2. Defunct memory palace There was once a dodo bird in the ORHS writing center who insisted on typing on a manual typewriter. He misspelled defunct as “de-fun,” for he had been listening to rap music on his boom box. He turned to Christopher Giese and said, “What is the de fun of typing on those strange machines? There isn’t even any paper in them.” Chris shrugged and said, “It depends on what you like to google, and at least you don’t have to worry about Tyranosaurus Rex.” Tom Cruise, a six-year senior, didn’t understand, for he had no knowledge of paleontology. The dodo bird thought google was some kind of bird and began to look around the room for identifying feathers.

3. Perfunctory Vin Diesel barely acted in his last movie role, according to the LA Times. He showed up late and made up his lines as he went along. The Times said he made a perfunctory attempt at acting. That is because Vin had a date for the ORHS prom on Saturday night before the movie was filmed. He was so mesmerized by the lights in the ORHS gym as he danced with every girl in the senior class, including Hudson Brown and Natalie Cross, and Katie Zager, the prom queen. He didn’t phone in his dance, though, he rocked the NaNa.