2Real World Warm-up:Shannon could hear footsteps behind her as she walked toward home. The thought of being followed made her heart beat faster. “You’re being silly,” she told herself, “no one is following you.” To be safe, she began to walk faster, but the footsteps kept up with her pace. She was afraid to look back and she was glad she was almost home. Shannon said a quick prayer, “God please let me get home safe.” She saw the porch light burning and she leaned against the door for a moment, relieved to be in the safety of her home. She glanced out the window to see if anyone was there. The sidewalk was empty.
3After tossing her books on the sofa, she decided to grab a snack and get online. She logged on under her screen name ByAngel213. She checked her Buddy List and saw GoTo123 was on. She sent him an instant message:ByAngel213: Hi. I’m glad you are on! I thought someone was following me home today. It was really weird!GoTo123: LOL You watch too much TV. Why would someone be following you? Don’t you live in a safe neighborhood?ByAngel213: Of course I do. LOL I guess it was my imagination cuz’ I didn’t see anybody when I looked out.
4GoTo123: Unless you gave your name out online GoTo123: Unless you gave your name out online. You haven’t done that have you?ByAngel213: Of course not. I’m not stupid you know.GoTo123: Did you have a softball game after school today?ByAngel213: Yes and we won!!GoTo123: That’s great! Who did you play?ByAngel213: We played the Hornets. LOL. Their uniforms are so gross! They look like bees. LOLGoTo123: What is your team called?ByAngel213: W are the Canton Cats. We have tiger paws on our uniforms. They are really cool.
5GoTo123: Did you pitch?ByAngel213: No I play second base. I got to go. My homework has to be done before my parents get home. I don’t want them mad at me. Bye!GoTo123: Catch you later. ByeMeanwhile…GoTo123 went to the member menu and began to search for her profile. When it came up, he highlighted it and printed it out. He took out a pen and began to write down what he knew about Angel so far.Her Name: ShannonBirthday: Jan 3, 1985Age: 13State where she lived: North CarolinaHobbies: Softball, chorus, skating and going to the mall
6Besides this information, he knew she lived in Canton because she had just told him. He knew she stayed by herself until 6:30pm every afternoon until her parents came home from work. He knew she played softball on Thursday afternoons on the school team, and the team was named the Canton Cats. Her favorite number 7 was printed on her jersey. He knew she was in the eighth grade at the Canton Junior High School. She had told him all this in the conversations they had online. He had enough information to find her now.Shannon didn’t tell her parents about the incident on the way home from the ball park that day. She didn’t want them to make a scene and stop her from walking home from the softball games. Parents were always overreacting and hers were the worst. It made her wish she was not an only child. Maybe if she had brothers and sisters, her parents wouldn’t be so overprotective.
7By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her By Thursday, Shannon had forgotten about the footsteps following her. Her game was in full swing when suddenly she felt someone staring at her. It was then that the memory came back. She glanced up from her second base position to see a man watching her closely.He was leaning against the fence behind first base and he smiled when she looked at him. He didn’t look scary and she quickly dismissed the fear she had felt.
8After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach After the game, he sat on a bleacher while she talked to the coach. She noticed his smile once again as she walked past him. He nodded and she smiled back. He noticed her name on the back of her shirt. He knew he had found her. Quietly, he walked a safe distance behind her. It was only a few blocks to Shannon’s home, and once he saw where she lived he quickly returned to the park to get his car.Now he had to wait. He decided to get a bite to eat until the time came to go to Shannon’s house. He drove to a fast food restaurant and sat there until time to make his move.
9Shannon was in her room later that evening when she heard voices in the living room. “Shannon, come here,” her father called. He sounded upset and she couldn’t imagine why. She went into the room to see the man from the ballpark sitting on the sofa.“Sit down,” her father began, “this man just told us a most interesting story about you.”Shannon sat back. How could he tell her parents anything? She had never seen him before today!“Do you know who I am, Shannon?” the man asked.
10“No,” Shannon answered.“I am a police officer and your online friend, GoTo123.”Shannon was stunned. “That’s impossible! GoTo is a kid my age! He’s 14 and he lives in Michigan!”The man smiled. “I know I told you all that, but it wasn’t true. You see, Shannon, there are people online who pretend to be kids; I was one of them. But while others do it to find kids and hurt them, I belong to a group of parents who do it to protect kids from predators. I came here to find you to teach you how dangerous it is to talk to people online. You told me enough about yourself to make it easy for me to find you. Your name, the school you went to, the name of your ball team, and the position you played. The number and name on your jersey just made finding you a breeze.”
11Shannon was stunned. “You mean you don’t live in Michigan?” He laughed. “No, I live in Raleigh. It made you feel safe to think I was so far away, didn’t it?”She nodded.“I had a friend whose daughter was like you. Only she wasn’t as lucky. The guy found her and murdered her while she was home alone. Kids are taught not to tell anyone when they are alone, yet they do it all the time online. The wrong people trick you into giving out information a little here and there online. Before you know it, you have told them enough for them to find you without even realizing you have done it. I hope you have learned a lesson from this and won’t do it again. Tell others about this so they will be safe too?”“It’s a promise!”
12Questions for Reflection… How did that story make you feel before you realized that the police were involved?Are you home alone on occasion? Have internet conversations with people you have never met?How can we stop the cycle of predators that has become so overpowering? (Dateline Show)What would you tell your friends who are participating in the same conversations as Shannon, not realizing what could happen?
13What is love? What isn’t love? Love is:ResponsibilityHard WorkPleasureCommitmentCaringHonestyCompromisingRecognizing DifferencesRespectfriendshipLove isn’t:JealousyPossessivenessViolencePainCrueltyGetting PregnantManipulationScoringIntimidationExpecting your needs to be met
14Mature love vs. infatuation Relationship gradually developsSecurity and trustHigh self-esteemRelationship based on foundation of friendshipBoth people show AffectionInfatuationPhysical attractionDriven by excitementBased on fantasyRelationship lacks a foundationInsecurity and distrustLack of confidence
15Healthy relationships Initial attractionTwo people are attracted to each other and want to get to know each otherfriendshipAs the two people get to know each other better, they find they have some things in commonClose friendshipThe two people get to know each others values and feelings and enjoy doing things together. This is considered “dating”.Deep friendshipThe two people confide in, trust, and support each other. This is considered “going steady”.Life long loveTwo people feel they can commit to each other for life. This relationship may lead to marriage.
16Is it your right or responsibility? To express your opinion and have them respectedTo have your needs be as important as your boyfriends/girlfriends needsTo grow as an individual in your own wayTo change your mindTo not take responsibility of your boyfriends/girlfriends behaviorsTo not be physically, mentally, or emotionally abusedTo break up and fall out of love with someone and not be threatened
17Healthy or unhealthy relationship? Sex is the most important thingYou can be yourself, you don’t have to pretend to be someone elseYou feel energized being with the personYour partner makes it easy for you to talk about how you feelYou feel worn out and tired being with the personYou are often worried about the person leaving you for someone elseOne partner usually decides what to do and where to go
18Healthy or Unhealthy Relationships? 8. These two people don’t have much in common except sexual attraction9. You are constantly fighting and making up10. Both people feel emotionally closer as the relationship continues11. One person is 8 years older than the other and has money to pay for everything12. One partner is constantly pressuring the other to have sexual intercourse13. This couple has talked a lot and have decided to have sex, but only after getting and using protection14. One partner has agreed to a one on one relationship, but continues to go out with other people
19Early warning signs of dating violence Is jealous and possessiveWon’t let you have friendsChecks up on youWon’t accept breaking upTries to control you, is bossy, gives orders and makes all the decisionsIs violent and loses their temper quicklyPressures you to have sex
20Warning signs contIs scary, you don’t know how they will react to things you say or do.Abuses drugs or alcoholBlames you for everything, “You just don’t understand me”Believes that they should be in control and powerful and you should be passiveYour family and friends fear for your safety
21Factors that can lead to Violence among Teens Feeling Threatened The stress from being threatened can lead to violence.Unmanaged Anger Fatigue or poor living conditions can make one irritable and more prone to act out with anger.Lack of Respect Violent acts against people just because they are of a different race, religion, or culture are called hate crimes. Tolerance is the ability to overlook differences and see people for who they are.
22Abuse:Abuse is physical or emotional harm to someone.The most common forms of abuse come from people one should be able to trust.Abusers are often people who were once abused themselvesLearning to recognize inconsiderate and disrespectful behavior will help you avoid abusive people.
24How to Protect Yourself from Abuse: Create a supportive network of friends and family.Avoid disrespectful people.Be assertive when dealing with potential abusers.Show disapproval if a person does not treat you in an acceptable way.
25The do’s of datingDo find out some of the activities that he/she likes to do – even if they’re not your favorite activitiesDo focus on getting to know your dateDo be respectful of your date’s wishes and independenceDo observe the rules your parent’s and your date’s parents set for dating
26The don’ts of datingDon’t always insist on being the one to decide what to doDon’t focus only on having a good-looking or popular boyfriend or girlfriendDon’t be manipulative or arrogantDon’t cause difficulty by going against the wishes of your parents or your dates parents
27Sexual Abuse: Sexual abuse is any sexual act without consent. Sexual harassment is any unwanted remark, behavior, or touch that has sexual content.Sexual harassment is most dangerous when the harasser holds a position of power.
29What to look for if someone is being abused: Victims of rape and sexual assault may suffer the following effects:Physical injuriesEmotional traumaPregnancy or sexually transmitted diseasesGuilt and shameTrouble sleeping and eatingPost-traumatic stress disorder
31Are YOU Being Abused?1. Are you frightened by your boyfriend/girlfriend’s temper?2. Are you afraid to disagree?3. Are you constantly apologizing for your boyfriend/girlfriend’s behavior, especially when they have treated you badly?4. Do you have to justify everything you do, every place you go, or every person you see just to avoid your boyfriend/girlfriend’s anger?5. Does your boyfriend/girlfriend put you down, but then tells you that they love you?
32Are YOU Being Abused?6. Have you ever been hit, kicked, shoved, or had things thrown at you?7. Do you not see friends or family because of your boyfriend/girlfriend’s jealousy?8. Have you been forced into having sex when you didn’t want to?9. Are you afraid to break up because your boyfriend/girlfriend had threatened to hurt you or themselves?
33Are you being Abusive?Do you constantly criticize or insult your boyfriend/girlfriend?Do you make excuses for you behavior?Have you threatened your boyfriend/girlfriend or broken things in their presence?Have you forced your boyfriend/girlfriend to have sex with you or intimidated them so they are afraid to say no?Do you constantly check up on your boyfriend/girlfriend and accuse them of being with other people?Are you extremely jealous or possessive?Do you have an explosive temper?Have you hit, kicked, shoved, or thrown things at your boyfriend/girlfriend?
34Are you being Abusive? Have you threatened to hurt him/her? Have you threatened to hurt yourself if they break up with you or leave you?
36What is the proper age to get married? Judy age 8 –Eighty-four because at that age you don’t have to work anymore and you can spend all your time loving each otherTommy age 5 –Once I’m done with kindergarten, I’m going to find me a wife.
37What is the Right Age to Get Married? Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. -- Camille, age 10HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED? There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there? -- Kelvin, age 8
38HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY? You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. -- Alan, age 10 No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. -- Kristen, age 10
39What do most people do on a date? Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough. -- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)Mike age 10 –On the first day, they tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go out on a second date.WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR? I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns. -- Craig, age 9
40When is it ok to kiss someone? Jim age 10 –You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she’ll want to have videos of the wedding.Kelly age 9 –Never kiss in front of other people. It’s a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, just for a few hours.
41WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE? When they're rich. -- Pam, age 7 The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that Curt, age 7The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do. -- Howard, age 8
42The great debate: is it better to be single or married? Lynette age 9 –It’s better for girls to be single, but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them.Kenny age 7 –It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.
43Concerning why love happens between two people Jan age 9 –No one is sure why it happens, but I heard that it has something to do with how you smell. That’s why perfume and deodorant are so popular.Harlen age 8 –I think you’re supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn’t supposed to be so painful.
44On what falling in love is like Roger age 9 –Like an avalanche where you have to run for your lifeLeo age 7 –If falling in love is anything like learning to spell, I don’t want to do it. It takes too long to learn.
45Concerning why lovers often hold hands David age 8 – They want to make sure their rings don’t fall off, because they paid good money for them.Personal qualities necessary to be a good loverAva age 8 – One of you should know how to write a check. Because, even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be lots of bills.
46Some surefire ways to make a person fall in love with you Del age 6 – Tell them you own a whole bunch of candy storesAlonzo age 9 – Don’t do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain’t the same thing as loveBart age 9 – One way is to take a girl out to eat. Make sure it’s something she likes to eat. French fries work for me
47How a person learns to kiss Doug age 7 –You learn it right on the spot, when the gooshy feelings get the best of you.Carin age 9 –It might help to watch soap operas all day.
48When it’s ok to kiss someone Jean age 10 – It’s never OK to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you That’s why I stopped doing it.Confidential opinion about loveBobby age 8 – Love will find you, even if you’re trying to hide from it. I’ve been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me.
49How to make love endure Roger age 8 – Don’t forget your wife's name That will really mess up the love.Randy age 8 –Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take the trash out.
50HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED? You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids. -- Derrick, age 8WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON? Both don't want any more kids. -- Lori, age 8
51And the #1 Favorite isHOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK? Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck. -- Ricky, age 10