1. Hebrews 13 Christian Distinctives: Marriage and Sexuality

2. Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

3. Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

4. Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -What does it mean to honor marriage?

5. Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -What does it mean to honor marriage? -- That you understand and affirm God’s view of sexuality

6. Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. -What does it mean to honor marriage? -- That you understand and affirm God’s view of sexuality -- That you invest the time and effort to create a good marriage

7. Christian Distinctives 4 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral. What does it mean to honor marriage? -That you prioritize marriage in your own life and in the lives of others -That marriage is the “line in the sand” for civil disobedience.

8. Sex Love and Marriage Naturalistic theory: Sex = mating Different human physiology Morality = instinct or social contract Love = a chemical reaction: mating urge

9. Sex Love and Marriage Postmodern theory: Sex = a means of self-expression Love = a mystical feeling that is totally unpredictable Morality = “preference” –What about pedophilia, prostitution, other forms of abuse?

10. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View:

11. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’

12. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ Therefore, sexuality is built into God’s design for humans

13. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ Also gender is not culturally constructed, but built into our beings

14. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'?

15. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? Unity relationship possible through a sexual relationship

16. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? Unity relationship possible through a sexual relationship Not 3, 5, or 20

17. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? -6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

18. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? -6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.” Commitment for life in a heterosexual marriage = the only correct venue for sex

19. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? -6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Jesus reveals that marriage is not a social convention subject to revision

20. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? -6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Jesus reveals that marriage is not a social convention subject to revision Jesus reveals that marriage is not a social convention subject to revision Marriage and the family were actually features engineered into the fabric of human beings Marriage and the family were actually features engineered into the fabric of human beings

21. Sex Love and Marriage Biblical View: -Jesus: Mat. 19:4 "Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' -5 and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? -6 So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Jesus reveals that marriage is not a social convention subject to revision Jesus reveals that marriage is not a social convention subject to revision Marriage and the family were actually features engineered into the fabric of human beings Marriage and the family were actually features engineered into the fabric of human beings A life-long marriage is the only venue where God- centered personal and sexual love and commitment can properly combine to form a family A life-long marriage is the only venue where God- centered personal and sexual love and commitment can properly combine to form a family

22. Yet, in our day, we’ve decided we don’t need marriage along the lines prescribed by Christ. We now see a dramatic decline in marriage, as well as “serial” and alternative marriages Divorce has “stabilized” at a rate 3 times that of thirty years ago Meanwhile, cohabitation has increased 5-fold Yet, in our day, we’ve decided we don’t need marriage along the lines prescribed by Christ. We now see a dramatic decline in marriage, as well as “serial” and alternative marriages Divorce has “stabilized” at a rate 3 times that of thirty years ago Meanwhile, cohabitation has increased 5-fold Sex Love and Marriage

23. Cohabitation in America Study by Johns Hopkins & University of Wisconsin “Cohabiting Unions Less Stable Than [Unions] Beginning as Marriages.” Millions cohabiting 40% 45% 15% Marriage SurvivesCohabitation Cohabit Before Marriage Traditional Marriage

24. Cohabitation in America Millions cohabiting 45% Univ. of Western Ontario study of 8,177 “ever-married” men & women “Premarital cohabiters in Canada have over twice the incidence of divorce in any year of marriage when compared with premarital non-cohabiters.” David R. Hall and John Z. Zhao, “Cohabitation and Divorce in Canada: Testing the Selectivity Hypothesis,” Journal of Marriage and the Family 57 (1995): 421-427.

25. Cohabitation and Marriage Findings: Couples who cohabited: -Reported “greater marital conflict and poorer communication” -Were “less committed to the institution of marriage” -“Perceived greater likelihood of divorce, And longer cohabitation indicated higher likelihood of divorce” -Experienced “lower quality marriages” 12 indicators of quality in marital relationship. Findings: Couples who cohabited: -Reported “greater marital conflict and poorer communication” -Were “less committed to the institution of marriage” -“Perceived greater likelihood of divorce, And longer cohabitation indicated higher likelihood of divorce” -Experienced “lower quality marriages” 12 indicators of quality in marital relationship. 13,000 adults in nationwide study University of Wisconsin, Thompson & Colella, “Cohabitation and Marital Stability: Quality or Commitment” JMF #54 [1992]: 259-267

26. Cohabitation and Gender Northern State University Herry, Huffman, et al., “Gender Differences and Factors Related to the Disposition Toward Cohabitation,” Family Therapy, 21 (1994) 171-184. Men cohabit because of “the convenience” of the relationship (“particularly the availability of sex”)Men cohabit because of “the convenience” of the relationship (“particularly the availability of sex”) Women cohabit believing it will lead to marriageWomen cohabit believing it will lead to marriage “Those men who cohabited exhibited the most accepting view of rape.”“Those men who cohabited exhibited the most accepting view of rape.” Northern State University Herry, Huffman, et al., “Gender Differences and Factors Related to the Disposition Toward Cohabitation,” Family Therapy, 21 (1994) 171-184. Men cohabit because of “the convenience” of the relationship (“particularly the availability of sex”)Men cohabit because of “the convenience” of the relationship (“particularly the availability of sex”) Women cohabit believing it will lead to marriageWomen cohabit believing it will lead to marriage “Those men who cohabited exhibited the most accepting view of rape.”“Those men who cohabited exhibited the most accepting view of rape.”

27. Sex Love and Marriage What are the underlying assumptions behind cohabitation and sexual activity outside marriage? 1. That the God of the Bible is wrong. “Get your religion out of my bedroom!” 2. That commitment is not a necessary component. “It’s just sex, get over it.” 3. That sex is an act that can be practiced safely outside marriage. “Why should a ring and a ceremony make any difference?” 4. That successful sexuality involves technique and variety. “I want to be an experienced and artful lover.” 5. That a history of sexual variety may help your marriage when the time comes. 6. That it’s OK to use other’s bodies without thought for their true nature.

28. Sex Love and Marriage Single Christians Sexual desires now at highest pitch they will ever reach Yet not fulfilled Therefore, single, Christian, and frustrated How to react?

29. Sex Love and Marriage Superspiritual = “I’m not really interested in that kind of thing anyway…” Confess, “Yes, I want this kind of relationship and I am frustrated” Set marriage as a goal Determine you will approach that goal in a spiritual way Opportunities will come along to satisfy that urge the wrong way…

30. Sex Love and Marriage Col. 3:25 For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality. Learn to build successful love relationships

31. Sex Love and Marriage Possible reasons for lack of fulfillment in this area as a single 1. Are there things in you that are not yet appropriate for marriage? - Maybe your focus should be less on finding someone you can get, and more on becoming a person who is ready? - Why should your loved one settle for less than the best?

32. Sex Love and Marriage 2. Maybe there is a specific plan God has for this period of your life that requires you be single? - “I wish I had enjoyed my single life more” - What are the spiritual advantages to your singleness?

33. Sex Love and Marriage 3. Maybe God has picked this area of your life as the venue to have it out with you on the issue of self will? - Which is more important to you: Your desires, or my will?

34. Sex Love and Marriage For the married: Center your family around God Learn to invest in your family Take lasting problems to a qualified Christian helper

35. Sex Love and Marriage Prioritizing Marriage and Family The old question: “Which comes first, my marriage or my ministry?” Failure in either area threatens the other Respect privacy but share about your marriage Cover for each other when needed to enhance marriage and family

36. Sex, Love, and Marriage Comments? Stories? Questions?