1. Strengthening Connections between parents and children affected by substance abuse, HIV, and trauma Conference The Driskill Hotel Austin, Texas September 12, 2012 Tanji L. Donald, M.Ed. PCS Consultant and Trainer tanjineal@yahoo.com

2.  Welcome & Introduction  Ice-Breaker  Overview ◦ Childhood Abuse and Neglect ◦ Affects of SA & Trauma on the Father-Child Relationship  Daniel’s Story ◦ Processing Grief & Loss  Strategies and Interventions  Resources

3.  A man who is participating fully in all aspects of their children’s lives emotionally, physically and financially.  Fatherhood is defined by one’s expectations, personal beliefs, culture, and value system.

4. Family History AbuseEmotionalPhysicalMentalSexualNeglect

5. Lowered Self- Worth Depression Dysfunctional Family Environments PTSD Symptoms Legal Troubles Incarceration

6. Separation and Reunification  Instability  Relapse  Unresolved feelings and emotions  Limited opportunities to re-establish father- child connections  Loss of contact with child’s mom

7. Lack of Knowledge  Self-Care Skills  Effective Discipline Practices  Children’s Developmental Tasks  Needs of Children

8. Lack of Knowledge  Problem Solving Skills  Conflict Resolution Skills  Social & Emotional Development  Establishing, Implementing & Maintaining Routines

9. Emotional Disconnection Between Parent & Child Caused by:  Undeveloped Relationships  Isolation  Emotional Effects of Use & Withdrawal from Substances  Difficulty Maintaining Trust

10.  Impulsive Behavior  Lack of Internalized Image of Right and Wrong  Frequently Seen as “Acting Out”  Unhealthy, Maladaptive Roles in Family  Unhealthy coping strategies

11.  Numbing – Don’t Feel  Poor Self-Regulation Skills  Difficulty to Calm and Self-Soothe  Shame and Guilt  Un-Grieved losses  Boys – Speech, Behavior, Conduct Disorders (Reference – Brown University Newsletter)

12. Maternal Facilitation Father’s Psychological Characteristics Gender Role Attitudes

13. ______, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.

14. Anger Bargaining Depression Denial Time Acceptance/ Adjustment

15.  Authenticity is the freedom and ability to live within a relationship at a high level of exposure and vulnerability  Mutuality means that energy and interest flow back and forth between two people and is characterized by a dynamic, interactive sensitivity and responsiveness  Empathy is the process by which disclosure and sharing on oneself leads to a heightened sense of self and understanding others. J.B. Miller

16.  Structure & Consistency  Empathic & Nurturing Responses  Personal Growth  Coping Skills  Re-parent  Opportunities to Enhance Self-Esteem  Allow Mistakes  Praise/Acknowledgement  Creativity & Fun

17. Fathers Need  Opportunities to Acknowledge the Impact of Substance Abuse and Trauma on Their Family  Support in Developing a Positive Self- Image as a Parent  Step-by-Step Instructions  An Opportunity to Grieve

18. Fathers Need  To be Included in Family Assessments that Incorporate their Strengths & Competencies as well as their Parenting Issues  Father Focused Age Appropriate Activities  Parenting Education and Support Programs

19.  Handouts  Websites  www.helpguide.org/child abuse physical emotional sexual neglect.htm www.helpguide.org/child  www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov www.findtreatment.samhsa.gov  www.ct.gov/dph/lib/dph/hisr/pdf/building_healt hy_relationships.pdf www.ct.gov/dph/lib/dph/hisr/pdf/building_healt hy_relationships.pdf  Access to free materials – www.fatherhoodproject.org  www.ACF/healthymarriage.govwww.ACF/healthymarriage.gov