1. Pre-Marriage Discussion 1/15/2011

3.  Session 1 – Knowing God and His Will  Session 2 – Group Discussion  Session 3 – When The Time Comes  Lunch  Session 4 – We Love Each Other, What Could Possibly Go Wrong?  Session 5 – Group Discussion  Session 6 – What Now?

4.  Where are you today? How is your personal relationship with Him now? Does it need work?  Do you know the Word of God? Will you study to show your self approved? Become a diligent workman unashamed to proclaim Him.  Am I a servant now or self-focused?

6.  Word of God – does it encourage, forbid, or ignore?  Godly counsel from authorities and those that know you well  Circumstances  Humility

7.  Bible begins and ends with a wedding – Jesus first miracle was at one – heading to a wedding feast  “Not good for man to be alone” – Genesis  Leave his father and mother join with his wife – Genesis/Matthew/Ephesians  He who finds a wife finds a good thing – Proverbs  Two are better than one and a three stand cord is not quickly broken – Ecclesiastes

8.  Being single allows you to be totally devoted to the Lord – 1 Corinthians 7  Not less of a person if not married  Marriage seems to stop in heaven  While most will marry, not all will or should (Paul –remain as I am?)

9.  What do those in authority say about your decision?  What do those that know you best say about you or your decision?  What do those that are more mature and experienced say to you about this decision?

10.  Really only two questions involved if marriage is in your future –  Who and when  Are you considering marriage for the right reasons?  Is this the right time? Can you provide? Are you running away from something? Are you attempting to prove something to someone?

11.  Being willing to admit you made a mistake or you are not ready  Being willing to listen to others that are older and wiser  Not demanding your own way or timing  Trusting God for direction and confirmation  Better to be happily married for 40 years than miserably married for 50!

12.  Is your relationship with God growing?  Are you seeking Him daily for wisdom and grace?  Are you spending time in the Word of God?  When facing major decisions:  Consult the Word, your authorities, pay attention to the circumstances, and remain humble  Step out in faith for you can’t steer a parked car!

14.  1. What is the most important attribute that I should be looking for in a future spouse?  2. What should a future spouse be looking for in me?

15.  What type of spirit is within that body?  What is the commitment to the Lord?  How mature is the person emotionally?  How do they treat others, specifically their family?  Do we have similar interests and goals?  Are they selfish or self-less?

16.  Biblically – many ways to get a spouse  Trade for them, capture them, slay their male family members, meet them on your wedding day as arranged by parents or older siblings, etc.  In our day two primary ways – some sort of dating or some sort of courtship

17.  A guy and girl spending time together enjoying each others company without any intention of pursuing marriage or a deeper commitment.  Often self focused and is noncommittal  Morally dangerous, potential scars, begins a pattern of breaking relationships instead of creating enduring ones

18.  A guy and girl begin a relationship with the express purpose of pursing marriage  The end goal is not just personal enjoyment, but seeking the Lord about spending the rest of your life with this person  Still will not prevent hurts, immorality is still possible without effective guidelines  Reinforces the lifelong concept of marriage

19.  Of our actions and how they impact others  Guys – paying special attention to a young lady launches an entire series of thoughts that usually focus on marriage  Girls – flirtations/clothing can give the wrong impression as to your character and desires

20.  Pray and observe  Focus on life long traits not just physical attraction  Kindness, servanthood, growing walk with God, spiritual or carnal  Fruit production – Galatians 5:22-23  Include parents early on for wisdom and protection

22.  ½ of all couples divorce now – including those in the Church  Almost all of them said they loved each other and vowed to stay married until death  Why?

23.  Lack of commitment to the Lord or backsliding  Lack of commitment to the covenant of marriage thus allowing a back door exit  An illusion of what married life was going to be like – two becoming one is a volatile process  Entertaining thoughts that should have been taken captive

24.  Failure to realize the spiritual nature of marriage, its significance and the attacks against it  Failure to recognize that help is needed, then being humble enough to seek it out  While $, the physical relationship, children, etc. are often blamed, the underlying reasons are spiritual and so is the solution.

26.  $, in-laws, how much time is spent with family and friends, same friends or different?  Vacations, child training, free time, hobbies, establishing a new home, home chores  Hurts, wounds, forgiveness, sensitive, insensitive, anger, pouting, assigning motives  Love and Respect Seminar by Dr. Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs based on Eph 5

28.  A newly married couple faces a major decision – relocating for a job and the couple disagree – how does this get resolved?

29.  Ephesians 5:22-33 explains what God expects  Servant leaders and faith filled followers  Love as Christ loved the Church and line up under an imperfect authority with faith in God  God expects the two to become one and function as one and that takes death-to-self daily  No one is perfect except Christ – forgive and walk on

30.  While single, seek the Lord – Invest your time and energy in growing and serving others  The issue is always God’s will and not our personal happiness or goals  God has placed authorities in your life for a reason – include them and listen to them  Marriage is a picture of Christ and the Church – What will we present to the waiting world?

31.  Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.