1. FORGIVENESS FINDING PEACE THROUGH LETTING GO CHAPTER 2 FOR BETTER OR WORSE

2. Read Colossians 3:12-15 Last week we talked about small pebbles in our backpack. This week we move up to medium pebbles.

3. There are more serious sins that we carry around like boulders in our back pack. They include: serious and persistent deceit, physical and verbal abuse, addictions and infidelity. Some of these are so bad and deep seated we cannot get past them without help from counselors or a support group.

4. For these serious sins, it is possible for healing, forgiveness and reconciliation to occur, but this is far from a foregone conclusion. What happens when you have problems going through these stages when someone has seriously hurt you physically and/or emotionally?

5. Sometimes these serious sins occur within the bounds of a marriage. Some people say that God requires the wronged party to stay in an abusive or deceit filled marriage. How do you feel about this statement?

6. He says that a marriage filled with persistent deceit, addictions, or abuse has ceased to be a marriage as God intends. The author says marriage was not meant to be a life sentence or a time of torture, neither is the home meant to be a place of fear. What do you think about this? Do you agree? Why or why not?

7. A common form of sin in marriages or committed relationships is infidelity. One of the 10 commandments is you shall not commit adultery, but what is considered adultery in the Bible? Read Matthew 5: 21 - 32

8. If a married man is intimate with a woman who is not married or betrothed is that considered adultery? If a man is intimate either voluntarily or involuntarily with a woman who is a virgin and betrothed in the city who gets killed and how? If a man or woman divorces their spouse and remarries is that considered adultery? What if the wife had been unfaithful? What if the husband had been unfaithful? If a man is intimate with a married or betrothed woman who gets killed? If a man is intimate with a virgin who is not betrothed, who gets killed?

9. Read Deuteronomy 22:22-29 Read Mark 10:11-12 Read Luke 16:18 Read Matthew 19:9 What defines adultery today and does it match what was read in this verses?

10. In the OT, the man was not considered to be an adulterer unless he was intimate with a married woman. For example, Abraham (Hagar), Jacob (Leah, Rachael, and maidservants), Solomon (700 wives, 300 concubines). In the NT, the man was held accountable as an adulterer. The man and the woman were considered adulterers after divorcing and remarrying, as well as their spouses. Jesus says that the men were adulterers even if they lusted after a woman, no action just thinking about it. Do the laws in the Bible always coincide with God’s will or are they more in line with the society of the day? How do you decide which laws are valid in today’s society?

11. One of the main problems here deals with lineage and inheritance. A man had to know that he was the father of the child. The other main issue is that the woman had no rights and is considered as the property of the husband, therefore if a married woman is intimate with someone other than her husband then the husband’s property was violated.

12. Sometimes people forgive because it is the “right” or “Christian” thing to do. Do you sometimes feel obligated to forgive because it is expected of you as a Christian? A part of forgiveness is to rebuild trust. Sometimes the offending party has to carry the boulder until trust can be rebuilt. How hard is it to rebuild trust after the trust bond has been broken?