1. Parenting 2.0: How to Help Parents with Digital Issues and Fears

2. Rita Oates, PhD Formerly ed tech director, Miami-Dade County Public Schools VP, Education Markets, ePals Inc.

3. Session description Did your mama talk to you about sexting, cyberbullying, and watching what you post on Facebook? Parents today have a whole new set of challenges and issues, raised by technology at school and home. Learn how you can help parents understand the real issues, fears and challenges and support them in being great parents in a 2.0 world. Resources for schools and families will be shared, and the core presentation is based on presentations at school PTA meetings, Wired Safety and Wired Moms.

4. What are your biggest fears for your child in this wired world?

5. 1.Predators meet my child online and do something awful 2.My credit card number is stolen after my child buys something (without my permission) 3.My child shares family information with strangers 4.My child sees graphic porn 5.My child sees gruesome photos 6.My child takes and shares an indecent photo 7.Info on my child will create a problem when he’s older 8.Other things?

6. Parent Fears in Australia Parents’ main concerns about their children using the internet: –coming into contact with sexually explicit material (89%) –being targeted by online predators (86%) –being infected by viruses and spyware (86%) Children are naive to internet dangers Parents don’t possess technological know how to implement effective safety measures - June 2010

7. Aussie Kids do More than Parents Realize Online 32% have seen images of naked people 29% have: –seen violent images –played games rated MA15+ –been contacted by someone they don’t know 17% have been asked for personal details 14% have been teased or bullied online 7% have had someone post pictures or videos without their permission

8. Organizations Exist to Help PTA Wired Safety Wired Moms: Taking back the Net! –Safeguarding all kids in cyberspace Teen Angels and Tween Angels Groups Study Internet Safety, Suggest Policy Parental settings on AOL, Internet Explorer, Cable Others from list compiled by CTAP4

9. Annotated Resources June 2010 report includes annotated sites about internet safety http://www.ntia.doc.gov/reports/2010/OST WG_Final_Report_060410.pdfhttp://www.ntia.doc.gov/reports/2010/OST WG_Final_Report_060410.pdf Pages 34-49

10. Parent Education Provide resources Work with PTA and other parent groups Encourage parental involvement at home

11. http://www.wiredsafety.org

13. Task Force Report from Harvard

14. Main Charge for Task Force Assess online dangers to children Find scalable technological solutions to keep children safe Focus on age verification for minors

15. Filters are NOT the whole story Role-based computing –Teacher –Parent –Student Under 13 Older than 13 –Other trusted adult

16. SchoolMail 365 Policies: NYC DOE le SchoolMail 365 Policies Communication PolicyTeachersModeratorsStudentsParents Teachers can email with:In same districtIn same schoolIn same classIn same school Moderators can email with:In same school Parents can email with:In same school In same Family None Students in grades >=6 can email with:In same school In same Family Students in grades < 6 can email with:In same school In same gradeIn same Family Policies governing the ability to discover and email groups of individuals Email Moderation, Monitoring and Filtering Policies RoleConstraintsExternal AccessAll IncomingAll OutgoingStop Word All Attachments Media Attachments System Admin Internet N/A for Adult Roles School Admin Internet Teacher Internet Moderator Internet Parent NYC Domain Only StudentGrade >= 6NYC Domain OnlyOff ModerateOffMonitor StudentGrade <6NYC Domain OnlyMonitor ModerateOffModerate

17. Task Force Major Risk Findings Public perception of predators and victims is not accurate Only about 3% of teens are at risk from predators Significant threat from peer harassment and cyberbullying Need for further study

18. To Catch a Predator says… Predators –Don’t hide age –Don’t hide purpose –Don’t even have to push buttons The “Victim” –Risk taker –Teen in adult chat room (Not a social network) –Willing to talk about sex –More than willingly to meet for sex –Just as likely to be at risk off-line

19. What the Task Force Found Most Predators –Don’t hide age –Don’t hide purpose –Do know how to push the right buttons Most Victims –Risk takers –Troubled teens –Broken homes or little parental involvement –Go willingly to meetings –Just as likely to be at risk off-line

20. A Different Perception Example of video that tells a story to teach about Cyberbullying

21. Cyberbullying 30-85% victimized 5% reported to parents About 50% tell friends Chat, IM and email are most commonly used to bully ALL of these are included in social networks Initial reactions are frustration, anger, sadness Progressive reactions are anxiety, fear, physical illness, absenteeism, violence, or suicide Schools using moderated communication tools help decrease bullying

22. http://www.teenangels.org

23. Stop Cyberbullying Toolkit

24. Unveiled in Feb. 2009 www.stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html Megan’s Pledge Recommendation to schools: The school's acceptable use policy can reserve the right to discipline the student for actions taken off-campus if they are intended to have an effect on a student or they adversely affect the safety and well- being of student while in school. This makes it a contractual, not a constitutional, issue. First Amendment Rights of free speech are not then at risk.

25. WiredSafety Videos and Animations

26. Facebook and Other General Market Social Networks Check the privacy settings When children are grade 5 or older, do it together “Google” yourself and your child and see what is said Apply basic etiquette to the new medium Once posted, it’s always available –Wayback site…shows internet pages on previous days…NOTHING is ever really deleted from the Internet

27. Social Learning Networks Companies in the education market have designed social networks that are: –Private –Safe –Observe CIPA and FERPA –Encourage the best part of social networking –Protect students and teachers from the problems of general market tools NOT designed for education ePals LearningSpace is one example

28. Sexting…cell phones and cameras Images can be quickly copied and sent to many people Can’t really ever erase an image Text messages can be retrieved…as Gov. of SC and Tiger found out Felony  sex offender at age 18 Don’t say it, don’t send it unless you would be willing to have it on the 6 PM news

29. Video for Students and Parents A Geeky Momma's Blog by Lee Kolbert http://www.leekolbert.com/2011/01/lesson- to-share-and-then-create.htmlhttp://www.leekolbert.com/2011/01/lesson- to-share-and-then-create.html from a blog by a Palm Beach Co. teacher in Boca Raton, Florida Common Craft video to use with students and parents

30. Common Craft: Protecting Reputations Online

31. TRUSTe certification: Child Privacy AdobeApple MicrosoftCisco Electronic Arts Education-focused sites with TRUSTe certification Cahootie Brightstorm Course Hero Disney Internet Education Planet ePals GoTrybe Kidzrocket Leafcutter Leapfrog Schoolwires Thinkquest Togetherville Vantage Learning

32. What Would You Like to Suggest to Parents?

33. Parenting Guidelines Know what your children are doing Work with them to discuss limits, responsibilities Talk about problems from the news, from work, from others (without revealing a neighbor’s name)

34. Setting Limits for Children What happens if they cross the line? –Lose cell phone for a month? A semester? –Get additional chores? Can you enforce the punishment? Be consistent. –Some kids will push the limits; others observe and don’t. –Ask kids to suggest the guidelines and punishments; they may actually be tougher on themselves than you would be! –Talk with others and decide what the “community” does and what you will do. –Discuss with your children. Their actions have consequences! –You are the parent. You pay the bills. You can see what they are doing!

35. Increase Communication with Distant Relatives and Friends Facebook friends with Grandma, Aunt Tilly –Relationships and sharing between teens and distant grandparents is becoming a trend Encourage appropriate communication with known individuals, not “I’m going to have a thousand friends!”

36. Frightening Things for Parents Not admitted to college…because daughter emailed application from hotsexxxychick@aol.com hotsexxxychick@aol.com Applied for job, but Facebook page shows using illegal substance, bragging about stealing something from another employer, etc. ….and employers ARE checking up on people every way they can today Embarrassing or untrue photos/videos posted and “go viral”

37. Parenting 2.0 in a Wired World Enough is enough…keep time on digital activities in balance with sports, scouts, other activities Caution kids that written communications don’t have the “cues” from face-to-face communication. –Think about it, read it out loud before sending. –Save it and wait a while if you aren’t sure about it. Invite your children to keep you informed …they will surprise you!

38. Parenting 2.0 in a Wired World Spend Some Time with WiredSafety –Look at the Flash videos –Share video stories with your children and talk about them Children want to know what you think and watch how you act! Be an informed parent Model behaviors you wish them to use

39. Benefits of Online World are Terrific! More teens and ‘tweens are creating content and connecting online for educational benefits, offering schools new opportunities to use technology –National School Boards Association Study Students report that one of the most common topics of conversation on the social networking scene is education

40. Students Report… They are spending almost as much time using social networking services and Web sites as they spend watching television. Among teens who use social networking sites, that amounts to: – About 9 hours a week online –10 hours a week watching television –A decrease in amount of TV watching (which is passive) and an increase in communication online (which is active)

42. This session’s slides are uploaded to www.scribd.com under “Rita Oates” as author. www.scribd.com Contact information: Rita Oates roates@corp.epals.com Twitter: @ritaoates Permission granted to use these slides with others