1. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-1 Chapter 3 Improving Writing Techniques

2. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-2 Formal Research Methods for Gathering Information l Search manually (books, magazines, journals). l Access electronically (Internet databases, the Web). l Go to the source (interviews, surveys, questionnaires, focus groups). l Conduct scientific experiments (measure variables using control groups).

3. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-3 Informal Research Methods for Gathering Information l Search company files. l Talk with your boss. l Interview the target audience. l Conduct an informal survey. l Brainstorm for ideas.

4. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-4 Organize Information with an Outline Title I. First major component A. First sub-point 1. Detail, illustration, evidence 2. Detail, illustration, evidence B. Second sub-point 1. Detail, illustration, evidence 2. Detail, illustration, evidence

5. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-5 Organize Information with an Outline II. Second major component A. First sub-point 1. Detail, illustration, evidence 2. Detail, illustration, evidence

6. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-6 Organize Information with an Outline Tips: Define main topic in title. Divide the topic into major components (3-5). Break the components into sub-points. Strive to make each component exclusive (no overlapping). Don’t put a single item under a major component. Use details, illustrations, and evidence to support sub-points.

7. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-7 Organizing Business Messages Direct Strategy Main idea comes first followed by details and explanations Indirect Strategy Explanation precedes main idea

8. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-8 Organizing Business Messages Direct Strategy Advantages: l Saves reader’s time l Sets a proper frame of mind l Prevents frustration Indirect Strategy Advantages: l Respects feelings of audience l Encourages a fair hearing l Minimizes a negative reaction

9. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-9 Organizing Business Messages Direct Strategy Useful when: l Receiver is receptive l Receiver requires no education about topic l Message is routine Indirect Strategy Useful when: l Receiver may be upset l Receiver may be hostile l Receiver must be persuaded or educated l Message is sensitive

10. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-10 Effective Sentences Complete sentences have subjects and verbs and make sense (are capable of standing alone). Example: Subject Verb Employees send many e-mail messages.

11. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-11 Effective Sentences Clauses also have subjects and verbs. Independent clauses can stand alone. Dependent clauses rely on independent clauses for their meaning. Example: Dependent Clause Independent Clause When you speak, you reveal yourself.

12. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-12 Effective Sentences Phrases are groups of related words without subjects and verbs. Example: Phrase Phrase In the afternoon, I work at the mall.

13. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-13 Effective Sentences Avoid sentence fragments. Fragment Even though the pay was low. Many candidates applied. Revision: Even though the pay was low, many candidates applied.

14. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-14 Effective Sentences Avoid run-on (fused) sentences. Fused Sentences Two candidates applied only one was hired. Revisions: Two candidates applied. Only one was hired. Two candidates applied; only one was hired. Two candidates applied, but only one was hired.

15. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-15 Effective Sentences Avoid comma-splice sentences. Comma Splice Many were qualified, Jeff was hired. Revisions: Many were qualified. Jeff was hired. Many were qualified; Jeff was hired. Many were qualified; however, Jeff was hired. Many were qualified, but Jeff was hired.

16. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-16 Try Your Skill Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. You can create a Web-based job portfolio it will impress potential employers. You can create a Web-based job portfolio; it will impress potential employers.

17. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-17 Try Your Skill Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. Send a scannable résumé. When you apply for a job. Send a scannable résumé when you apply for a job.

18. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-18 Try Your Skill Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. Although technical skills are important. Communication skills are also in great demand. Although technical skills are important, communication skills are also in great demand.

19. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-19 Try Your Skill Revise the following to avoid fragments, run-on sentences, and comma-splices. College used to be for young people, however many older students now seek degrees. College used to be for young people; however, many older students now seek degrees.

20. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-20 Emphasis Through Mechanics Underlining: Which of these methods do you prefer?

21. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-21 Emphasis Through Mechanics Italics and Boldface: The use of boldface and italics captures the reader’s attention.

22. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-22 Emphasis Through Mechanics All Caps: Notice how EXPENSE-FREE stands out.

23. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-23 Emphasis Through Mechanics Dashes: Other methods–including dashes–may be used.

24. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-24 Emphasis Through Mechanics Font Changes: Changing from a large font to a smaller font or to a different font adds interest and emphasis.

25. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-25 Emphasis Through Mechanics Tabulation: Listing items vertically emphasizes them: 1. First item 2. Second item 3. Third item

26. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-26 Emphasis Through Mechanics l Other means of achieving mechanical emphasis include the following: use of white space, colour, lines, boxes, columns, titles, headings, and subheadings. l Which of the above techniques are appropriate in business letters? Memos? E-mail messages? Reports?

27. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-27 Emphasis and De-emphasis Through Style l To emphasize an idea: Use vivid words, such as in “bug-free software” rather than “dependable software.” Label the main idea. For example, use phrases such as more importantly, the principal reason, or the best alternative. Put the important idea first or last in the sentence. Put the important idea in a simple sentence or in an independent clause.

28. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-28 Emphasis and De-emphasis Through Style l To de-emphasize an idea: Use general, rather than specific, words (some customers complained, rather than 125 customers complained). Place the idea in a dependent clause connected to an independent clause containing a positive idea. Example: Although items cannot be returned for cash, you will receive store credit for any returned purchase.

29. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-29 Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs Active-voice verbs show the subject performing the action. Examples: Most major employers require drug testing. (Active voice; the subject is acting) Dr. Smith recommended Tina for the job. (Active voice; the subject is acting)

30. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-30 Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs In passive-voice sentences, the subject is acted upon. Passive-voice verbs require helper verbs. Examples: Drug testing is required by most major employers. (Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon) Tina was recommended for the job by Dr. Smith. (Passive voice; the subject is being acted upon)

31. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-31 Active- and Passive-Voice Verbs l Use the active voice for most business writing. l Use the passive voice to emphasize an action or the recipient of the action–rather than the actor (Specialists were hired; Laura was honored). l Use the passive voice to de-emphasize bad news (Although your lease cannot be renewed, we can offer... ).

32. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-32 Try Your Skill Convert the following sentence to active voice. You may have to add a subject. Our membership meeting was postponed by the president. The president postponed our membership meeting.

33. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-33 Try Your Skill Convert the following sentence to active voice. You may have to add a subject. The résumés of job candidates are sorted quickly by the software program Resumix. The software program Resumix sorts résumés of job candidates quickly.

34. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-34 Try Your Skill Convert the following sentence to active voice. You may have to add a subject. Computer paper was ordered yesterday. Rachel ordered computer paper yesterday.

35. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-35 Try Your Skill Convert the following sentence to passive voice. We must delay shipment of your merchandise because of heavy demand. Your merchandise shipment must be delayed because of heavy demand.

36. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-36 Try Your Skill Convert the following sentence to passive voice. The technician could not install the computer program. The computer program could not be installed.

37. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-37 Developing Parallelism Parallelism is a writing technique that creates balanced writing. Match nouns with nouns, verbs with verbs, phrases with phrases, and clauses with clauses.

38. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-38 Developing Parallelism Poor: The process of writing involves organizing, composing, and revision. Parallel: The process of writing involves organizing, composing, and revising. (Matches -ing verbs)

39. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-39 Developing Parallelism Poor: We are very concerned with the quality of raw materials, where they are located, and how much it costs to transport them. Parallel: We are very concerned with the quality, location, and transpor- tation costs of raw materials. (Matches nouns)

40. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-40 Developing Parallelism Poor: Serena takes the telephone orders, Matt locates the items in the warehouse, and the items are sent by Yolanda. Parallel: Serena takes the telephone orders, Matt locates the items in the warehouse, and Yolanda sends the items. (Matches active- voice verbs)

41. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-41 Unity l Unified sentences contain thoughts that are related to only one main idea. The ideas in a sentence are better expressed by separating the two dissimilar clauses and by adding a connecting phrase.

42. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-42 Unity Poor:Our customer service is excellent, and you may visit our website at any time. Unified:Our customer service is excellent. For added convenience, you may visit our website at any time.

43. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-43 Imprecise Writing Imprecise writing occurs when sentences twist or turn unexpectedly away from the main thought. To correct, revise it so that the reader understands the relationship between the thoughts.

44. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-44 Imprecise Writing Poor: The laptop that you sold me is excellent, and I have a vacation scheduled soon. Precise: The laptop that you sold me is excellent. When I go on my vacation next week, I’ll be sure to bring it along.

45. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-45 Try Your Skill How could parallelism be improved in the following sentence? Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storage, and sharing of best practices. Our knowledge management system focuses on the collecting, storing, and sharing of best practices.

46. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-46 Try Your Skill How could parallelism be improved in the following sentence? We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she has sincerity, she is reliable, and she works with diligence. We are pleased to recommend Elizabeth because she is sincere, reliable, and diligent.

47. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-47 Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers For clarity, modifiers must be close to the words they describe or limit. Be particularly careful to place a logical subject immediately after an introductory verbal phrase.

48. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-48 Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Poor: After considering the problem carefully, new procedures were suggested by management. Revised: After considering the problem carefully, management suggested new procedures.

49. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-49 Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Poor: Any student has full on-line privileges who is enrolled in the college. Revised: Any student who is enrolled in the college has full on-line privileges.

50. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-50 Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Poor: It’s hard to understand why employees would not go to our technical support staff with software problems. Revised: It’s hard to understand why employees with software problems would not go to our technical support staff.

51. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-51 Dangling and Misplaced Modifiers Poor: Using a search engine, the Web site was finally located. Revised: Using a search engine, we finally located the Web site.

52. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-52 Try Your Skill Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrase. To be hired, two years of experience is required. To be hired, one must have two years of experience.

53. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-53 Try Your Skill Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. Retain the introductory phrase. Dipped in butter, you can really enjoy a fine lobster. Dipped in butter, a fine lobster can truly be enjoyed.

54. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-54 Try Your Skill Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. She died in the house in which she was born at the age of 88. At the age of 88, she died in the house in which she was born.

55. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-55 Try Your Skill Revise the following sentence to correct any misplaced modifiers. To receive an employment form, fill out this application. (Tricky!) The sentence is correct as it stands. “You” is the understood subject of a command.

56. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-56 Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence To help guide your reader or listener from one thought to another, develop coherence by using one of these devices: 1. Repeat a key idea or key word(s). Next month we plan to launch a promotion for our new Web site. The promotion will involve newspaper and TV campaigns.

57. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-57 Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence 2. Use a pronoun. Considerable interest is now being shown in our extended GIC’s. They are more profitable when left on deposit for long periods of time.

58. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-58 Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence 3. Use an appropriate transitional expression. Time Association before, after first, second meanwhile next until when, whenever Contrast although but however instead nevertheless on the other hand

59. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-59 Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence 3. Use an appropriate transitional expression. Cause, Effect consequently for this reason hence therefore Additional Idea furthermore in addition likewise moreover similarly

60. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-60 Three Ways to Achieve Paragraph Coherence 3. Use an appropriate transitional expression. Illustration for example in this way

61. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-61 Paragraph Length Paragraphs with eight or fewer printed lines look inviting and readable.

62. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-62 Composing the First Draft l Complete all necessary research. l Find a quiet place to concentrate and work. l Prohibit calls, visitors, and interruptions. l Organize information using an outline. l Decide whether to sprint write (get your thoughts down quickly and revise later) or revise as you go. l Imagine you are talking to a reader or listener.

63. © 2007 by Nelson, a division of Thomson Canada Limited. Ch. 3-63 End