2013

12. Productive Stories Trial and Error Reflective Thinking Knowledge Management Reflexive Thinking In-the-moment Narrator error How’s the process working for you? MCS © 2013

13. Telling the Right Story (Ethics) “I didn’t know we set the bar that low…” Watch Your Mouth There Goes the Neighborhood Emotional Reactions Know Thyself MCS © 2013

14. No Context = No Story = No Understanding What is ContextElements of Context Frame of reference for understanding Holistic meaning “Out of context” Quote Mining Events and Stories Motivation/Intentions Relationship History Environmental Concerns Financial Situation Job Constraints Elicit and Eliminate Gotchas Cultural Issues and Values MCS © 2013

15. Storyteller’s Toolbox Facilitate Understanding Contextual Questioning and Listening Story Elements Assembling the Stories Transparent Hypotheticals Shift Focus between The Forest and The Trees Drop Professional Identities Remove Yourself from the Story MCS © 2013

16. Questions and Comments Thanks for Your Participation Zach Schaefer St. Louis, MO commsolver.com zach@commsolver.com twitter: @CommSolver MCS © 2013