1. 1 Week 3 : Unclear Sentences & Translation Problems Matakuliah: EDITING Tahun: 2006 Versi: 01/01

2. 2 Learning Outcomes You are expexted to be able to use editing system to find and correct the mistakes in unclear sentences & translations.

3. 3 Editing and Proofreading Strategies for Unclear Sentences & Translation Problems Check the Thesis Statement and Organization Write down the thesis on a piece of paper if it is not directly stated in the essay. Does it accurately state the main idea? Is it in fact supported by the paper? Does it need to be changed in any way? On that piece of paper, list the main idea of each paragraph under the thesis statement. Is each paragraph relevant to the thesis? Are the paragraphs in a logical sequence or order?

4. 4 Learning Objective: Students are expected to be able to know and separate incorrect sentences from correct sentences.

5. 5 Steps in Editing Try to s-l-o-w d-o-w-n as you read through a paper. That will help you catch mistakes that you might otherwise overlook. As you use these strategies, remember to work slowly. If you read at a normal speed, you won't give the eyes sufficient time to spot errors.

6. 6 Steps in Editing You won't be able to check for everything (and you don't have to), so you should find out what the typical problem areas are and look for each type of error individually and learn how to fix those errors. Check the Writing for Abstract Subjects, Particularly Those you have Combined with Passive Verbs Try substituting concrete or personal subjects with active verbs. Original: More attractiveness is sometimes given an act when it is made illegal. Revision: When an act becomes illegal, some people find it more attractive.

7. 7 Cut out Wordiness Wherever Possible Original: They are desirous of... Edited: They want... Steps in Editing

8. 8 Use Active Verbs Since verbs tend to carry the meaning of the sentences, use the most precise and active ones possible. Thus, avoid constructions using the various forms of the verb "to be." Original: Inflation is a threat to our economy. Edited: Inflation threatens our economy.

9. 9 Steps in Editing  Avoid Using Stretcher Phrases such as "It Is" and "There Are," Unless Needed for Emphasis  Remember the need for strong verbs. Original: There were several reasons for the United States' entrance into the war. Edited: The United States entered the war for several reasons.

10. 10  Replace Colloquialisms with Fresh and more Precise Statements  Because colloquialisms tend to be used so often, they also are not very precise in meaning. A hassle, for example, can be an annoyance, an argument, or a physical fight. Original: Her behavior flipped me out. Revision: Her behavior first stunned, then delighted me. Steps in Editing

11. 11 Review the Sentences... Be sure that no parts of the paper are "short and choppy"; be sure that the rhythm of the paper is not interrupted, except for a good reason, like emphasis. A good way of smoothing out such a problem is to try combining sentences, and in so doing showing the relationship between them. Steps in Editing

12. 12 Original: The best show in terms of creating a tense atmosphere is "Jeopardy." This is probably the most famous of all games shows. It is my favorite show. Edited: The best show in terms of creating a tense atmosphere is "Jeopardy," which is also probably the most famous of all game shows and my favorite. Steps in Editing

13. 13 Paragraph Clarity 1. Locate the central idea of each paragraph. Reduce that idea to a word or phrase. 2. Look at each paragraph randomly. Consider only the information in that paragraph. 3. Ask yourself whether you offer enough details in the paragraph to support that word or idea. 4. Decide whether all of the details are relevant. 5. Ask yourself whether all of the information is related enough to be in the same paragraph. Should you create another paragraph or move some of the details to another paragraph? Steps in Editing

14. 14 Overall Coherence 1. See whether you have clear transitions between paragraphs. If not, clarify existing transitions, add new ones, and/or rearrange your paragraphs to make transitions clearer. 2.For more information, look at the OWL website on transitions and coherence.transitionscoherence Steps in Editing