1. The Vision-Driven Marriage Changing Yourself

2. 1. Identify and value who you were created to be.

3. Changing Yourself 1. Identify and value who you were created to be. 2. Be a safe person. 1. Identify and value who you were created to be. 2. Be a safe person.

4. What do I do that makes my spouse feel less safe in our marriage? ► Criticizing ► Angry Outbursts ► Threats (e.g., of violence, leaving, divorce, etc.) ► Ignoring issues ► Withdrawal (not addressing issues now or later) ► Sarcastic humor (without regard for feelings) ► “Your feelings are wrong/stupid” ► Judgment

5. Changing Yourself 1. Identify and value who you were created to be. 2. Be a safe person. 3. Take control by simplifying and slowing down 1. Identify and value who you were created to be. 2. Be a safe person. 3. Take control by simplifying and slowing down

6. SPEED TEST Answer 2 for “absolutely true,” 1 for “somewhat true,” and 0 for “not at all true.” I finish other people’s sentences when they speak slowly.2 1 0 I have an automatic reach response when my phone beeps.2 1 0 I almost always feel pressured for time. 2 1 0 I frequently eat meals while standing or moving.2 1 0 I consider going to the restroom a break in my day. 2 1 0 I often push the close door buttons on elevators. 2 1 0 I can feel my blood pressure climb in slow checkout lines. 2 1 0 I get frustrated when people are late. 2 1 0 I often do two things at once to save time. 2 1 0 I get crazy when people ahead of me are driving too slowly. 2 1 0 A score of 15-20: Your fast ways are very likely compromising your health and well-being. A score of 10-14: You’re a borderline speedaholic. You’d enjoy life more if you dialed back a bit. A score of 0-9: Bravo! You’re taking life at a moderate pace and enjoying life as it arrives.

7. Changing Yourself 1. Identify and value who you were created to be. 2. Be a safe person. 3. Take control by simplifying and slowing down 4. Engage the process of being whole and healthy 1. Identify and value who you were created to be. 2. Be a safe person. 3. Take control by simplifying and slowing down 4. Engage the process of being whole and healthy

8. On a scale of 1 (not at all) to 25 (totally), rate how well you care for yourself in each area. ____Emotionally (experiencing feelings, grieving losses, having healthy friendships) ____Spiritually (worshipping, bible study, prayer time, listening to God) ____Mentally (positive thoughts, sense of value and worth, growing intellectually) ____Physically (healthy eating, exercising, resting)