1. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
The amygdala in bpd seems to be overactive. Something like a visual stimulation (eg a picture) stimulates two pathways: one, the visual part of the brain so we get a picture of it; two goes to the limbic system, esp the amygdala which allows us to assess the emotional impact. The two pathways are integrated and form our appraisal of the picture.
The amygdala which signals danger and fear in pwbpd is overactive. So where someone w/out bpd would have a neutral response to a picture, a pwbpd may see danger. A pw bpd in response to a neutral situation could feel anger and fear.
The pre frontal cortex which controls higher order thinking, in pw bpd, is under active in comparison. This part of the brain can inhibit the response of the amygdala by calling into mind, logic and reason. The links between the emotional part of the brain and the thinking part of the brain are limited.
The good news is that our brains are ‘plastic’ and we can change them. How easy is this?
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

2. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
What is our role here?
To learn about bpd?
To learn techniques that will help us cope?
To support each other?
What are we doing here? Ans: learning how to improve our relationship with our loved one.
Can you change your family member’s brain?
Has what you have been doing worked for you?
What can you change?
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

3. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
How will what we do in this class help us improve our relationship with our loved one?
It is what we do outside of this room, week by week, that will show us how to change our thinking, change our brain, so we can achieve our goals.
This is the challenge of Family Connections: we learn, apply that learning, critically reflect on how it works for us. Who can tell me the serenity prayer?
We expect our loved ones to change their brain, to recover from bpd. Why don’t we see how easy it is to change our own ways of thinking. Every time we learn something new or do something differently, we change our brain….
(How do we learn the skills of validation so that we are automatically validating?
How do we learn to have values based boundaries, instead of boundaries that suit our fleeting emotional needs?
How do we learn mindfulness – we expect it of our loved ones. Then we can learn how to soothe ourselves and understand how we can meet our own emotional needs.
And how do we understand radical acceptance and apply it to our lives.
If we can do all this we will live happier lives, hopeful lives and our relationship with our loved ones and with everyone else, will improve.)
What can we do here, in this room?
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

4. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
Class practices:
Respect Co-operate Accept
The class values have become class practices.
I am very proud of our group, we are an intelligent bunch of people, a caring group of people, people keen to learn, keen to change. So, how can we improve our environment.
Look at this room, how we are seated. Can anyone suggest any changes to improve how we can practice our values?
Change where people sit. People sitting in different places, people sitting next to others they have chatted with, Jacqueline sitting next to me.
We will be inclusive, by allowing others to speak, by noticing when others haven’t spoken and holding back. The wise person knows there is more to be learnt by the ears than the mouth. We will speak clearly to allow everyone to be included, we will listen attentively, not thinking about what we want to say next, rather thinking about understanding what the other person is saying.
We will not turn our backs to anyone, using our body to exclude them. We will not engage in individual conversations (except when it is a short comment, illuminating and just has to be said). We will use our body language to communicate we are listening.
We will not try to ‘trump’ one story with another, we will not try to lose the focus of our conversation and our purpose here. If we talk about our loved ones as a story, it will be to illustrate how we have either made a mistake and how we can see the advantage of doing it differently, or it will be an example of how we are applying our learning and they are working or to ask of the group, how we could have done it differently.
We will accept that we don’t know the whole story of everyone. We can assume that people will have felt the fear of life threatening situations with their loved ones or themselves or a significant other; we can assume that some will have known severe economic difficulty; suffered depression and anxiety, these and more are common experiences in families with bpd and we won’t let appearances fool us. The one thing we all have in common is pain and grief watching our loved one suffer and the hurt and frustration of our fraught relationship with our loved ones.
Lets get on with our work tonight.
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

5. Relationship Mindfulness Skills
Research shows: “The more emotionally involved the key relative, the better the patient fared.”
Your homework for last week:
1. What was your relative like when he/she was a child?
a. What adjectives best describe his/her temperament? (one word)
b. What was he/she like to “soothe”? (one sentence)
2. What is your relative like now?
What is he/she like to “soothe”? (one sentence)
3. Bring in two examples of your own emotional reactivity patterns tracking each of the following:
a. High reactivity
b. High intensity
c. Slow return to baseline
4. Think about your relative now in terms of emotional reactivity patterns:
5. What environmental factors do you think were present for your relative when he/she was growing up? (one sentence)
Our first point to remember in this module is that research shows: “The more emotionally involved the key relative is, the better the patient fared.”
The research on ’expressed emotion’, how our emotional environment can affect us all, is important. So we start here.
We also need to do what is right for our own wellbeing.
The aim of this module is to give people a way of looking at relationships, to consider attitudes that can effect changes in their emotional climate. We are looking at changing the family environment in a positive way. Even if there is nothing a person can do to change a situation, there is control in how one might change reactions, how one deals with the situation.
The main assumptions of this lesson are 1) We want to find the right balance 2) there are some things we CAN control.
One consequences of these assumptions is that we may have to make changes in our behaviour. This may be uncomfortable because: perhaps we think the situation is not of our making, and so we question why we should change. Or, it might be that we cannot see our way to making changes, or even believe that the changes will make things better.
So, what is a validating environment?
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

6. What is a validating family environment?
It legitimises family members experiences, especially private ones;
It validates those experiences even when they do not sit easily with other’s experiences;
It accepts differences, doesn’t try to change them;
It does not seek to control through manipulation;
It communicates acceptance and caring;
It facilitates problem solving, problem management and coping;
It de-escalates invalidating behaviour.
 Focus
The aim of this module is to give people a way of looking at relationships, to consider attitudes that can effect changes in their emotional climate. We are looking at changing the family environment in a positive way. Even if there is nothing a person can do to change a situation, there is control in how one might change reactions, how one deals with the situation.
Can you write down how many characteristics of a validating environment fit your family?
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

7. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
Beware the FOG!
Fear
Obligation
Guilt
In a fog, we don’t see clearly
As parents especially we fear for our children, we fell guilty for where we went wrong, we feel obliged to fix the problem that is bpd. These emotions are not helpful to us, we need to shed them. There are things we can do to make things better, that is where our focus is.
Accentuate the positive
In this module, we are looking at the positive: developing validating family environments and the means by which we can work to attain them. We know that people in Family Connections groups are at different stages in dealing with the disorder, both in terms of their own emotions and their relative’s health. Some people feel really hopeless and it is important not to have sessions turn into venting arenas.
So if relational mindfulness is the positive, what is it? Any ideas?
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

8. What is relationship mindfulness?
Relationship Mindfulness is being mindful of another person, or your current conversation (or transaction) with that other person. This means paying attention to him or her, not judging, getting and staying balanced in your emotions, keeping in mind your relationship and that anything you do will have an effect on him or her and on your relationship (and in turn, back on you). Relationship Mindfulness is being present in the relationship with awareness, empathy, and no judgments.
In addition, we have to each find our own short-hand definition, our own way of thinking of the concept, and one that we can remember and practice. Some people put notes on the fridge, or in their journal, or notes on their computer. Putting the phrase in your own terms (which you may want to hold off doing for a while): “being there in the moment,” “keeping your cool,” “thinking and not just plain reacting,” “stopping the knee-jerk reactions,” “keeping the love in your life.”
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

9. Balance in Relationships
Me You My needs/desires Your needs/desires Logic/Emotion Emotion/Logic My goals Your goals My values Your values My problems Your problems My happiness Your happiness
Framing the situation
Like a videographer, we need to frame or get the picture in the frame, in context. This means that we have to stand outside of ourselves and recognize the interconnectedness of relationships. For example, if parents get too caught up in a situation, then they cannot pay attention to both people’s needs. We all become caught up at times, but the important thing is the overall control (not of the other person, but of the situation and yourself) that you do have.
Standing aside
The issue is how to avoid getting “sucked into” a situation. Some people ask: How would someone else see this situation? If the situation is one that repeats itself, some people find role play or deciding how to deal with the situation in advance helpful. In some cases, people have to just say they need a few minutes to consider what to do. If it is possible, talking about a situation in advance so that both parties know what the reaction is going to be can help someone stay in control.
A collaborative situation
You may not be able to keep the balance in all situations, and keeping the balance is not an “accounting.” It is a statement that this is a relationship and that relationships need to work so that both parties “win.” You are both on the same team. Some people find it helpful to think of a team analogy. Consider yourself the manager: there are a number of games in a season, and you might lose one game, but have a winning season. And that’s ok: you don’t have to be right all the time; you don’t have to convince the other person. You can validate, step back, and avoid a fight; in the long run, this approach feels more comfortable. It often feels that we use more logic than emotions and that our relative uses more emotion than logic.
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

10. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
Non judgemental
The key to Relationship Mindfulness is to be nonjudgmental. This means to see things just as they are, descriptively. No blame. No right/wrong or good/bad. Judgments are toxic to our own well-being and corrosive to our relationships. They get us more escalated. Don't put an opinion onto the situation, event, and/or person or assess things as good or bad. No judgments, no opinions, “Just the facts.” Fruzzetti (2006)
The key to Relationship Mindfulness is to be nonjudgmental. This means to see things just as they are. No blame. No adjectives.
Judgments are toxic to our own well-being and toxic to our
relationships. They make us more escalated. Don't impose your opinion onto the situation, event, and/or person or assess things as good or bad. No judgments, no opinions, “Just the facts.” Anything else is irrelevant.
Healthy ways to reduce judgments
“The punishment fits the crime” or the reaction fits the action?
Up until now, we have been talking about how to think about things. This is the first of the activities that require practice.
Learning how to be non-judgmental seems to be a lynch pin in dealing with family interactions.
People become vested in “being right.” We need to keep in mind that there are different ways to achieve an end, and different ways work for different people. Responses elicit different reactions and affect how you feel after a transaction. Imagine returning a household item to a store. How the clerk greets you and deals with the problem strongly affects your behaviour and actions, and, especially, feelings. An encounter can lead to a misunderstanding and/or to outrage and anger.
Parents need to be “right”
Parents feel the need to safeguard their children and “be right” about the morality and consequences of an action. We need to realize that we can be effective; we can appraise a risk without being judgmental. For example, if your child wants to go out with friends who you think might get him/her into trouble, it is reasonable to be concerned for your child’s welfare in that situation; however, this does not mean that the friends are “bad” or that the child’s desire to spend time with them is “wrong”. Getting caught in judgments like these makes it easy to forget that you and your child are on the same side, and that your main concern is for their well-being, not being “right.”
Find a mantra
In Relationship Mindfulness, what we need to think about is what we do and how we do it. The steps, and they need to be done one at a time without judgment, are to observe, describe, and participate. It’s a good idea to practice two or three times a day and even develop a mantra that will make you stop and think.
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

11. Healthy Ways to Reduce Judgments
Reducing Judgements
Healthy Ways to Reduce Judgments
What
How
Observe: just notice the other person
Non-judgementally: let go of ‘shoulds’ and right/wrong
Describe: attach words to the experience
One-mindfully: only pay attention to the other person or to the relationship
Participate: Involve yourself in the moment with you relative
Effectively: Reminder: you love this person even if you don’t like what they are doing
Role play between Ian and Barb.
Class to analyse how it went.
Validate
Listen and be a sounding board of reality (if that’s what they want)
If helpful to the relationship, you can then express your own emotions.
Note: the concept of validation is a complex one which we will consistently return to.
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12. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
Role play..\videos\DBT Micro Lessons_ An Animation About Validation.mp4
Select a person you do not know well to role play with.
Select who will be the person with bpd first, you will have a chance to change roles. If you need to stop and start again, you can.
Chose one from the selection below to role play:
A 16 yr old daughter with BPD wants to go to a party.
A 40 yr old daughter has to go to court for outstanding fines.
A 40 yr old husband came home very spaced out last night.
A 25 yr old daughter wants to move out of home.
A 60 yr old mother tells you how horrible your father was.
A 40 yr old sister wants you to come and clean her house.
A 16 yr old son doesn’t want to go to school.
A 40 yr old wife wants to go to a friends party without you.
A 25 yr old daughter was came home with a strange man.
Or make up your own….you have 3mins each.
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

13. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
We can see how emotions affect our body, we can see them in our brains. Our basic emotions stem from the limbic area of the brain, from the amydala. It is the neural pathways between this area and the prefrontal cortex that affects the people with bpd.
Emotion Management
Focus: to learn to identify emotions.
Knowing what YOU feel
We all know that communications can be difficult, but, hopefully, we come to realize that if we can keep strong emotions out of our thinking, judgments go and communication becomes more effective.
Again, the idea is to stand back and look at the big picture. In a situation where things are not going well, the aim is to stop escalation and depolarize. We need to stop the escalation, with our internal dialogue or mantra, and identify our emotions and the emotions of the other person so that we can validate them. Also, remember the lesson in Bambi: “If you can’t say nothin’ nice, don’t say nothin’ at all!” In some situations, just not making things worse is the best you can do.
What is an emotion?
We need to think about what a thought is and what an emotion is and the language we use to talk about emotions. Emotions are systemic. Most of us believe that emotions are distinct entities that arise in response to a thought or an event, but we make a mistake when we think that we are going from non-emotion to emotion. We are really going from one emotion to another; emotion is an ongoing, constantly changing process, rather than a static thing that you either have or you don’t.
Becoming aware of emotions
We need to become aware of what emotions are; how we read emotions in others; how we identify emotions in ourselves.
 We know that environmental events can affect emotions, as can our thoughts and feelings and memories.
 At times, we or other people might be vulnerable to high levels of emotion when we have not had enough to eat, or are suffering from sleep deprivation, or particular deficiencies (in diet, medications), other physical deprivations.
 Our reactions, too, are determined by our past experiences: we learn how to react to things by paying attention to cues in our environment, and we tend to interpret events based on what we’ve observed and experienced in the past.
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14. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
Emotion Management
1. Awareness of rising emotional arousal (using mindfulness) 2. Recognize and label the PRIMARY emotion accurately (Anger is often not the primary emotion. More typically sadness and fear are the primary ones.) 3. “Treat” the primary emotion: → by acceptance of situation, or → change of situation 4. Finally (and not before): Either avoid saying anything, go on with other activities, or engage the other person constructively.
So how do we identify what we are feeling?
Who here can recognise their anger?
Definitely do not act on anger, if possible. Anger pushes people away and a family member’s anger will stay with the BPD sufferer for a long time. Try to be a good role model of effectively managing anger, by expressing feelings clearly and nonjudgmentally and taking a break from the situation if necessary. Do not simply try to suppress anger, as a flat non-expressive face often is interpreted as not being emotionally engaged.
During the week go through the steps of Identifying Emotions when you are experiencing something that is emotional. Bring in an example.
If you need some time to think things through before you respond, allow yourself that time.
 We need to know that brain reactions can be affected by previous events, such as abuse, or other traumatic events. We know that we can change how the brain functions by talk therapy, by changing our environment. Medications can be also effective, for example, for depression.
So we know that if you can look into the brain system appropriately, you can make a difference, but we don’t really know all that much about where to start. Emotions are a multisystem event.
 Many of us are not 100% percent accurate in labelling emotions, even the ones we feel ourselves! Paying mindful attention to cues like facial expression, voice tone and body posture can help us to identify emotion in ourselves and others.
 An important step to take is to practice observing, describing, and recognizing emotion. This is not easy since humans often work hard to hide emotions and we all have different emotional make-ups.
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

15. Steps in Identifying Emotions
1. Events: a) external: environments; b) internal: thoughts, feelings
2. Vulnerability in the moment {If I am tired, sick, hungry, this will
amplify my emotional reaction}.
3. Interpretation and perception of the event {You can either make
malignant or benign interpretations. Try to give the benefit of the doubt.
4. Prior experiences/history {Is this the first time this has happened?}
5. Brain reactions
6. Facial expressions
7. Body posture {Relaxed and leaning forward shows attentive listening
8. Emotion labelling (accurate or inaccurate)
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

16. Primary and Secondary Emotions
▲ Primary emotion: initial response to a particular event; is normative, typically adaptive, effective. ▲ Secondary emotion(s): emotional response to a primary emotion. It is an emotional response to another emotion. This is usually problematic. ▲ Fear Anger ▲ Goal or strategy: identify the primary emotion; refocus away from secondary emotions.
Primary and Secondary Emotions
Recognizing the primary emotion
You can be so angry that you fail to recognize the primary emotion. We all know that “big” anger is almost always destructive, and it is good to realize that you can let go of anger by letting go of judgments. We have to look at the cause of the anger. If you are really angry or ashamed, you are missing something important, as it is likely you are feeling fear, worry, sadness, or disappointment.
An example would be the anger that you feel when a car cuts you off – the initial response (primary emotion) is fear, since the other car put you in danger; the emotion of anger only arises after you make a judgment (e.g. “what a jerk”).
The waterfall of emotions
We can start by looking at anger, and seeing it as a reaction. The question to ask: What am I missing? A familiar situation is the reactive emotion of a parent when a teenager comes in late. The parental fear of what might have happened (such as an accident) gives way almost immediately to anger following the relief felt when the teen walks through the door. The anger rolls over into judgment. “Where have you been?” “You should have known better!” The parent’s actions not only affect how the child will respond, but also how the child learns to express emotion him/herself. Does the parent just want to vent anger? Or regulate his/her emotions so that there is a change in the teen’s behaviour?
Focus on the primary emotion
It is important to stress that understanding what we are feeling is crucial. Expressing anger in an appropriate way is important both for our sense of self-esteem and also for the relationship. It’s only when you focus on the primary emotion and figure out what the trigger is that you can effectively manage the emotion. Again, an inner rehearsal of an event can help you regulate behaviour when the event happens.
Practice
One situation many of us have experienced is the kind of anger that is called “road rage.” Most of us have felt that “surge” when someone cuts us off, and almost forces us off the road – an overwhelming rush when you are taken unaware. If you can step back, if you think of possible reasons for the other person’s behavior, you can calm down, and feel less inadequate and threatened, and less anger. Relationship Mindfulness is really preparing yourself to avoid plummeting down the emotional slippery slope.
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

17. Secondary emotions happen in two ways
1. Repeated conditioning:
Sadness
Anger (feels automatic)
2. Mediated by judgments:
Anger
Guilt and Shame
Jealousy
(secondary emotional reactions)
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

18. Decrease Emotional Vulnerability
1. Take care of physical illness 2. Eat healthy/well 3. Get enough sleep 4. Exercise 5. Build a sense of competency, coping, mastery If you are healthier (physically and emotionally), you will react better. Give yourself the oxygen first.
Decrease emotional vulnerability and decrease emotional reactivity
Basic physical, emotional, and mental self-care
Most of us, as adults, have determined an approach to self-care, physically and, usually, emotionally and/or mentally. Often, our relative will have a crisis plan, and as a counterpart it is helpful if we have our own “crisis” plan. Without doubt, when someone in the family is ill, it places a strain on other family members, even for short-term occurrences like the flu. For longer-term illness or chronic illness, family members have to look to their own health. A practical approach is to have a written plan. It’s all too easy to forget the plan, let alone to actually take time to practice it. Experience, though, tells us that to look after others, we first have first to look after ourselves.
Change is not easy
If you look at the items listed in the Decrease Emotional Reactivity section, you will see that these suggestions are the same ones we would recommend to our relative. One thing we certainly have in common with our BPD relative is that we know that following these suggestions is hard work, and this makes us mindful of the interconnectedness we all have as human beings. These suggestions are easy to list, but very time consuming to practice so that they become automatic behaviours.
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

19. Decrease Emotional Reactivity
▲ Let go of strong anger in important relationships ▲ Use Relationship Mindfulness to sort out emotions, needs, wants and to interrupt your negative reactions, anger and toxic responses. ▲ Be mindful of your relationship and your goals ▲ Be mindful of appropriate and effective timing of discussions ▲ When tired, hungry or upset, remember that emotional reactivity is high for you and your BPD member ▲ Increase mindfulness of pleasant things that your family member does for you, you do for your family member, or you do together.
Come up with your best strategy to decrease your emotional reactivity and identify any underlying judgement, anger or resentment. Don’t be the self-righteous martyr because underlying this is judgement, anger and resentment.
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20. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
States of Mind:
Emotion Mind: This is where a mental place in which our emotions dominate our thoughts and often times determine our behaviours.
Linehan’s States of Mind:
Dr. Linehan identifies that we have three states of mind in which we function.
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21. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
States of Mind:
Rational Mind: The is the opposite of Emotion Mind. Everything is very logical and factual, behaviour is planned out and problems are dealt with in a matter of fact, cool manner.
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22. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
Wise Mind. This is the state we aim to function at in our lives. It
balances Emotion Mind with Rational Mind, creating an internal state that combines the rational with the emotional. This combined state provides us with a feeling of peace and a place of relative control. You CAN be rational and emotional at the same time. These do not have to be opposites.
What is the right mix: think of bath water. What is right temperature for you may not be the right temperature for me.
You can get to “Wise Mind” by following the steps of mindfulness: observe, describe, and participate; do so non-judgmentally, do one thing at a time, while focusing on being effective.
Exercise #6 What State of Mind do you function in primarily?
What particular situations bring you there?
Exercise #7 Be aware when you are in Wise Mind. What helps you get there?
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

23. Opposite Action (Linehan)
1. When we feel angry, acting counter to how we feel reduces the anger – for example being kind, or gently avoiding (rather than attacking). 2. When we feel afraid of something (that is not a threat to our life or true well-being), if we approach what we fear, we can decrease the fear 3. When we feel ashamed about something (that we cannot change, or are not responsible for) we can face it rather than run or hide from it. 4. When we feel sad, we can get active, involved in something.
Show Linehan’s tape here!
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

24. Relationship Mindfulness Summary
1. Be aware of longer-term relationship goals and desires (e.g., as a parent, partner, child). Try to avoid focusing only on the short term.
2. Experience yourself in the context of this relationship.
3. Act from this context effectively: remember this is someone you love, care about and who loves and cares about you (even if it doesn’t seem that way right now).
Exercise #8
Observe your Relationship Mindfulness with a non-family member: observe, describe and non-judgmentally
b) Practice Relationship Mindfulness once with your family member during the week using observe, describe, participate, nonjudgmentally, one-mindfully, and effectively.
Report on how it went.
In both exercises, notice your own reactions and describe them.
c) Practice noticing when you disagree with another person.
d) Note what happens when you let go of judgments and notice your new reaction.
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25. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
Practice exercises: 1. List how many characteristics of a validating environment fit your family Using the Relationship Mindfulness Skills, pick one interaction and use the “How” skills to help to reduce judgments During the week go through the Steps of Identifying Emotions when you are experiencing something that is emotional. a) Practice observing increasing anger and interrupting it. b) Look for what emotion you were missing when focusing on anger Come up with the best strategy for you to decrease your emotional reactivity. Cont….
1. List how many characteristics of a validating environment fit your
family.
2. Using the Relationship Mindfulness Skills, pick one interaction and use
the “How” skills to help to reduce judgments.
3. During the week go through the Steps of Identifying Emotions when you are experiencing something that is emotional. a) Practice observing
increasing anger and interrupting it. b) Look for what emotion you were
missing when focusing on anger.
4. Come up with the best strategy for you to decrease your emotional
reactivity.
5. What State of Mind do you function in primarily? What particular
situations bring you there?
6. Be aware of when you are in Wise Mind. What helps you get there?
7. a) Observe your Relationship Mindfulness with a non family member:
observe, describe, and participate - non-judgmentally.
b) Practice Relationship Mindfulness at least once during the week with your family member using observe, describe, participate, nonjudgmentally, one-mindfully, and effectively.
In both exercises, notice your own reactions and describe them.
c) Practice noticing when you disagree with another person.
d) Note what happens when you let go of judgments and notice your
new reaction.
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

26. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
5. What State of Mind do you function in primarily? What particular situations bring you there? 6. Be aware of when you are in Wise Mind. What helps you get there? 7. a) Observe your Relationship Mindfulness with a non family member: observe, describe, and participate - non-judgmentally. b) Practice Relationship Mindfulness at least once during the week with your family member using observe, describe, participate, nonjudgmentally, one-mindfully, and effectively. In both exercises, notice your own reactions and describe them. c) Practice noticing when you disagree with another person. d) Note what happens when you let go of judgments and notice your new reaction.
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015

27. NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015
Module 3 summary video Or
NEA.BPD Aust: Barb Mullen July 2015