1. Childhood Bullying: What We Know – and Can Do Stuart Green, DMH, LCSW Behavioral Scientist, Overlook Hospital/Atlantic Health Associate Director, Overlook Family Medicine Clinical Instructor of Family Medicine, UMDNJ NJ Coalition for Bullying Awareness and Prevention www.njbullying.org (908) 522-2581

2. Olweus

3. Traditional view 'boys will be boys', 'girls are mean' = inevitable, the nature of children 'rite of passage‘ = growth experience, strengthening

4. Modern view – bullying is created by adults adult modeling of bullying behavior acceptance of bullying as normal inaction when bullying occurs exposing children to social systems in which bullying is implicitly accepted.

5. DEFINITION OF BULLYING A child is being bullied when: he or she is exposed repeatedly to negative acts by another child there is an intention to harm there is an imbalance of power so that the child who is being bullied has a difficult time defending himself or herself.

6. Bullying may involve either: direct actions (e.g., hitting, shoving, kicking, taunting, teasing, name- calling) indirect actions (e.g., avoiding, social exclusion, spreading rumors).

7. Teasing/Normal ConflictBullying Variability in roles (negative acts in both directions) Always the same target Primary goal is not to harm.Intent to harm Playful or limited in extent, because participants equal in power Harmful, directed at vulnerabilities, negative acts increase with target’s distress Relationship valued for mutual benefit, concern for other Seeking power, control or material gain as primary motive for relationship Remorseful, takes responsibility, makes effort to address problem No remorse, blames victim, discounts target’s point of view Modified from schwablearning.orgorig. Bullying at School, D. Olweus

8. Prevalence most common serious problem of the school-age child wide world range middle school years peak period prevalence 100%

9. All students affected (the Bullying Circle): as bullying or bullied as bystanders (active, passive, ‘activated’) feel afraid, powerless, guilty, diminished empathy tension, numbing, fears of openness and self-expression

10. Gender differences : boys more likely to bully (girls, boys) in girls, 'relational aggression' more common (manipulating relationships for negative effects on a peer) (boys also engage in this) boys more likely to be bullied by boys than girls.

11. Children who bully are more likely to: use alcohol and tobacco have lower academic achievement have aggression and anti-social behavior, including criminality be less empathic be more impulsive have individual or family problems have authoritarian parents BUT …

12. *But most children who bully: have good self-esteem adequate academic performance good social skills and are often popular (including with adults)

13. Bully/Victims: A small number of children both bully and are bullied. And tend to have more problems (to begin with, and as a result.)

14. *Characteristics targeted for bullying (not the cause): gender identify and expression (GLBTQ) obesity less strength, athleticism shortness learning differences special health needs obesity shyness, emotional expressiveness

15. Characteristics targeted for bullying (not the cause): poverty family problems being new in a school cultural or racial minority being or being perceived as gay Any perceived difference. Any child may be bullied.

16. * Children bullied are more likely to be: 'passive’ cautious sensitive insecure less assertive less strong more victimized or maltreated in the community or family more isolated, lonely, less ‘buffered’ (friends)

17. *BUT … These characteristics may also be consequences of bullying: isolation loneliness no ‘buffer’ (friends)

18. AND... These characteristics are: developmentally normal or difficult to change and children without these characteristics are also bullied

19. HARM: SPECULATIONS  Garbarino - teen pregnancy as a 'side- effect'  bullying a key negative impact on schools   'white flight'/inhibited adult-risk-taking

20. Another speculation about harm: Bullying more harmful than more recognized forms of violence (e.g., sexual harassment or assault, other criminal assault) because less societal/consensual recognition as wrongful/harmful. Victims internalize this and (therefore) are more likely to blame themselves (‘what’s wrong with me that they treat me this way’), and other may (innocently) support self-blaming.

21. But Here's What The Evidence Already Shows And Suggests There is strong evidence that bullying is remarkably harmful in the following ways:

22. 'Added injury' – In children already suffering or at risk from a wide range of illnesses, conditions and characteristics, bullying increases their vulnerability and suffering.

23. 'A source of problems' - Children may not have developed certain problems or developed the problems as severely if bullying had not occurred.

24. 'A sign of problems' – indicates that other serious problems are present

25. Added Injury (‘associated’ conditions) academic performance accidents and injury adolescent HR-QOL adult workplace bullying alcohol/tobacco and other drug use animal abuse anxiety Asperger's (and other dev dis)

26. (‘associated conditions’) binge eating disorder body dysmorphic disorder cancer childhood eczema chronic abdominal pain cleft lip and palate common health symptoms and doctor visits

27. (‘associated conditions’) depression diabetes self-management feeling unsafe at school IBD lack of help-seeking and self-identification in hard-of-hearing youth learning differences

28. (‘associated conditions’) low body satisfaction (after controlling for actual body weight), low self-esteem, negative attitudes toward parents/family obesity physical activity (including in youth who are obese) psychological health in incarcerated youth stuttering

29. A source of problems? anxiety/depression dysfunctional voiding (secondary enuresis, encopresis) obesity recurrent abdominal pain suicide weapon-carrying and school shootings

30. WHAT TO DO Dan Olweus (Whole School Model) school the most common site change the culture of schools involve all adults (then children)

31. WHAT CAN SCHOOLS DO? Change School Climate (preparatory)  positive relations and shared understanding between staff  increase positive staff-student interactions  not favor some groups over others (diverse clubs)  staff-student/community 'match' (complementary diversity) character education (social-emotional learning)  clear/consensus expectations ('how we do things here')

32. Bullying Prevention Program School-Wide: Administrative support Coordinating group/staff discussions/training Anonymous survey (pre-, mid-, post-) Anonymous reporting system Proactive effort to identify all incidents/relationships Supervise high-risk areas (schoolyard, lunchroom, school bus, team activities, locker room, cyberspace) Consistent rules and sanctions (well-known to students, staff, parents, community)

33. Bullying Prevention Program Classroom Clear, consistent rules Regular meetings Collaborative learning (‘jigsaw’ – Aronson) Curriculum integration (all subjects) Proactive work on relationships Parent involvement

34. Bullying Prevention Program Individual Meeting with each child bullied and parent (regret/apology, take responsbility, absolve) Meeting with each child who bullied (4 questions: what you did, harm it did, your problem, next time?) and call parent Consequences (reasonable, invariable, escalating)

35. Key adult actions: statements, rules, modeling and consequences which clearly convey to children, especially at school, that bullying is wrong an atmosphere of warmth, acceptance and support for diverse individual strengths.

36. Systemic approach works: reduces bullying incidents dramatically in 1st year improvements in subsequent years shown to reduce bullying substantially in well-done intervention studies in many different countries, including the U.S.

37. Be clear about what doesn’t work: Zero tolerance or ‘3 strikes’ Social skills training/psychotherapy as primary modalities Peer mediation and conflict resolution One-shot (e.g., assemblies) or short-term interventions.

38. What can parents do about bullying?  Good relations/communication with children.  Inform yourself.  Expect/ ask/ demand adequate school action.  Expect/ ask/ demand that owners of social networking sites and internet providers address bullying.  Ask your child how children treat other children at school (and how your child is treated); listening is more important than advice.

39. What can parents do about bullying?  When you hear children speak badly of another child, gently express discomfort, and empathy for the scorned child.  Be present at your child's school; don't wait to be invited, ask to volunteer.  Take action with other concerned parents.  Meet (as a group) with school leaders; ask specifically about school’s approach.

40. What can parents do about bullying?  Never ignore bullying, don't walk by; if you can't intervene directly, report it.  Support bullied kids in every possible way.  Seek legal advice and government support.  Don't accept leaders who bully, including teachers; speak out, insist on change.  Consider changing schools, if possible, as a last resort.

41. What Can Social Workers Do?  Screen for bullying involvement, consider bullying as a factor or even cause of presenting problems.  Proactive identification of at-risk children, creative support through school culture and preventive counseling.  Call on the school for corrective action, emphasize support for child/family.  Have a bullying-aware office/school.  Address negative leaders.  Creatively support at-risk kids.  As community leaders, expect schools to address bullying, raise parental expectations.  Be clear about what works and doesn’t work

42. OLWEUS: Our moral obligation to help bullied children.

43. NJ Coalition for Bullying Awareness and Prevention www.njbullying.orgwww.njbullying.org, (908) 522-2581 Stan Davis’ Schools Where Everyone Belongs www.stopbullyingnow.com) www.stopbullyingnow.com www.stopbullyingworld.com www.stopbullyingnow.orgwww.stopbullyingnow.org (HRSA)

44. Cyberbullying Stuart Green NJ Coalition for Bullying Awareness and Prevention www.njbullying.orgwww.njbullying.org, (908) 522-2581 (primary source: Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats, Nancy Willard)

45. Why Cyberbullying? Schools/parents ask about it. Intense media focus: ‘novelty/new threat’ Fears of tech, shift of power (to kids, experts) Association with violence/cultural toxicity Tragedies: Missouri; Lakeland, FL Fastest growing form of bullying (and beyond school)

46. CYBERBULLYING  Electronic/digital  A 'better' way (for violence): o wider potential 'audience' o anonymity o easier, safer (for those bullying) o no escape (for the bullied) o no adults.  New but growing (bigger than 'offline'?)

47. Cyberbullying is Bullying Imbalance of Power Pattern of Negative Acts (Intent to Harm) Negative Acts: Direct and Indirect Bullying: Direct: (e.g.) Hitting, comments to targeted person Indirect: (e.g.) Exclusion, spreading a rumor Cyberbullying: Direct: (e.g.) Email to targeted person Indirect: (e.g.) Sending a photo to others

48. CYBERBULLYING  Different than offline: o more bully/victims o more girls o self-harm 'support'  Same as it ever was: o bullied offline and online o still mostly school-based

49. Evolving Definitions Cyberbullying: Sending or posting harmful material or engaging in other forms of social aggression using the Internet or other digital technologies. Cyberthreats: Sending or posting direct threats or distressing material that raises concerns that the person may be considering committing an act of violence against others or self.

50. ‘Cyber’ Internet, phone, pda/smartphone, IM, chat, email, discussion board, blogs, v(b)logs, text messaging, online games, peer to peer networking, online matchmaking Includes text, photos, drawings, videos, audio and combos.

51. Specific CyberB Types Flaming Harassment Denigration (harmful postings) Impersonation Outing/Trickery (hidden group communication) Exclusion (list removal/ blocking) Cyberstalking (unwanted online involvement) Cyberthreats (blackmail, assault, suicide threat)

52. Necessary Conditions No adult presence (except exploitive) Adults not aware (e.g., 70% teens say parents don’t check), or not adequately computer literate Youth believe computer use private (diff. from tv) Huge #’s (22% have website, 41 million MySpace) Special appeal to troubled youth (e.g., ED, suicide, hate groups, gangs, ‘self-harm’ sites) Internet addiction (avoids feelings/challenges, impairs other activity)

53. How Common? (for bullying, min. 10% - studies report wide range) Pew ’07: 32% forwarding/posting private message – 15% spreading a rumor – 13% threatening message – 13% posting a photo w/o permission – 6% Most experts believe CyberB increasing faster than offline forms, exceeding offline B in incidents.

54. B/CyberB Comparisons I Small percentage of bullied children also bully. However, in CyberB, 20% of bullied youth also bully (retaliated?). Many offline bullied youth (70%) also bullied online. Most CyberB relats school-based and most incidents experienced at school. (Limber and Kowalski ’06) (Media Awareness Canada ’05) (Fight Crime/Invest in Kids ’06)

55. B/CyberB Comparisons II Most B’s are boys. CyberB involves more girls (boys still majority?) CyberB retaliatory for offline (school) bullying. Gender identity and expression major targeted offline. Different for cyberB? CyberB suicide (self-harm) support unique

56. B/CyberB Comparisons III Ability to gather more bystanders, quickly. Easier activity (not requiring physical presence, less time, energy) Increased anonymity, one effect of which is to increase ability of lower status or power youth to bully, possibly enlarging bully/victim class. Target ‘can’t’ escape bullying at home.

57. What B and CyberB Have in Common Imbalance of power, pattern of negative acts, intent to hurt. Most targets are (or become) lower status Important role of bystanders High prevalence (‘most common violence’) School relations (‘building-based, offline’) most frequently Sexual harassment a common form Don’t trust parents to hear/react in appropriate (restrained) manner Don’t trust school staff to understand/respond appropriately. Adults inadequately protective/involved.

58. What can schools do about cyberbullying?  Include cyberbullying in all anti-bullying programs/materials.  Monitor computer/device use, restrict access/use.  Establish an electronic anonymous reporting mechanism.  Train staff and educate students.  Accept that cyberbullying is a school responsibility.

59. What can parents do? Good relations and communication. Keep computer in ‘public’ place. Obtain school supervision and intervention (expect/ask/demand) Trust better than over-investigation (e.g., keyboard programs), though this may be needed (if problem already exists).

60. General Internet Use Golden Rules for Kids (Willard ’07) Be Kind Online Online Persons Are Real What You Do Reflects on You Think First (am I being kind?) What would parent think? Am I violating a contract? Could I do this in real world? What if I weren’t ‘invisible’? Online active has real-world impact. You leave ‘cyberfootprints’.

61. Adults are Responsible (Willard ‘07) Go after youtube, myspace, facebook owners. Use government (e.g., regulation) and media (exposure) as tools. (Site/Provider ‘terms of use’ agreements typically limit ‘harmful speech’.) Most sites require stated age 13/older to register, but no meaningful enforcement/limits (children don’t have official ID) or parental permission. (COPPA (Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act) limits info sites can obtain from children under 13, and requires parent approval for registration. www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/edcams/kidzprivacy).www.ftc.gov/bcp/conline/edcams/kidzprivacy Many teens use multiple user names and log-ins, and sites don’t address this issue. Review of postings is promised but very sporadic, relying mainly on a complaint process.

62. “While much of this activity is occurring off-campus, the impact on the well-being of students and the school climate can be significant. … schools can – and must - employ (strategies) to address these serious concerns.” (Willard, Cyberbullying, 2007, p. 2)

63. New (Limited) Knowledge Cyberbullying and Cyberthreats, Nancy E. Willard, Research Press, 2007. http://cyberbully.orghttp://cyberbully.org Pew Internet and American Life Project. www.pewinternet.orgwww.pewinternet.org www.media-awareness.ca www.fightcrime.org

64. www.njbullying.org (908) 522-2581